this pretty fucked up shit man!

Once apon a time there was this group of strapping young men Drunk and high on life! One day these men thought it would be such a damn good idea to have a picnic. They packed the car and drove to daivdstow airfield where they set up lots of big black boxes which resonate such a Good vibe.
One phoned a friend to let him know they were having a picnic with the black boxes that resonate such a good vibe, then suddenly the sky turned black and in the distance the blue flashing lights of the local boy racer who had just got some halfords vouchers for his birthday drove past. But as he looked thru his sunroof he lost control of his wild stallion and crashed into a nearby llama farm.

“Holy Shit” said the pubescent boy racer, as he got spat at by a group of llamas till the farmer came running across with a jar of pickled onions and said

In a very deep west country accent “Get off my land or give me a t24 hybrid ball bearing turbo for my new tracktooooor which im painting a nice shade of fluorescent orange so i can blend in with all the local umpa lumpa community which has escaped and have a voracious appetite for pickled onions and believe you me boy nobody likes pickled onions more than me”

and with that the farmer stripped off all his clothes and went into a field and proceeded to do a rain dance which brought down an almighty down poor and shocked the strapping young men, but didn’t stop the big black boxes resonating such a good vibe,

so the naked farmer came closer to the boxes and just as he was about to pick one up Wallace and Gromit came floating past him in a steam powered 3 seater magic carpet, with FRANK in the pasenger seat. FRANK jumped out and said,” my boss Tony has sent me here to give you no nonsense info on drug use, but I am drawn to join you in your Field festival, but Tony will be pretty pissed at me if I actually have some first hand info on drugs.” As he was thinking about what to do, one of the strapping young men handed FRANK a can of beer,

“thank you,” said frank as he began to drink the can of what he thought was just alcohol, but it also had half a bottle of acid inside. The strapping young men burst out with laughter as FRANK Necked the beer which contained the acid and Not to mention a gram and a half of ketamine and oh lordy a Wasp!!!
AAAAAAAAAGH!
cried the wasp as frank swallowed it down, but then suddenly Spontaneously combusted leaving a pile of greasy ash which strapping young men decided to rub over their strapping young bodies causing them to absorb the liquid acid deposited within his body and they soon began to come up on the mixture of drugs, wasps and FRANK, suddenly fell to the ground and started to recite the lords prayer backwards with such perfection that The angels started to cry and drip their cold tears down onto the airfield like an April shower, this caused most of the revellers to Run to the forrest for shelter with walice and gromit Because they had forgotten their umbrella

While all this drama was unfolding on the airfield, a young man visited London for the very first time, He was heading for Puttney But suddently, right there in front of him he found GOD. But god didn’t want anything to do with him…He said ‘’ My son, I have nothing further to do with you, you are one of Satan’s minions now, so get the fuck out of my face before I flood yo ass’’ he then proceeded to Puttney,to se if he could find some friends who would give him a 10p mix from the shop and he hoped it had his favourite fried eggs in there cos they gave him special feeling in his body…He just loved the sensation those eggs gave him – almost like chewing cardboard with a yellow gelatine patch stuck to the top of a car, like a cheap election campaign in a developing country. If only he hadn’t been sleeping in school he would have known where babies really come from and been able to prevent the Nightmare he was going to face now of finding out that he wasn’t delivered to the cabbage patch by gnomes. He was really a strapping young man

what a fantastic party said the pixie that lived in the cabbage patch herding caterpillars. Then they headed of down the boatyard to sell some magic cabbage to the sailors. However, on the way they were stopped by a Welshman trading leeks which was unusual at this time of day because they usually was all in the fields having rampant elephants spayed!

Meanwhile back at Davidstow airfield the fields had turned to rainbowed interlace patterns and random concentric crop circles were appearing all around him and he got very scared. What is happening to my brain!” he declared His head felt like it was going to explode.
The runway had mutated into a large black mass of swirling slugs and snails. He suddenly heard someone scream very loud “OI MATEYBOY YOU GOT THE TIME?”I THINK I MIGHT BE LATE FOR MY ” line of ketamine, quarter past four its meant to be, and after that ive got to climb yonder mountain wearing nothing but glowsticks, I fear the single minded one track tekno heads will think im a cyberbunny and kick me right up the mountain – still save me the effort of climbing it – painful though but I can take it. I usually sing to myself and not dwell on it especially if my pants have fallen down. Doesn’t it make you feel so nostalgic from my days in the city, but now I have the urge as Im on this mountain to do something…. but cant remember why I came up ere! Looking for my lost wallet!, but I don’t seem to able to care about money. It’s just the photo of my pet monkey that I would like back. I loved that monkey like a small hamster covered in yoghurt. I used to love it when id get home, that monkey would run around the house screaming, which would be followed by a badger eating mushrooms and a snake sliding in the door as it heard about the monkey abuse and was taking photos for the newspaper in London. The editor had a Wank
using a greased weasel and and an extremely irate meerkat, which promptly caused him to spill his hot nut butter in a police man’s ear. That how he got caught of course the Judge said. Summing up the judge concluded ‘’you’ve been really bad, its bad, youre bad. I think you should go to a desert island to contemplate in silence.

haha im just bored at work,

no carry on

his cd collection of bob marley