Social Interaction Primary Pleasure

[1984]

Who here would say that social interaction is their primary pleasure in life? eg down the pub, with family, rave, whatever?

Or at least, its highly highly significant?

[tarifa]

people r cool

but alone time is great too

or am i just getting old?:wink:

[1984]

people r cool

but alone time is great too

or am i just getting old?:wink:

but is it a large part of the pleasure you experience, I mean, if you never socialised say apart from with your partner, could that be enough?

[DaftFader]

i'm like tar ... i like socialising sometimes .. sometimes i not in the mood and just wanna chill on my own .. i think a balance is needed .. just like with everything .. i know people who are allways doing stuff with other people .. and they allways moaning cos they too busy ... and need some time to them selvs ...

[tarifa]

but is it a large part of the pleasure you experience, I mean, if you never socialised say apart from with your partner, could that be enough?

no wouldnt be enough, very happy with him and its sometimes tempting not to go out but if i couldn't it would drive me spare in the end

job very social tho, makes a difference

how bout you?

[1984]

i'm like tar ... i like socialising sometimes .. sometimes i not in the mood and just wanna chill on my own .. i think a balance is needed .. just like with everything .. i know people who are allways doing stuff with other people .. and they allways moaning cos they too busy ... and need some time to them selvs ...

average month how often would you socialise in some way with mates/family and enjoy it? if you don't mind me askin

[1984]

no wouldnt be enough, very happy with him and its sometimes tempting not to go out but if i couldn't it would drive me spare in the end

job very social tho, makes a difference

how bout you?

I have virtually no social interaction with people other than my partner any more, maybe once a month. I am far from happy, but when I do socialise, I just find the small talk and the banter want my to rip my IQ out and burn it. I dont really enjoy it.

I feel like social interaction is a skill I have lost but without it and with the depression on top life really is not really worth being around for.

[DaftFader]

average month how often would you socialise in some way with mates/family and enjoy it? if you don't mind me askin
well family not so much .. mum and dad i see most days tho ... even if only for an hour or so ... friends i'll see most weekends ... best mate at least once a fortnight .. mostly more tho .. will go out with a group of old school friends every 2 weeks .. mby every month ... i would like to get out a bit more but am allways too happy to be indoors after work .. just enjoy the ability to just do what i want .. even if it's nothing lol

[tarifa]

I have virtually no social interaction with people other than my partner any more, maybe once a month. I am far from happy, but when I do socialise, I just find the small talk and the banter want my to rip my IQ out and burn it. I dont really enjoy it.

I feel like social interaction is a skill I have lost but without it and with the depression on top life really is not really worth being around for.

very few people are worth bein around, work mates are that work-mates, i tend not to go on work nights. depression makes things harder for sure.

good friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, impossible to forget (trite but true)

might not be you, social interaction is difficult an can be well tedious with un-like-minded people, trivial, boring etc best to take it with a pinch of salt when u have to do it, treat it lightly

[1984]

very few people are worth bein around, work mates are that work-mates, i tend not to go on work nights. depression makes things harder for sure.

good friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, impossible to forget (trite but true)

might not be you, social interaction is difficult an can be well tedious with un-like-minded people, trivial, boring etc best to take it with a pinch of salt when u have to do it, treat it lightly

I threw away every good friend I had really, but then looking back I have no idea if they were good or not. I think I have just become bitter and twisted and full of hate.

Life is hell without people, Life is hell with people. Life is hell is perhaps the most logical conclusion. Perhaps I should be a budist, existence is suffering and all that.

[1984]

well family not so much .. mum and dad i see most days tho ... even if only for an hour or so ... friends i'll see most weekends ... best mate at least once a fortnight .. mostly more tho .. will go out with a group of old school friends every 2 weeks .. mby every month ... i would like to get out a bit more but am allways too happy to be indoors after work .. just enjoy the ability to just do what i want .. even if it's nothing lol

wow I cant imagine seeing my parents daily, I see them once every 2 weeks and I hate it. Very jealous in a way, seems much more healthy. Sounds like you have a well balanced life socially speaking, now I just need to work out if thats what I need lol .

[DaftFader]

wow I cant imagine seeing my parents daily, I see them once every 2 weeks and I hate it. Very jealous in a way, seems much more healthy. Sounds like you have a well balanced life socially speaking, now I just need to work out if thats what I need lol .
well i live with with them so don't have much choise in the matter :laugh_at:... after quiting college and moving back home .. and then having to move back in again after a house share went tits up .. has kinda left me stuck here for a while with all my outgoings and the rediculas prises for renting rooms around london (where my work is) untill i pay my loan off i can't really turn my life upside down too much .. espesh with the possability of landing an unstable job if i decide to move somewhere else and change jobs ... i really can't afford the risk atm .. :yakk: but once my loans all done and dusted with .. i may move to a nice quite place in the hills somewhere and steal sheep from local farmes to survive :laugh_at:

[1984]

dusted with .. i may move to a nice quite place in the hills somewhere and steal sheep from local farmes to survive :laugh_at:

sounds like a plan, can you survive off just lamb? breakfast would be a bit rubbish

[tarifa]

I threw away every good friend I had really, but then looking back I have no idea if they were good or not. I think I have just become bitter and twisted and full of hate.

Life is hell without people, Life is hell with people. Life is hell is perhaps the most logical conclusion. Perhaps I should be a budist, existence is suffering and all that.

Arguably true, but its also arguable that life is full of good shit too, depends where you are looking

[1984]

Arguably true, but its also arguable that life is full of good shit too, depends where you are looking

you dont happen to have a map on your person do you?

[tarifa]

you dont happen to have a map on your person do you?

i've got my own, drew it myself, not perfected yet

you'd probably take one look and call me a daft hippy

but i kinda like my take on things, most days

[1984]

i've got my own, drew it myself, not perfected yet

you'd probably take one look and call me a daft hippy

but i kinda like my take on things, most days

damn

[tarifa]

damn

:wink: sorry

way i figure it, i gotta try an see the good stuff, or world's just too dark to deal with, been there, its hell to get out of

so i have to focus on the good, try an make some too, s'waht makes my job worth doing, even if i'm in a bad mood i'm still adding a little to the positive side of the scale

[1984]

:wink: sorry

way i figure it, i gotta try an see the good stuff, or world's just too dark to deal with, been there, its hell to get out of

so i have to focus on the good, try an make some too

I guess that's the problem with depression, there isn't any good to see, or at least depression clouds the good so you cannot see it. But then depression also takes away all the good, so your left with nothing in the end anyway.

[tarifa]

I guess that's the problem with depression, there isn't any good to see, or at least depression clouds the good so you cannot see it. But then depression also takes away all the good, so your left with nothing in the end anyway.

yes :group_hug

but there is good even when we cant see it.

every day unrecognised and unumbered people do selfless and great things (big and little) for other people, not out of duty but because there are tonnes and tonnes of wonderful fantastic people out there.

agreed there are a load of c***s out there too but the good are just as important and valid as them, even more so in my opinion

[General Lighting]

To be fair I find social occasions a absolute fucking nightmare these days unless I'm under the influence and even then I'm a bit wary - seen too many false people and in some cases too many unstable/violent folks to let my guard down too much

it doesn't make me a complete hermit though

I go through stages of being solitary and then socialising loads, ironically for a shy person it often ends up that several groups of people are asking for my company all at the same time!

[joshd96320]

oioi, to me its important, one of the most important tingz, but social interaction with myself is also important, i dont like being CONSTANTLY talked to, need time to myself to think / listen to music / just chill ( im a very chill person ). But you gotta love a beer with ya mates in the sun and similar activities :weee:

i try not to decide whether i like or dislike somebody, or people in general. i just brum along. i dont focus on that, its bound to bring bad things. what you think of people is an emotion obviously, and i think emotion is an evolutionary advantage as much as something such as ears and thumbs are. So.. just learn to manipulate it, your outlook on the world is a product of your emotion so i just say everything is happy... and it almost is, and if your in a happy state of mind, A, you are noticing happy things more, and B, you are more capable of happy things. Obviously happy is as much an emotion as is sad, but, happy feels nicer and you are more capable. your more likely to drop a sick mix :wink:

love your darling joshuaaaaa

[TheLostOnes]

I find if you look and think too deep, about people, who they are etc it makes socialising painful, specially if you are quite self concious. I think that if you are always around people doing stuff, there is no need to think about it, just get on with it, but it is different for people who hardly socialise, to then start socialising.

[joshd96320]

I find if you look and think too deep, about people, who they are etc it makes socialising painful, specially if you are quite self concious. I think that if you are always around people doing stuff, there is no need to think about it, just get on with it, but it is different for people who hardly socialise, to then start socialising.

kinda wot i was gettin @ but i waffle

[Tank Girl]

but is it a large part of the pleasure you experience, I mean, if you never socialised say apart from with your partner, could that be enough?

The difference for me is choice and freedom to make this choice,

if I choose to stay in with my partner alone for a few days this is wonderful and I am completely happy and content, if I were forced to or had no outside interests or social outlet myself - I would find it totally consuming and suffocating



I have virtually no social interaction with people other than my partner any more, maybe once a month. I am far from happy, but when I do socialise, I just find the small talk and the banter want my to rip my IQ out and burn it. I dont really enjoy it.

I feel like social interaction is a skill I have lost but without it and with the depression on top life really is not really worth being around for.

If you have no social outlet - you have to make it yourself -

I realised that my socail and personal interests had wained, and I joined an adult ed art class, I joined the local gym (and had to totally force myself intially to go) I started going out, got back into the party scene, back into my interest in the world at large and meeting new friends (unfortunatley daft was one :laugh_at:) and making sure I maintained contact with my 'regular' friends rather than waiting for them to contact me,

I'd say if you are finding small talk and social banter difficult maybe you need to try and find friends with similar interests to you who you can have deep and meaningful converstaions with and share an emotional bond with -

saying this - however if you are depressed this is very difficult to do, and you need the motivation to be able to go out and do this and some form of confidence or a good 'mask', but some times you need to bite the bullet and give it a go

I threw away every good friend I had really, but then looking back I have no idea if they were good or not. I think I have just become bitter and twisted and full of hate.

Life is hell without people, Life is hell with people. Life is hell is perhaps the most logical conclusion. Perhaps I should be a budist, existence is suffering and all that.

If you cant work out whether they were really good friends

- I'd guess go with your instincts, did they stick by you, support you? offer support - whether wanted or not? as friendship is not one way - it is two way - and if one of my propper mates dropped contact with me - I'd try and find out why, whether I'd done some thing wrong / whether they were ill or needed help or time out etc,

and life can be hell, and life can be good -

without negatives you dont know what possitives are in my opinion -

and i'd rather that then be numb and just exist -


even after the shit and difficulties I have had this year - it has been the good advice and love, support and dancing -I have had that has helped keep me sane.... (well.... that is debateable but you know what I mean :laugh_at:)

it really is a balancing act sometimes

good luck :group_hug

[Tank Girl]

Right heres the babble as I'm not good as expressing what I want in a few words: hope it makes sense


another thing that I used to find really difficult was thinking about what others thought about me -
which made me very shy and unfortunatley come across as arogant to some,

I now think what I would do is often judge people and therefore think they thought like me and were judging me -

this isnt always the case I now know -

I began to be more open minded, and began to not worry about what other people - who I didnt even know and in some times didnt want to know- thought about me -

and begun to enjoy things alot more when I stopped trying to annalyse things / how I came across / what people thought about me etc, and just went out to have fun (and also that I'm not really that important)

fun is meant to be light hearted and welll.... fun :bounce_fl

[1984]

I realised that my socail and personal interests had wained, and I joined an adult ed art class, I joined the local gym (and had to totally force myself intially to go) I started going out, got back into the party scene, back into my interest in the world at large and meeting new friends (unfortunatley daft was one :laugh_at:) and making sure I maintained contact with my 'regular' friends rather than waiting for them to contact me,

I'd say if you are finding small talk and social banter difficult maybe you need to try and find friends with similar interests to you who you can have deep and meaningful converstaions with and share an emotional bond with -

saying this - however if you are depressed this is very difficult to do, and you need the motivation to be able to go out and do this and some form of confidence or a good 'mask', but some times you need to bite the bullet and give it a go



Thanks Tank Girl that's really useful, I think the point about depression is a good one. I just want to be "normal" so much I guess and not let it hold me back I just try and ignore it. And then wonder why I don't interact and feel like a lot of other people seem to.

I think it will be small steps and a lot of work and hopefully in a years time I will be in a far better place. :)

[1984]

Right heres the babble as I'm not good as expressing what I want in a few words: hope it makes sense


another thing that I used to find really difficult was thinking about what others thought about me -
which made me very shy and unfortunatley come across as arogant to some,

I now think what I would do is often judge people and therefore think they thought like me and were judging me -

this isnt always the case I now know -

I began to be more open minded, and began to not worry about what other people - who I didnt even know and in some times didnt want to know- thought about me -

and begun to enjoy things alot more when I stopped trying to annalyse things / how I came across / what people thought about me etc, and just went out to have fun (and also that I'm not really that important)

fun is meant to be light hearted and welll.... fun :bounce_fl
I understand and relate to what you are saying (guess who had therapy the other day lol). Not being judgmental and not assuming everyone else is constantly judging me is something I REALLY REALLY need to work on.

[Tank Girl]

I just want to be "normal" so much I guess

dont forget we all wear masks!!!

either at home, at work, at school / college, with different social circles etc

and underneath these masks are often shy, quiet and vulnerable people who are desperatley trying to be liked, wanted, needed and loved


and self awareness is brilliant but sometimes these masks are needed to protect yourself in some situations too.....



must go to bed now ttfn :group_hug

[PhilKmorgan]

Wow TG you should charge a fee..

[PhilKmorgan]

dont forget we all wear masks!!!

either at home, at work, at school / college, with different social circles etc

and underneath these masks are often shy, quiet and vulnerable people who are desperatley trying to be liked, wanted, needed and loved


and self awareness is brilliant but sometimes these masks are needed to protect yourself in some situations too.....



must go to bed now ttfn :group_hug


This is really spot on..

[PhilKmorgan]

Dont go to bed yet

[1984]

dont forget we all wear masks!!!



Isn't that from Batman? ;)

very true all of that *nods*

[PhilKmorgan]

Whats the old saying, something like being 2 faced (or even n-faced) is a practical necessity....

Reminds me of The Salton Sea