Séamus Attacked by a Tiger
On holiday, I was attacked by a tiger and I still have the marks to prove it.

Whilst cycling through a square in Zwolle, in the Netherlands, I was attacked by a tiger. A large, ferocious animal with orange fur and black stripes, big teeth and claws sort of tiger.

I’d just got off the train with no idea what to do next. As I was lazily riding through a square with what looked to be a fair off to one side I became aware of some sort of commotion, very excited voices and lots of shouting but thought nothing of it.

As I rode on I half noticed a sort of orangey blur out of the corner of my eye. The shouting grew more intense and I looked over to se what was going on and thought, “Oh look. There’s a tiger coming towards me.” Quickly followed by, “Don’t be stupid. There can’t possibly be a tiger coming towards me.” I looked again and was genuinely surprised to realise that there really was a tiger running towards me. Suddenly it stopped in an almost cartoon style way as though it had reached the full extention of a rope or chain and as it did so reached forward with it’s claws one of which caught me on the top of my right leg.

The pain was odd. It hurt a lot but not as much as I’d have ever imagined it would and I was off like a shot. Instant acceleration and wetted shorts. I didn’t stop until I had to stop for traffic lights at a busy crossroads at Kampen several miles up the road.

Later, after much beer and Genever, I realized that the tiger must have been on a chain or I’d have been torn apart.

The following morning the campsite owner asked if I’d been attacked by a tiger in Zwolle as he’d heard the story on the radio and I matched the description. There was some sort of reward/compensation going and the police wanted to talk to me about the attack.

I tried three times to ride back to Zwolle but always ended up going in the wrong direction. Eventually, after much wandering, I found myself safely into Lelystad