Forums The Vibe Chat kids allowed everything except the freedom to play outside …

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  • #1116751
    General Lighting
    Moderator
      Quote:
      having said that, i wouldn’t let young kids play in the street alone.. it’s just not very constructive apart from anything else PM

      I would say the real danger isn’t so much the risk of abduction by strangers (which existed back in the 1970s anyway and is still a rare occurence)

      A far greater risk IMO to an unsupervised kid from age 5-10 (particularly when cycling) would be that of being knocked down by a motor vehicle or being bullied/robbed/attacked by older children or teenagers, but children can be taught to avoid these areas where such risks are greater (provided they don’t live on a shitty estate where there are only roads and scum hang around in stairwells)

      we need to re-create safe spaces for younger kids where there is less traffic and “trusted” older people such as other parents can also help supervise them..

      #1137407
      General Lighting
      Moderator
        Quote:
        having said that, i wouldn’t let young kids play in the street alone.. it’s just not very constructive apart from anything else PM

        I would say the real danger isn’t so much the risk of abduction by strangers (which existed back in the 1970s anyway and is still a rare occurence)

        A far greater risk IMO to an unsupervised kid from age 5-10 (particularly when cycling) would be that of being knocked down by a motor vehicle or being bullied/robbed/attacked by older children or teenagers, but children can be taught to avoid these areas where such risks are greater (provided they don’t live on a shitty estate where there are only roads and scum hang around in stairwells)

        we need to re-create safe spaces for younger kids where there is less traffic and “trusted” older people such as other parents can also help supervise them..

        #1116768
        20-DAV-06
        Participant

          My Half Sister (Stays with my dad and step mum) i feel so sorry for her 😐 she is that overly protected,that when i go over there it makes me sick,she is four and stays in a new build barret homes,like teh quitiest places in the town,and she is only allowed in the back garden,as almost she isnt allowed friends,and they always demand that some is looking after her even if she is quitely playin downstairs or upstairs 24/7 she isnt allowed any space,and she is four,but she loves wen i cum up and she seems quite adult with me and we jus chill in the upstairs computer room and sumtimes i play partyvibe radio and she prefers it to elvis presly that my dad forces her to listen to cuz he is obcessed with him..he tryed it with me when i was little but it didnt work….cant wait till shes lyk 15 or 16 and i save her from the atrosity,and show her the way of parties drink and weed,the good life.

          so in my eyes…your being a decent parent april 🙂

          #1137425
          20-DAV-06
          Participant

            My Half Sister (Stays with my dad and step mum) i feel so sorry for her 😐 she is that overly protected,that when i go over there it makes me sick,she is four and stays in a new build barret homes,like teh quitiest places in the town,and she is only allowed in the back garden,as almost she isnt allowed friends,and they always demand that some is looking after her even if she is quitely playin downstairs or upstairs 24/7 she isnt allowed any space,and she is four,but she loves wen i cum up and she seems quite adult with me and we jus chill in the upstairs computer room and sumtimes i play partyvibe radio and she prefers it to elvis presly that my dad forces her to listen to cuz he is obcessed with him..he tryed it with me when i was little but it didnt work….cant wait till shes lyk 15 or 16 and i save her from the atrosity,and show her the way of parties drink and weed,the good life.

            so in my eyes…your being a decent parent april 🙂

            #1116757
            globalloon
            Participant
              General Lighting wrote:
              we need to re-create safe spaces for younger kids where there is less traffic and “trusted” older people such as other parents can also help supervise them..

              there’s just been a large lottery grant in this area for ‘play rangers’… qualified playworkers to wander around parks and streets where young children are playing, encouraging constructive, creative play, a bit like youth workers but for the under-11s

              wait and see how that works out, but i think it would help to give parents a break as well as making sure that children whose parents don’t really have the skills get some decent childhood experiences

              #1137414
              globalloon
              Participant
                General Lighting wrote:
                we need to re-create safe spaces for younger kids where there is less traffic and “trusted” older people such as other parents can also help supervise them..

                there’s just been a large lottery grant in this area for ‘play rangers’… qualified playworkers to wander around parks and streets where young children are playing, encouraging constructive, creative play, a bit like youth workers but for the under-11s

                wait and see how that works out, but i think it would help to give parents a break as well as making sure that children whose parents don’t really have the skills get some decent childhood experiences

                #1116763
                Raj
                Participant
                  globalloon wrote:
                  there’s just been a large lottery grant in this area for ‘play rangers’… qualified playworkers to wander around parks and streets where young children are playing, encouraging constructive, creative play, a bit like youth workers but for the under-11s

                  wait and see how that works out, but i think it would help to give parents a break as well as making sure that children whose parents don’t really have the skills get some decent childhood experiences

                  sounds like a fab idea :weee: and I was about to suggest something similar but with a large pool of parents taking turns to lurk and play with the kids on the streets 😉

                  #1137420
                  Raj
                  Participant
                    globalloon wrote:
                    there’s just been a large lottery grant in this area for ‘play rangers’… qualified playworkers to wander around parks and streets where young children are playing, encouraging constructive, creative play, a bit like youth workers but for the under-11s

                    wait and see how that works out, but i think it would help to give parents a break as well as making sure that children whose parents don’t really have the skills get some decent childhood experiences

                    sounds like a fab idea :weee: and I was about to suggest something similar but with a large pool of parents taking turns to lurk and play with the kids on the streets 😉

                    #1116758
                    globalloon
                    Participant
                      Raj wrote:
                      sounds like a fab idea :weee: and I was about to suggest something similar but with a large pool of parents taking turns to lurk and play with the kids on the streets 😉

                      i think that’s the idea situation, but where is falls down is in areas where it’s needed most… areas with higher numbers of people with poor parenting skills, or parents with little interest in their children

                      #1137415
                      globalloon
                      Participant
                        Raj wrote:
                        sounds like a fab idea :weee: and I was about to suggest something similar but with a large pool of parents taking turns to lurk and play with the kids on the streets 😉

                        i think that’s the idea situation, but where is falls down is in areas where it’s needed most… areas with higher numbers of people with poor parenting skills, or parents with little interest in their children

                        #1116764
                        Raj
                        Participant

                          I agree.

                          A slight tangent here but still on topic [well I think so] do they have poor parenting skills as their parents didnt have good skills or are there other problems beyond that?

                          #1137421
                          Raj
                          Participant

                            I agree.

                            A slight tangent here but still on topic [well I think so] do they have poor parenting skills as their parents didnt have good skills or are there other problems beyond that?

                            #1116752
                            General Lighting
                            Moderator
                              Raj wrote:
                              I agree.

                              A slight tangent here but still on topic [well I think so] do they have poor parenting skills as their parents didnt have good skills or are there other problems beyond that?

                              I think its a bit of both and also the sheer pressures of the market – apparently it now costs £130,000 to bring up a kid from age 0-5 (I suspect this is a rather middle class upbringing) and few parents (particularly lone parents) can easily afford it…

                              but I also fear that a lot of couples become parents without realising the wider implications and that both children and pet animals are now becoming fashion accessories and almost “disposable” commodities, and that some humans desire to care and nurture is less than many realise.

                              in previous days (from researching local history) it appears that before there was child benefit/housing lists loads of children/babies got abandoned or “disappeared” (although the workhouse system was used to ensure they didn’t all starve) and single mothers were regularly hanged (or transported overseas/committed to lunatic asylums) for infanticide…

                              #1137408
                              General Lighting
                              Moderator
                                Raj wrote:
                                I agree.

                                A slight tangent here but still on topic [well I think so] do they have poor parenting skills as their parents didnt have good skills or are there other problems beyond that?

                                I think its a bit of both and also the sheer pressures of the market – apparently it now costs £130,000 to bring up a kid from age 0-5 (I suspect this is a rather middle class upbringing) and few parents (particularly lone parents) can easily afford it…

                                but I also fear that a lot of couples become parents without realising the wider implications and that both children and pet animals are now becoming fashion accessories and almost “disposable” commodities, and that some humans desire to care and nurture is less than many realise.

                                in previous days (from researching local history) it appears that before there was child benefit/housing lists loads of children/babies got abandoned or “disappeared” (although the workhouse system was used to ensure they didn’t all starve) and single mothers were regularly hanged (or transported overseas/committed to lunatic asylums) for infanticide…

                                #1116765
                                Raj
                                Participant
                                  General Lighting wrote:
                                  I think its a bit of both and also the sheer pressures of the market – apparently it now costs £130,000 to bring up a kid from age 0-5 (I suspect this is a rather middle class upbringing) and few parents (particularly lone parents) can easily afford it…

                                  :crazy::crazy: thats a very large number – what are they spending the money on?

                                  Quote:
                                  but I also fear that a lot of couples become parents without realising the wider implications and that both children and pet animals are now becoming fashion accessories and almost “disposable” commodities, and that some humans desire to care and nurture is less than many realise.

                                  :you_crazy:you_crazy
                                  pets and children are a lifelong commitment not a fashion statement :you_crazy thats just nuts

                                  #1137422
                                  Raj
                                  Participant
                                    General Lighting wrote:
                                    I think its a bit of both and also the sheer pressures of the market – apparently it now costs £130,000 to bring up a kid from age 0-5 (I suspect this is a rather middle class upbringing) and few parents (particularly lone parents) can easily afford it…

                                    :crazy::crazy: thats a very large number – what are they spending the money on?

                                    Quote:
                                    but I also fear that a lot of couples become parents without realising the wider implications and that both children and pet animals are now becoming fashion accessories and almost “disposable” commodities, and that some humans desire to care and nurture is less than many realise.

                                    :you_crazy:you_crazy
                                    pets and children are a lifelong commitment not a fashion statement :you_crazy thats just nuts

                                    #1116753
                                    General Lighting
                                    Moderator
                                      Raj wrote:
                                      :crazy::crazy: thats a very large number – what are they spending the money on?

                                      I wasn’t sure about this figure (and may have got the age range a bit mixed up, possibly was 0-11 years) but I’ve seen this sort of figure quoted a few times – mostly by the “liberal” journos who write for the Grauniad/Auntie etc

                                      I suspect its all those bling prams with proper pneumatic tyres on them and nannies/pre-school fees, doing up the house for the “baby’s room” and looking at London prices for everything..

                                      #1137409
                                      General Lighting
                                      Moderator
                                        Raj wrote:
                                        :crazy::crazy: thats a very large number – what are they spending the money on?

                                        I wasn’t sure about this figure (and may have got the age range a bit mixed up, possibly was 0-11 years) but I’ve seen this sort of figure quoted a few times – mostly by the “liberal” journos who write for the Grauniad/Auntie etc

                                        I suspect its all those bling prams with proper pneumatic tyres on them and nannies/pre-school fees, doing up the house for the “baby’s room” and looking at London prices for everything..

                                        #1116773
                                        Playground Politics
                                        Participant

                                          the government allows 50£ per week for 11 years, but thats a ruff figure

                                          #1137430
                                          Playground Politics
                                          Participant

                                            the government allows 50£ per week for 11 years, but thats a ruff figure

                                            #1116754
                                            General Lighting
                                            Moderator
                                              #1137410
                                              General Lighting
                                              Moderator
                                                #1116755
                                                funkyfoo
                                                Participant

                                                  i understand where your coming from but sometimes you just gotta put faith in it all and let her live, peace of mind isnt part of the deal when being unforunately.

                                                  im not sure of her age but my daughter is 9 and i do worry like mad about her but she’s at the age where she wants to be out with her mates. TBH im pretty lax because i feel to much guilt if i restrict her too much but also fully understand the dangers that could arise. again fortunately i live in an area that reasonbly safe as i been bought up and grew up in the area i live, i recently purchased a house and out of all the houses i looked at i bought the one that was in my local area. the reason:for my daughters sake, moving out out of this area only means towards the city and not away from it, leaving me only able to buy a house in the area i already live. i feel as safe here as i/we will ever feeel in the society that we now live. i want my daughter to have a free life exactly how i did, i dont think its any more dangerous for children NOW, as it was in the 70’s/80’s when i was growing up. the fear factor laid into us – is whats making us worry more(the americanisation of the world) and not wanting us to allow our kids their freedom. look at youth now in response to lack of local amenities available to them, id be pissed off if i was them, hence the rave revolution, gave the kids something totally positive to get involved in and take part and to be felt accepted by all present. its us getting old and worrying.

                                                  on another note from someone i know very well who has -as they say ‘protected their children from harm by not letting them out their site.’ is mnow having repurcussions in the fact that this persons children are now rebelling and wanting out of the regime that their in. this in mind i have an amazing relationship with my daughter and she tells me things sha cant say to her mother. she knows she can be open with me no matter what the question is, having this kind of relationship in my eyes is incredibly important and shows trust both ways with parent and child.

                                                  i not telling you how to bring up your kids im just giving a the point of view of myself in the position your in as a parent.

                                                  good luck whatever your choices as you clearly only want good for your child.

                                                  #1137412
                                                  funkyfoo
                                                  Participant

                                                    i understand where your coming from but sometimes you just gotta put faith in it all and let her live, peace of mind isnt part of the deal when being unforunately.

                                                    im not sure of her age but my daughter is 9 and i do worry like mad about her but she’s at the age where she wants to be out with her mates. TBH im pretty lax because i feel to much guilt if i restrict her too much but also fully understand the dangers that could arise. again fortunately i live in an area that reasonbly safe as i been bought up and grew up in the area i live, i recently purchased a house and out of all the houses i looked at i bought the one that was in my local area. the reason:for my daughters sake, moving out out of this area only means towards the city and not away from it, leaving me only able to buy a house in the area i already live. i feel as safe here as i/we will ever feeel in the society that we now live. i want my daughter to have a free life exactly how i did, i dont think its any more dangerous for children NOW, as it was in the 70’s/80’s when i was growing up. the fear factor laid into us – is whats making us worry more(the americanisation of the world) and not wanting us to allow our kids their freedom. look at youth now in response to lack of local amenities available to them, id be pissed off if i was them, hence the rave revolution, gave the kids something totally positive to get involved in and take part and to be felt accepted by all present. its us getting old and worrying.

                                                    on another note from someone i know very well who has -as they say ‘protected their children from harm by not letting them out their site.’ is mnow having repurcussions in the fact that this persons children are now rebelling and wanting out of the regime that their in. this in mind i have an amazing relationship with my daughter and she tells me things sha cant say to her mother. she knows she can be open with me no matter what the question is, having this kind of relationship in my eyes is incredibly important and shows trust both ways with parent and child.

                                                    i not telling you how to bring up your kids im just giving a the point of view of myself in the position your in as a parent.

                                                    good luck whatever your choices as you clearly only want good for your child.

                                                    #1116774
                                                    bdr
                                                    Participant

                                                      theres a little girl who plays outside my new house, she is a brat and i wish her parents where more like you

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                                                    Forums The Vibe Chat kids allowed everything except the freedom to play outside …