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| Spirituality, Morality & Religion There is no spoon! |
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#1
05-09-2008, 04:24 AM
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Welcome to The Church Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster if you havent ever heard of it then look up or buy the book, The Gospel Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
We do offer a thirty day guarantee. If you are not completely satisfied, certainly your old religion will take you back. Here are our 8 I'd really rather you didn'ts! 1. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like A Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject. 2. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don't Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People. 3. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This Through You Thick Heads: Woman=Person, Man=Person. Samey-Samey. One is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal And Fuchsia. 4. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off The TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change. 5. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******. 6. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build multi million-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/ Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick): A. Ending Poverty B. Curing Diseases C. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable. I Might Be A Complex Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator. 7. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go around Telling People I Talk To you. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint? 8. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses Alot Of Leather/Lubrication/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear A CONDOM! Honestly It's A Piece Of Rubber, If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something. Pirates are the way forward!! and grog! Bobby Henderson is our prophet !! he knows all about his noodly appendages! Ramen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --- PROJECT WORSE!!
Last edited by Dr Bunsen; 17-12-2008 at 09:39 PM.. 
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#3
05-09-2008, 08:49 AM
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I Believe!
--- BRILLIANT MADNESS  "Let me respectfully remind you, life and death are of supreme importance. Time swiftly passes by... and opportunity is lost. Each of us should strive to awaken. Awaken. Take heed! Do not squander your life". Evening Gatha, Zen Mountain Monastery
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#4
05-09-2008, 12:48 PM
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haha ..and lol at your sig as well :D
--- "we all have problems, it's how we deal with them that defines who we are!" "People must begin to help one and other - we must begin to care!" "You're scared of mice and spiders, but oh-so-much greater is your fear that one day the two species will cross-breed to form an all-powerful race of mice-spiders who will immobilize human beings in giant webs in order to steal cheese" Messing around with all theese chemical rushes .. when natural highs come a whole lot cheeper!
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#6
06-09-2008, 12:02 PM
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---
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#10
23-07-2009, 12:04 PM
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I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE AND FAITH TO THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER.
AMEN. --- The great masses of the people will more easily fall victim to a big lie than to a small one.
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#12
23-07-2009, 12:45 PM
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yes sir
RAMEN
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#13
23-07-2009, 12:45 PM
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 men?
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#15
23-07-2009, 12:56 PM
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#18
09-11-2009, 11:19 AM
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Russell's Teapot
If I were to suggest that between the Earth and Mars there is a china teapot revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit, nobody would be able to disprove my assertion provided I were careful to add that the teapot is too small to be revealed even by our most powerful telescopes. But if I were to go on to say that, since my assertion cannot be disproved, it is an intolerable presumption on the part of human reason to doubt it, I should rightly be thought to be talking nonsense. If, however, the existence of such a teapot were affirmed in ancient books, taught as the sacred truth every Sunday, and instilled into the minds of children at school, hesitation to believe in its existence would become a mark of eccentricity and entitle the doubter to the attentions of the psychiatrist in an enlightened age or of the Inquisitor in an earlier time. Bertrand Russell (1872–1970)
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#19
19-11-2009, 11:17 PM
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ineed to be blap-tized
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#20
19-11-2009, 11:21 PM
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Quote:
  My New Church
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#21
19-11-2009, 11:23 PM
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ha!
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#23
19-11-2009, 11:33 PM
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Serve our lord denke
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#25
20-11-2009, 12:01 AM
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too foockin riight loove!
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