Forums The Vibe Chat What’s the Worst Smell You’ve Ever Smelled? MAKE IT EVOCATIVE. Re: What’s the Worst Smell You’ve Ever Smelled? MAKE IT EVOCATIVE.

The Psyentist

    Vomit ranks up there pretty highly, as does the sluice that GL mentioned. But as a former health care professional myself (I used to support adults with moderate-severe autism and other accompanying mental health issues i.e. epilepsy, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, depression etc.), the most disgusting vomit inducing story I have to tell is this…..

    There was one guy who lived in the facility who ‘probed’ and ‘smeared’, basically meaning he enjoyed manually evacuating his bowels rather than the usual way, and then spreading his faeces over whatever surface his hands touched. Thankfully I rarely had to support this individual and when I did he generally behaved himself other than the odd tantrum. That’s a 6’4″ 21 stone, nearly 300lb tantrum. I weigh roughly 140lb lol. Anyway one day he was, how do I put this… a disgusting fucking cunt!

    Due to his nasty habit it was necessary to support him by instructing him what to do, or not to do with his hands when he was using the toilet. I was alone with 3 service users in the building, my colleague was running late. One service user distracted me by threatening to stab me because I’d asked him to have a shower. This left our other friend to take himself to the toilet. It took me about 5 minutes to calm down Mr Stabby but once he was in the shower I immediately had an instinctual feeling Mr Probe was up to no good. I went to his bedroom and knocked on the door, no answer. I hesitantly opened the door and announced my presence, still no answer; however I could hear a faint yet very distinct manic giggle coming from his bathroom, “bollocks” I thought to myself. I approached the bathroom door, the laughter getting louder. Knowing (or at least having a vague idea) of what I was about to walk into I took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door. Quite frankly the pre-emptive deep breath was futile, as the sight of the naked ginger behemoth bent over wrist deep in himself, with shit all over himself and the walls was more than enough to make me gasp. And that gasp is one of the biggest regrets of my life. The stench that flooded my lungs was about as pleasant as walking in on your partner cheating on you with your best friend, then standing on a plug as you go to punch them, then stumbling backwards stepping on a piece of Lego. Vomit instantly filled my mouth, I held it for a second, quickly remembered the shit everywhere, so thought fuck it. I projectile vomited all over the floor and a bit on the ceiling. Actually I take back what I said before about the gasp being my biggest regret. The vomiting is a bigger regret because it shocked Mr Probe into abruptly removing his fist from his arse. I did not witness this as I was bent over heaving, but the sound of what I can only describe as suction caused me to spew again. By this point literally every dimension of the room had some form of bodily fluid on it. Spent a good 4 hours of my 8 hour shift cleaning that bathroom of shit and vomit.

    I really miss that job sometimes.

    Hope that’s evocative (and long) enough for you.