June 3, 2011 at 10:19 pm #1051043
Sorry in advance for the teenage angstyness of this whole thing.
I got fucking angry at something yesterday, nearly ended up in a scrap with a bloke I know from the village, and today I tryed to calm down, went swimming in a lake with a bunch of mates and had totally wound down. About 10 mins after I get home, my dad comes in, accuses me of stealing his dope, (he actually told me I could use it the other night but he can’t remember that), and now he’s stormed off to our mates house to tell everyone else there that I’ve lied to him and stolen from him. It’s wound me right back up, I’m trying to be calm about the whole thing but I feel like going down there and smacking him. GAHHH. No real point to this, I just need something to do instead of being stupid.June 3, 2011 at 10:22 pm #1240192Tank GirlParticipant
Its good to let off steam in a much more productive way than violence – I’ve used here many (many many many) times when I was going through a rough patch a few years ago – so dont apoligise :group_hugJune 3, 2011 at 10:46 pm #1240194
What got you angry in the first place bro?
Chill, take a second to think if it really matters in the grand scheme of things, if it doesn’t then let it slide mate. Life is too short to get worked up about shit that doesn’t mean anything.
If you’re really raged out do a bit of exercise, pushups, situps or something with some angry music, might help burn it off. Done that a couple of times.June 3, 2011 at 10:49 pm #1240197
I’m not going into it on here but trust me it was serious enough to be concerned about. I’m blasting Black Dahlia Murder at the moment, we’re moving out in a couple of weeks, so for one night only, fuck the neighbours, I’m gonna have it loud and get rid of my bad mood.June 3, 2011 at 10:51 pm #1240193Tank GirlParticipant
I find loud music helps me
hope what ever it is is resolved, if not accepted if there is nothing you can do about it and move on, as spazz says, reevaluate when a bit calmer maybeJune 3, 2011 at 10:56 pm #1240195
If you want to chat mate hit me up via pm, I’ve been through (and still experience sometimes) major anger troubles. Check my post here.June 4, 2011 at 1:42 pm #1240202
Hope its all calmed down for you by now 🙂 and your back to your normal self . I find along walk away from every one lets me clear my head 🙂
MungoJune 4, 2011 at 2:08 pm #1240198
Feeling much calmer today, not totally there, but certainly not as bad as I was a couple of days ago. SpazHazzard, in you’re definitely not the only one, what you described in the post you linked is exactly how I feel. In company I’m often covering myself up, and not very well. I don’t have alot of self control, and more often than not end up doing something stupid. Afterwards I look at how I acted and just think “what a cunt”.June 4, 2011 at 2:13 pm #1240203
Hi Moonie ,
Good to hear your feeling calmer 🙂 , what sort of stupid things do you do or do you want to keep that out the thread ? .
MungoJune 4, 2011 at 2:18 pm #1240204
Hi Moonie ,
Shouldn’t have asked that !!! , no your sure your not just impulsive and act at the spur of the moment ?
MungoJune 4, 2011 at 2:18 pm #1240196
I know what you mean about feeling like a cunt, I smacked one of my best mates once because of a mild annoyance and the worst thing about was that I hadn’t even registered moving, so I couldn’t understand why everyone was shouting at me about it. Had absolutely no idea it was me that had hit him. That was when I realised I needed to get a serious handle on it or I’d be in major trouble.
It took me a long time to find out what works for me, it might just be you have to explore every possible option to understand how to control it. It could take a long time but once you get there it makes life a lot easier to deal with. I find that on occasion I still can’t control itand do lash out at things, thankfully just not people any more.June 4, 2011 at 2:21 pm #1240199
Generally being angry at whoever gets in the way, even if it’s not their fault, which leads to me shouting and yelling and generally being vile to people I care about, and if I see whoever has made me mad or someone else who might be pissing me off for some reason it ends up more often than not with me being dragged away from them because I’m going out of control. I get in way too many fights, for totally unjustified reasons.June 4, 2011 at 2:33 pm #1240200
See Spazhazzard that’s what I’m talking about, it’s like watching a film, or worse, not even knowing what you’ve done. over the last year I think I’ve got better, I’m no longer causing shit every time I get pissed off, I try to channel it into something else, but I’m still finding the best way to deal with it for me. I’ve tried a lot of state of mind things and a lot of methods of thinking etc., physical stuff seems to work better, and I know that hitting the pub in that mood is about the worst idea for me.June 4, 2011 at 2:44 pm #1240191General LightingModerator
it is actually very common at your age for young men. TBH (other than having a genuinely good and supportive family which made me unhappy to openly turn against them, plus my dad was very ill towards the end of his life so wasn’t really able to argue with me as much as he did when he was healthy) the only thing what didn’t make me like that in my wider society was simply “knowing the system” and begrudgingly accepting it because TBH I hadn’t done too badly in life.
I am not a big guy so if angry against a larger opponent would have had no problem with using weapons – or even taking a life – really it was only the thought in the back of my mind that going to prison or mental hospital is shit and boring compared to my normal life that has stopped me doing a lot of bad things.
Ironically a lot of folk feel that I am a very quiet and peaceful guy (which usually I am) and some other Asian dude I once worked with who is very religious thought I was some sort of Buddhist/Zen type person (!) but that was only because of learned maturity, good luck and life getting better from my 30s onwards.
As you get towards age 30 you calm down and are less impulsive. Men do not grow up emotionally until then. Also stimulants cause mood swings you have to beware of and for many people alcohol does not help. When I used to take them more often I’d try and deliberately compensate by trying to avoid conflict situations (particularly with family) as much as possible. Its difficult though when you live at home and can’t hide away for ever. Even then when I look back on the 90s there are some bits what frighten me when I think what I could have done but thought better of it at the last moment.
The trick is to try not to fuck up too often in the next 10 or so years, as it is true a few stupid impulsive acts can have wider negative consequences. from my “amateur criminologist” work, I read of so many incidents where its clear people who aren’t big time thugs or psychos have done stupid things and end up losing 10-20 years of their life (and much of their future prospects) because of it.June 4, 2011 at 3:18 pm #1240201
I’ve already got a pretty extensive record, none of it for anger related things though, I just don’t want one stupid decision whilst I’m fucked off about something to put me in the position you’re talking about. Basically it was around my 18th that I thought “I really need to sort myself out”, and have been trying since then to calm myself and be less impulsive in negative ways, rather than just letting it happen as I used to. I do drink way too much (something I am also addressing, hopefully it won’t be long before drink is not a problem for me), but I don’t really do class As or even weed that often now, I’m too busy working. (or drinking haha). I have come very fucking close a couple of times to being busted for stuff and I know I need to sort it out, the thought of prison is my main drive behind calming myself, because I do actually have a future ahead of me if I keep my nose out of shit.
In terms of stimulants causing problems etc., I honestly believe that big free partys etc all the time would seriously fuck me up, and I’m kind of thankful for the fact that the party scene I am involved in is 200 miles away, and I know essentially nothing about the partys around my area. To be honest I don’t really want to know about local parties, a) because I don’t think they’d be as good, but b) because it would just make my head worse doing that every weekendJune 4, 2011 at 3:26 pm #1240205
Hi Moonie ,
I guess by knowing you have a problem is a good start and kicking the booze or at least cutting it down might help , the drink can as you know highten your mood and if its bad already then it aint gonna get better !!!! . I hope you beat this and can control it , although anger is a normal emotion so you’ll always have it at times but just so long as you can control it and not do something you might regret !!! .
all the best mate
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