Forums The Vibe Chat Have any of you ever felt?

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  • #1045605
    Digital-A
    Participant

    Like the guys who maybe you grew up with have achieved more?

    In recent times I have been in contact and seen pictures of people I have grown up with (even ones i used to think ‘werent cool’) the thing is … i have this weird feeling that i havent achieved as much as them … this feeling isnt than unatural (large family, loads of brothers to contend with)

    anyway, most of these guys im talking about have gone to uni, loads of pictures of nights out together … all smiles etc.

    then i look at myself, failed school, hardly managed college .. loads of drugs and alcohol problems …

    i just wondered if anyone else has had this kinda feeling before?

    if so, how do you manage it? or can you?

    many smiles, me ๐Ÿ™‚

    #1180494
    Anonymous

    I feel exactly the same really all my friends have done very well for themselves really. Tis a bit of a bugger really but im very happy for them, but very jelious too i guess.

    #1180507
    Digital-A
    Participant

    I guess my main problem is that i cant see my own achievements so i see others and what they’ve done and put myself down, the strange thing is all theyve done most of them is go to university … others have done some good things, one is now a touring jazz musician (something he always wanted to do) others are doing amazing things abroad … i dunno, i guess everyone is built to compare themselves to others around them

    #1180503
    Angel
    Moderator

    Jealousy don’t help anything..

    If you don’t feel you have achieved anything, why don’t you start now :weee:

    Could be them hitting the bottom

    tomorrow..

    you guys are really nice guys, and that’s an achievement in itself in this world we live in :group_hug

    #1180508
    Digital-A
    Participant
    Angel;238626 wrote:
    Jealousy don’t help anything..

    If you don’t feel you have achieved anything, why don’t you start now :weee:

    Could be them hitting the bottom tomorrow..

    you guys are really nice guys, and that’s an achievement in itself in this world we live in :group_hug

    I guess i dunno what to do … just moved house, still living out of boxes, well my dvds anyway, and i spend all my time job hunting … my mum always used to slap me whenever i would complain about my brothers being better than me, maybe i should train it down south and get a slap ๐Ÿ™‚

    and thank you Angel ๐Ÿ™‚ ya not so bad yaself!

    #1180504
    Angel
    Moderator
    Digital-A;238627 wrote:
    my mum always used to slap me whenever i would complain about my brothers being better than me

    :owned:

    Don’t complain..Just be you :group_hug

    #1180495
    General Lighting
    Moderator

    nah, not at all

    OK some of my high school mates did stay in uni and graduate and “do well” at work whilst I partied harder and did more risky things like drugs etc, but I never dropped out altogether, I’ve only been unemployed for maybe a year out of the last 17 years

    Today I’m in a management position in a respected local business, got my own house etc…

    The only thing i haven’t had much luck with is long term relationships – but lots of my male friends of my age group what did get married/have kids are now divorced and their “trophy” wives/partners only loved them for what they had (money/cars/etc) but they often got cheated on and took for half their money and their kids are growing up in broken homes

    others seem to have suffered problems from stress, got grey hair/gone bald etc whilst I still get asked for a ID card to buy booze lol :laugh_at:

    so I reckon I’ve caught up with all the “goody two shoes” of my high school years whilst still having loads of fun.. raaa

    bear in mind if you are a man you stay young well into your 30s and even then don’t have to grow old that quickly – if you have got the basics of food, shelter and income sorted and aren’t suffering chronic ill health you have plenty of time to “grow up”..

    #1180516
    GiantMidget
    Participant

    Mate i know exactly what you mean. I have alot of mates who have gone on to bigger and better things. I don’t let it get me down though cos i reckon i’ve had alot more fun than them and gained a shitload of cool life experiences.

    Don’t let it get ya down DA, look at everything you’ve done in your life as a series of life experiences and smile! Even if it’s been a bit shit still smile!! My lifes gone up and down and all around but i wouldn’t trade it for any of my mates lives! :love:

    #1180509
    Digital-A
    Participant
    General Lighting;238630 wrote:
    if you have got the basics of food, shelter and income sorted and aren’t suffering chronic ill health you have plenty of time to “grow up”..

    thats very true man,

    i guess i was just wondering if people who had gone down the route of parties etc have felt the same as me when it came to looking at their own friends …

    @ Angel … cheers kidda ๐Ÿ™‚

    #1180510
    Digital-A
    Participant
    DJCliffy;238631 wrote:
    Mate i know exactly what you mean. I have alot of mates who have gone on to bigger and better things. I don’t let it get me down though cos i reckon i’ve had alot more fun than them and gained a shitload of cool life experiences.

    Don’t let it get ya down DA, look at everything you’ve done in your life as a series of life experiences and smile! Even if it’s been a bit shit still smile!! My lifes gone up and down and all around but i wouldn’t trade it for any of my mates lives! :love:

    Aye life experience is exactly what ive had, was just thinking before if i had kids would they find me ‘cool’ haha

    i dont get down about it really, i guess im just interested, i no ive achieved things … hopefully (if i can get a mix cd together) ill be playing on the same night as eat static … never thought that would happen haha

    s’al good ๐Ÿ™‚

    #1180496
    General Lighting
    Moderator

    hmm, all my friends since end of high school have mostly been party heads :laugh_at:

    I think age is a factor here, and people now in their 20s are in a more ruthless and competitive world than in the late 80s or early 1990s particularly as you are competing for work, girls etc with people from other backgrounds or even countries…

    And bear in mind people what have “done well” can easily have it all fuck up for them and lose it all, particularly if they start a family or long term relationship with someone they think is their “soulmate” but isn’t right for them – also the higher you get up the ladder the more people are at the bottom shaking it to try and knock you off so they can take your place..

    If I had done the “right thing” and got my degree the best I would have got would probably just being either a project manager or an accountant in somewhere like the Civil Service, BT or the NHS – without having any of the fun of the party scene whilst just being envious of that side of the freedom, (TBH I’d probably have ended up on the “other side”, working for the feds trying to track down and stop parties lol!)

    #1180502
    Raj
    Participant

    I have run into people I knew when I was yonger and tbh I havent been impressed by what they have. Maybe I am hard to impress or maybe it was the fact that some of them were on their 2nd divorce while others had loads of cash and were living emotionally sterile lives. I like having deep friendships and relationships – no amount of money will make me pass on those.

    I like my life though it occassionally sucks badly I know it will get better again. The bad times have made me evolve as a person and helped me to get to know myself. The good times have been raaaraaaraaa

    #1180517
    Sini
    Participant

    I’ve felt this before, especially since the invention of Facebook and practically everyone from school cropping up on it!

    I didn’t do very well at school, dropped out, never been uni etc etc, i’ve had moments of jealousy but i doubt they’ve had the life experiences i’ve had, learned what i did and had as much fun as i :biggreen:

    To be honest, most of the girls i went to school with have all got little ones now and i’m glad i didn’t turn out the same way [shrugs]

    Chin up DA, everything’s reet :group_hug

    #1180497
    elretardo87
    Participant

    Ask them how happy they are?

    Most of my mates sacrificed the best years (IMO) to study at high end unis and have their soul sucked out. Only one of my mates who went to Oxbridge unis enjoyed himself and now even he is taking time out to have fun.

    I took two years out and got seriously fucked up every weekend before I begrudgingly went to uni. I’ve now discovered uni is far easier as I am actually capable of living on my own and I am actually able to enjoy going out and studying at the same time.

    Plus they all graduated just before this whole credit crunch so they enter the job market at a pretty shitty time. So I’m glad to not be a member of the work force proper.

    #1180505
    coastie
    Participant

    Yep, lifes all about the experiences you’ve had, and your only 20 mate! Maybe your just feeling a bit unsettled by moving too. Money on its own doesnt really count for much imo. Feeling like this could be a really healthy thing to, it shows youve got a bit of ambition in you and would like to get the most out of yourself. If you’ve got that state of mind and are always thinking then something will come along and inspire and excite you for sure. If you’ve had the get up and go and detemination to learn to mix properly and play out and go to parties than thats pretty cool anyway. raaa:group_hug

    #1180506
    coastie
    Participant

    and without wanting to take anything away from those that have been (including myself), going to uni in itself doesnt neccessarily mean your ‘doing well’ anyway, i wouldnt use it as a messure of success atall. loads of people go and just doss it. I can think of quite a few people I know who havnt been and are still doing loads of well cool stuff.

    #1180501
    Dan Ooops
    Participant

    Don’t get too hung up on others…whilst it may seem like they have been more successful, you can’t see what their other issues have been.

    Face value – who knows who has been more successful than others? or what their measure of success is?

    I went to public school, and then on to uni – but it took me four years to complete a three year course (too much boozing!!). Then when I left I went “underground” with the party scene, never shouting too loudly to my old “straight” friends about what I was doing. But if you asked a non-uni raving mate how I’d done, they would have bigged up all my rave work. So, who says success in one field (or several fields in our case:laugh_at:) is not success in someone elses?

    I gues what I am trying to say is keep yer pecker up – someone appreciates what you do, and you shoudl try to have fun in wahtever you do, and not to get too hung up on what you think other people should think of you…

    Peace out brother:group_hug

    #1180498
    quietRIOT
    Participant

    Digital-A;238619 wrote:
    Like the guys who maybe you grew up with have achieved more?

    In recent times I have been in contact and seen pictures of people I have grown up with (even ones i used to think ‘werent cool’) the thing is … i have this weird feeling that i havent achieved as much as them … this feeling isnt than unatural (large family, loads of brothers to contend with)

    anyway, most of these guys im talking about have gone to uni, loads of pictures of nights out together … all smiles etc.

    then i look at myself, failed school, hardly managed college .. loads of drugs and alcohol problems …

    i just wondered if anyone else has had this kinda feeling before?


    I think its really Cool of you to speak about this feeling…and i bet lots more people do feel the same way …:group_hug
    im not one of them.i may not have a big house.2 cars.a leather settee.or credit cards but im far happy..compared to half the people i knew from school who are earning more than me now…
    i talk to my son about getting as many qualifications as poss and buckling down at school…cos this gives you more choices in life to live a better life not in the sense of materail things you can buy but the places you can see.less restrictions…but theres one thing thats really bothers me my son at school had posh friends.good kids who studied and hung out doing skateboarding.and he ended up not wanting to hang with them cos they were geeks…but like i tell him an hes realising now the geeks are the ones who end up with the flash cars the good job the holidays …it takes hard work:bounce_fl….and while im here….you never ever too old to re educate yourself and look at what you can do and not what you cant do and build on that ….

    dont live your life saying “shoulda woulda coulda”…your only young ffs

    #1180511
    Digital-A
    Participant
    Dan Ooops!;238908 wrote:
    Don’t get too hung up on others…whilst it may seem like they have been more successful, you can’t see what their other issues have been.

    Face value – who knows who has been more successful than others? or what their measure of success is?

    I went to public school, and then on to uni – but it took me four years to complete a three year course (too much boozing!!). Then when I left I went “underground” with the party scene, never shouting too loudly to my old “straight” friends about what I was doing. But if you asked a non-uni raving mate how I’d done, they would have bigged up all my rave work. So, who says success in one field (or several fields in our case:laugh_at:) is not success in someone elses?

    I gues what I am trying to say is keep yer pecker up – someone appreciates what you do, and you shoudl try to have fun in wahtever you do, and not to get too hung up on what you think other people should think of you…

    Peace out brother:group_hug

    Cheers man ๐Ÿ™‚

    I guess everyone is right, I think its only now ive just started to recognise my own achievements after moving house and doing something for myself … i guess its all because the guys im comparing myself to i havent seen in many years and i probably be in those photos with them if i had stayed in the north … though im not blaming the southerners for anything they’ve made me take/dance to etc ๐Ÿ˜‰

    at the end of the day i just think its a deep rooted self esteem problem which ive had since my days at school …

    anyone got any ideas on how to raise esteem?

    cheers again Dan and everyone whos posted,

    Tom ๐Ÿ™‚

    #1180499
    quietRIOT
    Participant

    tell yourself you Deserve the Best…and believe it…things will start to look up!raaa

    #1180514
    Playground Politics
    Participant

    shut up d.a, u do sometimes speak outta ur rear hole, right youve just moved to a city where uve hardly ever been, something that id struggle to do, uve made it thro ur first week, ur an amzing dj who knows his music and its not just me who says that either! ( i know nothing about djing), uve got ur self thro various addictions and have a very grownup attitude to things whitch is a very good thing to have, uve stuck thro the last year at a job that has underpaid u quite a lot, u have so many things to be proud of just cos u havent done the obvious go thro uni doesnt mean u havent achieved things, as long as ur happy now thats all that matters, or ull spend ur life worrying about careers/relationships/etc etc

    and as well uve been stuck with me for the last year whitch is a huge thing!:wink::crazy_dru

    #1180512
    Digital-A
    Participant
    Playground Politics;238980 wrote:
    shut up d.a, u do sometimes speak outta ur rear hole, right youve just moved to a city where uve hardly ever been, something that id struggle to do, uve made it thro ur first week, ur an amzing dj who knows his music and its not just me who says that either! ( i know nothing about djing), uve got ur self thro various addictions and have a very grownup attitude to things whitch is a very good thing to have, uve stuck thro the last year at a job that has underpaid u quite a lot, u have so many things to be proud of just cos u havent done the obvious go thro uni doesnt mean u havent achieved things, as long as ur happy now thats all that matters, or ull spend ur life worrying about careers/relationships/etc etc

    and as well uve been stuck with me for the last year whitch is a huge thing!:wink::crazy_dru

    Jesus dude … ya nearly brought a tear to me eye ๐Ÿ™‚

    thanks man … as i said, i guess as many others have its just low self esteem … im hoping this change in my life will bring that.

    (p.s gimme a ring soon, we need to talk about certain calls made to me at 6.30am … )

    #1180500
    quietRIOT
    Participant

    can you FEEL THE LOVE:group_hug:laugh_at::cry:

    #1180515
    Playground Politics
    Participant
    Digital-A;238985 wrote:
    (p.s gimme a ring soon, we need to talk about certain calls made to me at 6.30am … )

    oo dear, i thought it was nine or 10

    im sorry

    please dont have a go at me :crazy_dru

    #1180513
    Digital-A
    Participant
    Playground Politics;239013 wrote:
    oo dear, i thought it was nine or 10

    im sorry

    please dont have a go at me :crazy_dru

    its all good i thought it was my alarm … so ignored it :you_crazy

    s’al good, hope everythings well down your end dude, i deffo got the kitchen job so im not bricken my money sitch as much now like, speak soon …

    me ๐Ÿ™‚

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Forums The Vibe Chat Have any of you ever felt?