Forums The Vibe Chat so alone

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  • #1045215
    fishpaste
    Participant

    maybe its just the area i live in. all just townies and emo’s. the problem is im not a townie or emo :hopeless: everyone just laghes at my dress sense when i walk down the road :hopeless: i wish i lived in the 7o’s or something. harajuku’s got quite eclentric people in it. maybe i should move there but i cant speak japanese:cry: or im just being shallow. people dont need to look like me for me to be ok. i just wish i knew people i had more in common with. i love to experiment in fashion but my mates just wear trackies. bit alone is all. got pmt.

    #1177680
    quietRIOT
    Participant

    Hi honey…your not alone, big hug..x
    i too face similar kinda thing, none of my old freinds from my hometown are into clothes, the music im into,same outlook even.
    i’ve outgrew them, facing that was one of the tuffest fazes of my life…

    i stopped smoking all together, a couple of yrs ago, my so called mates stopped coming round to visit, …
    it was the hardest thing stopping smoking weed and realsing that these so called mates were only happy when i was in a rut with them…

    when i broke away, changed careers,got wed, met a good man you would have thought they would have been happy for me , but no, just jealous, cos it made them look at their lives, and little they had without changing themselves.

    I m stronger than that, ive been thru so much, and i did change, i used to hate my own company a few yrs ago, but its something i ve got used to over time, my family werent much help, my mother was a bitch to me, so i fuked all them off too, wish i d done it sooner…they were dragging me down , being negative…not sharing my dreams of a better life
    i know now that they are the ones with the problem…i dont need to change and when i did, it was for me, not them…
    We get one shot at life, the people we grow up with are not nessaserily the ones we will always hang with….be true to yourself and do what you want to do, if you want to make changes to feel better about yourself theres only you can do it …
    i moved away, end of last yr, i got the chance for a whole new start, it was scary but i did it, and you know it was the best thing i did , im a work in progress, i havent finished with me yet ha !… i want to live abroad and im sure i’ll get there…im on the UP
    Fuk anyone who looks at you twice, they are prob jealous cos they darent stand out from the norm ! and who wants to be norm,its sooo boring
    i live in a small town now and boy do they gawp at me when i walk down the street , but i just hold my head up….hehee
    i dont fit in round here, but its a step up to where i was living before, and im moving foreward living my life simple like i want it…
    Remember the greatest people of this earth,the genuis s, the ones who stood out in history, thought different, but didnt give a shit,they stood by what they felt to be right… take inspiration from them ….
    p.s

    pmt
    tell me about it girlfreind lol… and hey if you need to talk , im here pm me xx
    keep yer chin up…! xx

    #1177706
    fishpaste
    Participant

    thankyou april. dont mean to be such a misery guts. i suppose i just started the worlds most depressing thread lol! but its been playing on my mind for a while and i needed to get it off my chest:wink:

    #1177681
    quietRIOT
    Participant

    No its good that you started this thread and you say how you feel, its better than some threads ive read, about “oh my internet isnt working”” ! bollox…lol…

    Life is hard enough sometimes an if we feel we have noone who understand s it seems 100 times harder, i know, i done a lot of soul searching over this past couple of yrs…x

    #1177703
    xFadingObsessionx
    Participant

    Darling, you’ll never be alone! Like april said, if you ever need to talk, you can always PM me!
    But i know what it feels like. My dress/fashion sense, music taste, choices in life was completely different to all my friends… But I got a new job and made new friends .. friends who didn’t care about what music i was into, what i looked like, what clothes i wear … and we get along so much better then my old friends who i tried to change for… we never really had much in common anyway.. and me changing to try be mates with them, just made it worse. Just be yourself. You never know who you’re gonna meet soon! You may meet some fantastic people who share the same interests as you.

    :group_hug

    #1177707
    fishpaste
    Participant
    xFadingObsessionx;231208 wrote:
    Darling, you’ll never be alone! Like april said, if you ever need to talk, you can always PM me!
    But i know what it feels like. My dress/fashion sense, music taste, choices in life was completely different to all my friends… But I got a new job and made new friends .. friends who didn’t care about what music i was into, what i looked like, what clothes i wear … and we get along so much better then my old friends who i tried to change for… we never really had much in common anyway.. and me changing to try be mates with them, just made it worse. Just be yourself. You never know who you’re gonna meet soon! You may meet some fantastic people who share the same interests as you.

    :group_hug

    you never know! i supposose i feel im ina bit of a rut! wow i didnt know other people on here had simelar expirences!

    #1177682
    quietRIOT
    Participant

    well said sista..love the Red hair…

    #1177704
    xFadingObsessionx
    Participant
    felicityfairy;231209 wrote:
    you never know! i supposose i feel im ina bit of a rut! wow i didnt know other people on here had simelar expirences!

    Oh, I know how that feels babe, don’t worry! I thought i was all alone.. i thought it was like … just me who thinks the same way i do around where i live, but srsly,there are so many people who think the same as you.. you’ve just gotta find them.. waiting for them to find you might take ages. you never know what oppertunitys await you just around the corner.. you might meet people who’ll become friends for life somewhere where you least expect it! :group_hug

    april;231210 wrote:
    well said sista..love the Red hair…

    Haha, it’s actually pink.. looks red in my pic though.. theres a better pic! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    #1177690
    coastie
    Participant

    Yeah you should take pride in being a bit different from people that you dont really want to be like anyway and think are a bit boring! Perhaps in the longer term you could move somewhere else? Lifes just one big adventure, if somethings not working out, have the courage and inspiration and creativity to change it! Good luck. :group_hug

    #1177708
    fishpaste
    Participant
    phat-cunt;231356 wrote:
    Yeah you should take pride in being a bit different from people that you dont really want to be like anyway and think are a bit boring! Perhaps in the longer term you could move somewhere else? Lifes just one big adventure, if somethings not working out, have the courage and inspiration and creativity to change it! Good luck. :group_hug

    well said phat cunt. i do take pride in being how i am but it seems poinless when its not appreciated or shared if you know what i mean. i dont know why my bourough is filled with people i cant relate to. i know there are some amazing inpiring people out there but i cant go looking without a purpose can i! i realise i have plenty of time though. im not living on my own or anything. but i start a fashion design course in central london in september so maybe meeting people away from where i live and share an intrest with me will be a step forward. also when i finally get time off work im gonna party party party with the partyvibe clan lol!

    #1177678
    binge
    Participant

    Why are you waiting till September? If you’re unhappy go and do something fun!

    I agree with all of the guys above- it’s only when you start living the way you want to that you truly start living. I’ve had a very similar experience over the past few years, I think it’s something that happens when you spend a lot of time with people doing rugs…… after while you realise that it’s probably the only thing you have in common with them.

    The greatest day of my life was when I realised that I didn’t have to not do things because my friends didn’t want to. If no-one wants to come with you to see a band- fuck em, go anyway and meet loads of new people.

    I moved to south London a few months back, and fucking love it. I’m going to see bands, listening to whatever music I want to, and not really giving a fuck. It’s all about just getting out there.

    You’re lucky, at least you’re in London, try living in a small town in the middle of no-where, where a K-habit becomes a hobby.

    The sad thing is that since I moved, I’ve had phone calls from maybe 3 or 4 of my ‘mates’, but it’s their loss not mine.

    So what are you waiting for? You’re living in the greatest city in the world, with pretty much anything you could want to do on your door step, and you’re waiting till Sept for things to get better?

    There’s lots of us on here who’ve had very similar experiences- don’t worry, it gets better. The turning point is when you realsie you can do something about it.

    If you’re into books, here’s a few that have helped me:

    Seven Habits of Effective people- Stephen Covey
    How to make friends and influence people- Dale Carneige

    Or, failing that- stick on some music that you love, turn it right up and dance around! Here’s one that always cheers me up:

    [yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAZ_D2ebYbI&feature=related[/yt]

    #1177679
    binge
    Participant

    Er………… there should be a Youtube video there. Haven’t tried that before, but check these tunes out:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAZ_D2ebYbI&feature=related

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P52BLC1qIrg&feature=related

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiTkDO5Rdkw&feature=related

    Makes me happy anyway……………

    #1177689
    Tank Girl
    Participant

    I’ve had similar all my teen – adult life,
    I lost ‘friends’ when I was 14 as they sat me down and said I had to change the way I dressed or they didnt want to hang with me any more,
    I told em to go fuck em selves and didnt speak to them again as they wernt real friends anyway to say something like that and I dont want to speak to shallow people anyway – but it really hurt at the time

    I’ve calmed down alot in the way I dress / look as I’ve got older but retained my individuality,
    I’m 32 and senior at work and still get asked regularily if I’m the ‘student’ ๐Ÿ˜‰

    when I had pink hair I got started on several times, people shouting out of cars abuse at me and then I’d get little old ladies comming up to me saying they loved it – so its swings and roundabouts (I live in suburbia with a lot of narrow minded people)

    My bro is 40 and still pierced and tattooed up and wears skirts and stuff – so I guess it runs in the family!

    but dont let em get you down, have confidence in yourself and the way you are :bounce_fl

    #1177672
    Anonymous

    hey ya,

    sounds like you need to get outta there,know the feeling..i come from a small town in ireland,growing up i never wanted to fit in,so i didnt.
    no one slagged me to my face but always heard comments behind my back.just cuz i had long hair n piercings and dressed in black.lol

    i couldnt even get a job untill i cut my hair,it was so lame.ha i even used to get hit on in pubs by really drunk guys who thought i was a girl:you_crazy

    i felt out of place all the time but never conformed to short hair and trackies.asshats.

    anyway by the time i was 18 i just stopped giving a fuck.i started to take pride in being different.and just enjoyed it.ok i was kinda nuts back then.
    best ever was getting arrested for cycling around town on sat nite pissed and just about naked.on a little girls pink bike.cops chased me for about
    half an hour around town till i fell off laughing my ass off.

    theres loadsa stories about me like that small towns like to talk.i moved to london at 18 cuz i just had to get outta there,it was cool for awhile.
    i live in galway city at the mo its cool here.nice little city loads o cool people and music.

    just realised im talkin complete shite and boring you so ill shut up.
    but anyway i hope you never change.normal ppl are so boring.plz
    never change!enjoy being differentraaatake it easy bye

    #1177673
    General Lighting
    Moderator

    TBH I think this is happening to everyone from this sort of community, although it does seem that for youths London is actually becoming a lot more divided than provincial areas, all mixture of all that “gang / representing your ends” mentality and American “High school” culture creeping in…

    Ironically I did the exact opposite move to Binge, from London/SE England to East Anglia, and although life is way better here its a slightly different issue for me, there are “like minded people” in the region, and for all the tactical mistakes of Norfolk ravers they can be a diverse and friendly bunch at their best!

    I don’t have too many problems in the street or at work, I’m just a normal British Asian lad and although there are racist rednecks about they are still a minority…

    But I still feel isolated because of age – What I do find though is that round here people start really young with parties and then burn out/turn their back on them by their early 20s now – especially with the cops being a bit harsher nowadays..

    I still love raves but find it slightly unnerving that at the outdoor events I am very often one of the the oldest persons there, although I know a fair few of the older heads they’ve all settled down and had kids or understandably don’t want to take risks with cops etc. at illegal events, so I tend to go out less these days…

    incidentally if you live in West London, it may be worth checking out the SE England party scene around Reading/Oxford area as its still just about going…

    #1177709
    fishpaste
    Participant

    wow, thank everyone. its nice to hear all your stories, expiriences and advice.

    #1177700
    DaftFader
    Participant
    binge;231410 wrote:
    Er………… there should be a Youtube video there. Haven’t tried that before, but check these tunes out:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAZ_D2ebYbI&feature=related

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P52BLC1qIrg&feature=related

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiTkDO5Rdkw&feature=related

    Makes me happy anyway……………

    :love::love::love: + hug for felicity:group_hug

    #1177710
    fishpaste
    Participant
    DaftFader;231484 wrote:
    :love::love::love: + hug for felicity:group_hug

    thanks daft! big hug 4 evryone!:group_hug

    #1177674
    General Lighting
    Moderator

    Also if its any consolation it wasn’t better in the 70s/80s (I grew up then!) and those Japanese kids are only going to get 2-3 years of “freedom” to dress like that.

    The lucky ones are just going to end up sat behind desks or in labs at places like Toshiba, Sony and Panasonic doing 12-16 hour workdays to design our new laptops and MP3 players, and they will be back in normal suits rather than trying to dress like cartoon characters…

    The unlucky ones are gonna think they’ve made it big in movies, but only end up in cheap porno done by some sleazy 50 year old man, and then when it ends up online and their horrified parents find out and disown them they will end up getting into worse addictions/mental health issues and even gassing themselves with a portable barbecue in their bedsits – this is the side of Japanese / East Asian street/alternative culture they don’t often tell you about… (ironically its now more chilled out in South China anyway!)

    Yet here in England if you ignore the jealousy of your own agegroup you can in fact get away with being “different” for the rest of your life provided you are otherwise a decent person….

    #1177711
    fishpaste
    Participant

    i wish life was like skins where everyone mixes with different kinds of people. thats an ideal world for me

    #1177675
    General Lighting
    Moderator
    felicityfairy;231507 wrote:
    i wish life was like skins where everyone mixes with different kinds of people. thats an ideal world for me

    thats exactly what free parties used to be like (and TBH some still are at least outside London – although London’s crowd is mixed I’ve noticed the people from different nationalities now often stay in their own cliques (although it could just be language barriers too)

    for all its faults the East Anglian rave scene was very multicultural despite all the wider social pressures. I came here in 2006 thinking “bet I’m the only Asian at the stack” but no, there were people from all across the world at every party, more so than in SE England!

    Some crews just outside London are like that as well (well one particular one has to be as half their crew members are from Europe :wink:)

    I think you will find your college crowd fairly diverse and openminded (but it will also get fairly competitive when people start looking for contracts etc in later years)

    #1177712
    fishpaste
    Participant

    your very wisdomy arnt you general lighting?!:weee: i noticed that when i first pm’d you. i bet people always turn to uncle lightning for advice lol!!:wink:
    i havnt really been many free parties. maybe i should go to some more.

    #1177676
    General Lighting
    Moderator

    first time I’ve been called uncle on here, that must mean I am gettting old lol..

    most of this “wisdom” is only from experience of being a young Londoner in the 90s – people do sometimes ask me for advice but tends to be more about technical stuff these days, round here (East Anglia) a lot of people are stubborn and don’t want to hear the “bad news” which was a shame as had they listened to “our generation” (i.e me, Biotech etc) we’d still be having free parties where people got more than 2 hours and kept hold of their rigs…

    i’d be careful what sort of free parties you go to as some inner London ones are really sketchy and not all that enjoyable (unless you enjoy watching violent crime happen in front of your eyes) – but I’ve hinted where the better ones tend to be ๐Ÿ˜‰

    #1177713
    fishpaste
    Participant

    nah dont like violence at all if i’m honest, although alot of people i know think a partys not complete without a fight or too. thats not for me though, i prefer a relaxed enviroment where i know everyone is mixing and having a good time. not where everyones sceaming abusive drunken nonsence at eachother and broken noses flying around the place:yakk:. i am sure the majority of people on this sight feel that way.

    #1177691
    coastie
    Participant

    Your course sounds wicked, definate potential for meeting peeps too.

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Forums The Vibe Chat so alone