Okay, so having been tipped off a few weeks ago that I may be police, I went to the local cop shop to see if it was true & to my surprise, when I walked in, I was greeted with a cheery ‘Hello Sarge!’ Well, fuck me, only turns out I am police after all, I never even woulda guessed it! So, anyway, now that I knew I was police, I was gonna follow myself about for a bit, cuz I know me & I knew there was a strong chance that I was gonna buy some drugs at some point in time – and as soon as I did, I’d spring up out of nowhere & nick me, that’ll fuckin’ teach me! Trouble is, I forgot what a slippery cunt I can be & I resisted arrest, pushed myself over & ran like fuck in the general direction of away! It’s cool though, I know what I look like now, I never forget a face. I’ll get me soon enough, don’t you worry!