Think I’ve posted this before for some reason in another thread but I once witnessed a dodgy wild/feral looking guy on a bmx, (and drugs or just pure craziness I assume), cycle past me with a rucksack clutched in one hand. If it wasn’t for the fact he had a a very shifty but determined look in his eyes I probably wouldn’t have even really registered his passing. Anyway he looked like he was experiencing a personal espionage mission.

He barely got beyond me before abruptly bailing the bike and hopping a fence before scurrying towards a pond. What I witnessed next blew my mind beyond which any logical explanation other than madness could provide adequate comprehension. He knelt by the pond and lowered the rucksack to the waters edge as if returning a fish to it’s natural habitat, opened the zip and four or five seagulls came squawking out in a flurry of feathers, noise and shit. The guy calmly observed the birds liberating ascent into the sky before jumping back on his bike and casually cycling off, to capture a cluster of hedgehogs for his holdall maybe???