Alcoholism

[Digital-A]

ey'o

ive been a member of this site for quite a while, and to be honest its 4.50am and i just need to vent, but i always have thought that writing stuff up on here has helped me process things ..

When i lived in the south i fucked up, thats all in the past, my problem is ive moved to nottingham after a string of events ive drank solidly for 2 weeks, any genius can see thats not good. im not a student who enjoys their overdraft a little too much but a person who works a 40 hour week and is struggling, its starting to infringe on my life, my work and worst of all my music .. all again. i just wanted to ask anybody on the forum if they have ever, currently are going through the same thing any advice would be well appreciated. Again, ill be honest comments 'itll be ok' will register and thanks for the support but i need something more .. sorry that sounded like im blowing my own horn there it is really not intentional :)

always truly, Tom/digitalbits

[Angel]

Hey Tom :group_hug

Would like to say things will be alright :wink:

Think we all go through period of our life where things go wrong, you have had a hard time in the south and moved away from it, now you unfortunately have swapped 1 addiction to another and it's so much easier because it's legal.

You should ask yourself, do I really want to waste my life on this shit. Answer is easy , of course you don't, your life's worth too much for you and the people around you, and you're a really nice guy, and I fucking need you on the radio :group_hug :wink:


If you could get out of 1 addiction, you can get out of this, you're much stronger than you think :wink:
Please take care of yourself because in the end you're the only one who can actually do that

Lots of love :love:

[DIONYSUS]

alright Tom,
like angel said if you can stop what you were doing down south then you should easily be able to get control of your drinking now. All you've got to do is make that decision that you dont want to do what you are doing now or feel the way you are feeling. posting on here is a good start as it gets stuff out in the open so you can deal with it rather than bottling it up. Ive posted on here when i was feeling down and felt like my life was getting a bit out of control and talking about it helped me gain a lot of perspective. recognising the negative effects drinking or drugs or whatever is having on your life is the hardest bit i reckon. Once you realise that all you've got do now is either get control of it or stop doing it until you feel more in control.
Just read that back and it sounds a bit like im making light of your problem. im not. its hard making the decision to stop, but once you've done that it gets easier and easier by the day...
:love: :group_hug:

[Digital-A]

thank you for your words Angel they truly mean a lot, the just 'registering' comment didnt seem to be true :) x

.. booze and I have been very good friends for such a long time that this last stint is really making me see what damage im doing yet when i come home committed to not going to the local shop, ill try and put it off and in the end i start shaking, getting irritable and loose it darting up there with money i dont have. Im thinking about going and seeking medical help yet the last time i went because of it being young they dont take you seriously at all and say 'come back in a week' .. defiantly something to consider though .. ive been drinking so much longer than i have neighneighpowder that this seems like a mountain, my last doctor said i would have to consider the possibility of never drinking again, when he said that i dunno whether it was the booze demon in my head saying 'fuck that' or me. I no im not moving again and if i do its not to escape another problem, i just need some methods to get past the craving, has anybody had a drink problem or anything else where they have had methods to get past the shakes?

any help or suggestions greatly appreciated, Tom :)

@ Angel .. since moving to notts a lot has happened with D.a, its gone from a one man dj thing to a two man live thing. We are really busy getting the set for SE1 in a couple of weeks together as ive never looked at Ableton before now .. i had a chat with the guy whos joined up and mentioned the radio for partyvibe .. so when the set is finished in a couple of weeks we've got A new beginning at SE1, Psycle in Nottingham the night after and so the week after you guys will get to hear it and i must say is the most pounding psypants i have ever heard .. bring on BOOM ;)

p.s .. i really am sorry its taken so long!

[Tank Girl]

Hey Tom
sorry to hear things are a struggle at the moment :group_hug

I can only really repeat what Angel and Glo have said,

and that I read somewhere cravings actually only last 3 minutes, if you can do something like distraction, relaxation this can help,

if you stop drinking there are medications that are meant to help with cravings too that can be prescribed, but only if you are looking for complete abstenance - which some people have to do

my bro totally stopped drinking for 6 years, on his own with no proffessional help - think the fact he was vommiting blood helped make him realise he had a problem! but he now drinks occasionally ( - but only in social situations and only for one night and months can pass between without a drink, he doesnt do rugs either now) and it is not problematic.

I guess you have to decide what is best for you - and look at ways you can achieve your ultimate goal, maybe if you dont want to initially go down the GP / proffesional route - you could try AA and see what more informal support can do to help - or see if there are 'drop in' type centres locally that could help?

stay safe and take care :love:

[Digital-A]

all great suggestions, all worth consideration and most of all thanks for all the support guys! :)

[Tank Girl]

P.S- depending on the level of physical addiction - depends on whether its safe for you to just stop...
if you get mild shakes / sweats it maybe ok, but as I'm sure you know people can fit on alcohol withdrawal
it may be better to keep a diary of what your drinking and try and reduce it gradually rather than just stop

also something else that could be used with the diary is 'what your doing, how your feeling and if there are any specific triggers' when drinking, and this may give you an idea of prehaps whats going on for you when you drink less or more...

[DaftFader]

i'll wright something here when i finish work and have a bit more time ...

[Digital-A]

P.S- depending on the level of physical addiction - depends on whether its safe for you to just stop...
if you get mild shakes / sweats it maybe ok, but as I'm sure you know people can fit on alcohol withdrawal
it may be better to keep a diary of what your drinking and try and reduce it gradually rather than just stop

also something else that could be used with the diary is 'what your doing, how your feeling and if there are any specific triggers' when drinking, and this may give you an idea of prehaps whats going on for you when you drink less or more...

i may very well do that diary idea that sounds like it could really work/ scare me into kickin this .. would anyone mind doing it on here? just in case it could help someone else a little down the way .. i no if someone had done it and i had access to it, it could of done me good.

[Tank Girl]

i may very well do that diary idea that sounds like it could really work/ scare me into kickin this .. would anyone mind doing it on here? just in case it could help someone else a little down the way .. i no if someone had done it and i had access to it, it could of done me good.
as long as your happy to share personal info on here, it could do you / others good
and maybe others could identify things / triggers / emotions that you may not see as obvious..


best wishes :group_hug

[DaftFader]

well i just finished my 3rd beer for tonight (allmost went down the shop to get another one but stoped myself as i put a three beer limit on a week night). been trying not to drink at all durin the week and sucseeded for a while about 6/7 weeks (totaly quit for a month b4 the weekend drinking crept back in - one of two times i haven't drunk that long in about seven years) . i used to smoke ALOT of weed every day since about 12 till about 17 then quit but replaced it with alchahol as a base drug and did all the treats (mdma/coke/ket mainly) on the side from about 14/15. i'm 23 now so as i said have been drinking allmost every day for roughly 7 years. it's only been in the last year or two i have realised that it's a fucking mountain of a problem! what i find the hardest when tring to quit or cut down is that after i have got so far i tend to forget the reasons i stoped drinking .. or they arn't so apparent .. and that makes it so fucking easy just to slip back into old habits. atm i am probably drinking 3-4 nights a week 2-3 beers .. and mby upto 30 in total over the weekend (if i am not going out) i used to be on a ltr of voddy a day some times more when i was back in college when i was 18. what's shown me that it's a problem is alianating alot of people around me to the point i lost a few good friends and nearly one of my two best friends (the other is as much an alchy as me so is normaly too pissed to notice if i am playing up or is the same as me and falling about everywhere with me - this doesn't help when tring to quit). i now have got to the point where i just can't go on like this anymore .. i have a job and a lone and rent to pay and i can't fuck it up .. i have been a functioning alchoholic for the most part .. but i know how easy it can be to step over that line and just fuck it all off to get pissed as have been there quite a few times b4 .. i think i have got enought respect for my self now to not mess things up this time and have got responsabilitys that i respect also and am not gonna fuck up. this has helped me focus .. and focusing is what you are gonna need to help you quit. now i haven't quit yet totaly .. so my advise may not be from the best place as i may be wrong in what i am doing ... all i know is that it's what's helping me atm and for me that's good enough for now. also what helped me for a bit (i gave it up now just cos i can be a lasy fuck at times) is sport /hobbys ... if i got something to do that doesn't envolve alcahol like badminton or the likes (pref something where there isn't any alchahol alowed like a sports center or paintball).

hope this is of some help to you ... i will think of more things that might help another time as it getting late and i really should goto bed... hope it all works out for you .. and don't ever stop trying!

[DJCliffy]

I think the most important step is actually admitting you have a problem with addiction. I was like that with coke a couple years back. Did it all the time and was in proper denial about my usage. Finally admitted to myself i had a problem and just snapped out of it. Didn't stop altogether though cos if you deny yourself your substance of choice you will just crave it more. I cut down from every weekend to every couple weeks then to three weeks then so on. Still have binges on it but no where near as bad as i once was.

Fair play for admitting you got a problem DA, that's the key imo. My advice is to try and cut down the amount you drink and space it out as i mentioned earlier. If you're like me then if you stop straightaway and go 'cold turkey' then it won't work cos it's all you'll think about. Imo it's better to have a drink then think, "I'll have a week off it then have a drink next weekend" That way you'll look foward to it but ultimately you'll realise you don't need it as much as you think you do. it will then be easier to cut down and then if you wish stop altogether.

Hope that made sense mate. Good luck!! :group_hug

[DaftFader]

I think the most important step is actually admitting you have a problem with addiction. I was like that with coke a couple years back. Did it all the time and was in proper denial about my usage. Finally admitted to myself i had a problem and just snapped out of it. Didn't stop altogether though cos if you deny yourself your substance of choice you will just crave it more. I cut down from every weekend to every couple weeks then to three weeks then so on. Still have binges on it but no where near as bad as i once was.

Fair play for admitting you got a problem DA, that's the key imo. My advice is to try and cut down the amount you drink and space it out as i mentioned earlier. If you're like me then if you stop straightaway and go 'cold turkey' then it won't work cos it's all you'll think about. Imo it's better to have a drink then think, "I'll have a week off it then have a drink next weekend" That way you'll look foward to it but ultimately you'll realise you don't need it as much as you think you do. it will then be easier to cut down and then if you wish stop altogether.

Hope that made sense mate. Good luck!! :group_hug
see this for me works in the short run .. but in the long run i just end up slipping back into my old habits and drinknig more and more ... it's a constant battle to not drink as much .. for me it's all or nothing and atm nothing it too daunting so i drink less some times .. and more others .. it's better than drinking more all the time tho .. i'll give you that :wink:

[DJCliffy]

see this for me works in the short run .. but in the long run i just end up slipping back into my old habits and drinknig more and more ... it's a constant battle to not drink as much .. for me it's all or nothing and atm nothing it too daunting so i drink less some times .. and more others .. it's better than drinking more all the time tho .. i'll give you that :wink:

It is hard mate. Sometimes i find myself falling back into the old ways and it is a real struggle not to do so. Also there's not much else to do other than getting mashed so again it's hard to say no. :wink:

[Angel]

well i just finished my 3rd beer for tonight (allmost went down the shop to get another one but stoped myself as i put a three beer limit on a week night). been trying not to drink at all durin the week and sucseeded for a while about 6/7 weeks (totaly quit for a month b4 the weekend drinking crept back in - one of two times i haven't drunk that long in about seven years) . i used to smoke ALOT of weed every day since about 12 till about 17 then quit but replaced it with alchahol as a base drug and did all the treats (mdma/coke/ket mainly) on the side from about 14/15. i'm 23 now so as i said have been drinking allmost every day for roughly 7 years. it's only been in the last year or two i have realised that it's a fucking mountain of a problem! what i find the hardest when tring to quit or cut down is that after i have got so far i tend to forget the reasons i stoped drinking .. or they arn't so apparent .. and that makes it so fucking easy just to slip back into old habits. atm i am probably drinking 3-4 nights a week 2-3 beers .. and mby upto 30 in total over the weekend (if i am not going out) i used to be on a ltr of voddy a day some times more when i was back in college when i was 18. what's shown me that it's a problem is alianating alot of people around me to the point i lost a few good friends and nearly one of my two best friends (the other is as much an alchy as me so is normaly too pissed to notice if i am playing up or is the same as me and falling about everywhere with me - this doesn't help when tring to quit). i now have got to the point where i just can't go on like this anymore .. i have a job and a lone and rent to pay and i can't fuck it up .. i have been a functioning alchoholic for the most part .. but i know how easy it can be to step over that line and just fuck it all off to get pissed as have been there quite a few times b4 .. i think i have got enought respect for my self now to not mess things up this time and have got responsabilitys that i respect also and am not gonna fuck up. this has helped me focus .. and focusing is what you are gonna need to help you quit. now i haven't quit yet totaly .. so my advise may not be from the best place as i may be wrong in what i am doing ... all i know is that it's what's helping me atm and for me that's good enough for now. also what helped me for a bit (i gave it up now just cos i can be a lasy fuck at times) is sport /hobbys ... if i got something to do that doesn't envolve alcahol like badminton or the likes (pref something where there isn't any alchahol alowed like a sports center or paintball).

hope this is of some help to you ... i will think of more things that might help another time as it getting late and i really should goto bed... hope it all works out for you .. and don't ever stop trying!

:group_hug

[Digital-A]

well i just finished my 3rd beer for tonight (allmost went down the shop to get another one but stoped myself as i put a three beer limit on a week night). been trying not to drink at all durin the week and sucseeded for a while about 6/7 weeks (totaly quit for a month b4 the weekend drinking crept back in - one of two times i haven't drunk that long in about seven years) . i used to smoke ALOT of weed every day since about 12 till about 17 then quit but replaced it with alchahol as a base drug and did all the treats (mdma/coke/ket mainly) on the side from about 14/15. i'm 23 now so as i said have been drinking allmost every day for roughly 7 years. it's only been in the last year or two i have realised that it's a fucking mountain of a problem! what i find the hardest when tring to quit or cut down is that after i have got so far i tend to forget the reasons i stoped drinking .. or they arn't so apparent .. and that makes it so fucking easy just to slip back into old habits. atm i am probably drinking 3-4 nights a week 2-3 beers .. and mby upto 30 in total over the weekend (if i am not going out) i used to be on a ltr of voddy a day some times more when i was back in college when i was 18. what's shown me that it's a problem is alianating alot of people around me to the point i lost a few good friends and nearly one of my two best friends (the other is as much an alchy as me so is normaly too pissed to notice if i am playing up or is the same as me and falling about everywhere with me - this doesn't help when tring to quit). i now have got to the point where i just can't go on like this anymore .. i have a job and a lone and rent to pay and i can't fuck it up .. i have been a functioning alchoholic for the most part .. but i know how easy it can be to step over that line and just fuck it all off to get pissed as have been there quite a few times b4 .. i think i have got enought respect for my self now to not mess things up this time and have got responsabilitys that i respect also and am not gonna fuck up. this has helped me focus .. and focusing is what you are gonna need to help you quit. now i haven't quit yet totaly .. so my advise may not be from the best place as i may be wrong in what i am doing ... all i know is that it's what's helping me atm and for me that's good enough for now. also what helped me for a bit (i gave it up now just cos i can be a lasy fuck at times) is sport /hobbys ... if i got something to do that doesn't envolve alcahol like badminton or the likes (pref something where there isn't any alchahol alowed like a sports center or paintball).

hope this is of some help to you ... i will think of more things that might help another time as it getting late and i really should goto bed... hope it all works out for you .. and don't ever stop trying!

im so glad your getting through bro, you sound so much like me and i understand but a very well done and keep it up!

drinking is such a weird thing, its crazy .. my friends i think have always seen me drink with them but its the drinking alone that is the part which gets me looking and thinking ''mmm .. if i was my liver i would hate me right now'' at the end of the day it really is my vice, k was it when i had serious problems and was like a blanket to me .. where as booze when i think back has been something ive always turned to and when i really think .. for a very long time. My grandad i found out was an alcoholic not in the years i knew him but when my dad was growing up, and now i grow older its strange when people say i am the spitting image of him, not relating to booze, as my extended family do not no, but with my character, attitude but even my smile. What scares me is he died at the age of 66, although due to lung cancer (and i smoke :yakk:) it really has upset, scared and do a serious amout of reflecting. Your right DF, i do need focus .. i no i am providing for myself and getting and very happy i am staying away from the K .. currently looking jobs in healthcare and just hoping i can get out of my current one and into something i can actually apply myself to .. lets just hope interviews go well eh!

Again, well done for helping your headspace DF .. i understand where your coming from and you yourself .. good luck!

Tommo

[Digital-A]

right here we go .. first entry.


Went to work this morning, woke up last night and had a can of stella next to the bed .. it was 4am yet still appetising!? Had it, then the age old feeling of ''why did i do that?'' .. quickly followed by ''shit, another thing telling me this isnt right .. again closely followed by ''ah well'' my next thought was ''for fucks sake''. People at work have been commenting on how i look, dont get me wrong not in a harsh way they just ask if im ok and feel run down. they say i look tired .. i tell them im not sleeping well. Work was bleak, for some reason getting shouted at .. told your shit at your job and verbally spat on by members of the public doesnt help things .. ive always known that hating my job and being stressed with other parts of my life hasnt helped things although since coming back from frenchtek and not living with my brother, the support gone, i definatly feel more alone, a major reason why i drink. for most of the day all i can really think about is booze. I got home at 5.30pm and smoked and stuck on an episode of American dad to try and take my mind off things, i go to the shop at 6.15pm. ive bought a half bottle of vodka and a couple of cheap power'thingy drinks, felt instantly better .. got a little left now but nearly quarter to 7 and the cravings have long gone .. finally for the first time since yesterday after work, im smiling. Im meeting up with the guy i am doing tunes with tonight, after already drinking before i see him i no more will follow later, as im writing this im thinking 'thats not good' .. another part says 'nevermind' . Lets see what tomorrow brings ..

[General Lighting]

fair play for sharing this...

however (over)optimistic many of us try to be, the reality is the feds have really clamped down hard on the party/drugs culture and a lot of us are substituting booze for drugs. I know I have been guilty of it myself in recent times, but precisely because I usually drink alone and when I drink socially or do any drugs I can still keep my guard up (i.e. not act like a muppet too much!) people often don't even realise how trashed I am sometimes..

I'm lucky because I'm older and got a career and a reasonable job where I am valued so that helps loads, but I still have to watch myself....

[DaftFader]

finally for the first time since yesterday after work, im smiling. Im meeting up with the guy i am doing tunes with tonight, after already drinking before i see him i no more will follow later, as im writing this im thinking 'thats not good' .. another part says 'nevermind' . Lets see what tomorrow brings ..this is why alchahol is soo fucking dangerous ... it's an emotional depresant in the long run .. but can act almost as a stimulant and uplift you some times (especialy if you not been drinking and are kinda clucking)... and the worst part is .. even if your sober mind would know your making a mistake .. your pissed mind is so depressed (as in numbed) you just dont care and do it anyway .. leading to more of the same .. this is why i try not to drink more than 3 on a week night as if i drink more i will start to actualy get drunk and then just think "fuck it" and end up getting even more drunk ... it's a very thin line i am walking atm .. it only takes one or two too many for me to get on an all out binge

[JamZandwich]

ketamine helped me to stop my daily drinking habbit, unfortunately the ket braught upon a whole new addiction in itself, i think some of us just need to replace one bad habbit with another, its like its in are blood, try and replace ur drinking with something good like excrecise or finding a girlfriend.
the fact ur holding down ur job has to be applaused.
keep us updated with ur progress mate. things will get better

[DIONYSUS]

goodluck and thanks for writing this. I hope your feeling better soon. :love:

[Digital-A]

Right e ho its been ages since my last entry .. being the first :S after a couple of weeks things have improved ive brought my consumption down to a little or none a day but there have been times when ive got calm in bedroom to the till in the shop in about 5 seconds. Ive noticed that my consumption is a lot to do with boredom, the feeling of going no where, lonliness and sense that everything is to much .. my actual situation hasnt changed, same house, same job etc etc but i would advise to anybody suffering like this with booze or drugs or whatever to have a goal on the side which you can take your mind of it with .. over the last couple of weeks its been the demo, focusing and thinking about what we can be doing with our music in half a year, year and so on .. also, it gets easy to stay in and get into the habit of locking yourself away, not good .. as it just makes things worse, advice again would be to have a goal .. to go round and see a mate or get out the mega drive and invite some people over. i noticed that when im around people i dont drink as much, still some .. but hey.

ive decided to carry on with this diary not on a daily basis but weekly, i feel then it would be easier to go through and see a pattern .. this is more self help than anything but as previously mentioned if it could help anyone, id be happy ..

catch you all on the flipside, tommo :D

[joshd96320]

glad to see your doing well, take it easy :)

[DaftFader]

good to hear your finding a way round this mate ... it gets a bit easyer once you feel you know that you have a way out ;)

[Tank Girl]

Right e ho its been ages since my last entry .. being the first :S after a couple of weeks things have improved ive brought my consumption down to a little or none a day but there have been times when ive got calm in bedroom to the till in the shop in about 5 seconds. Ive noticed that my consumption is a lot to do with boredom, the feeling of going no where, lonliness and sense that everything is to much .. my actual situation hasnt changed, same house, same job etc etc but i would advise to anybody suffering like this with booze or drugs or whatever to have a goal on the side which you can take your mind of it with .. over the last couple of weeks its been the demo, focusing and thinking about what we can be doing with our music in half a year, year and so on .. also, it gets easy to stay in and get into the habit of locking yourself away, not good .. as it just makes things worse, advice again would be to have a goal .. to go round and see a mate or get out the mega drive and invite some people over. i noticed that when im around people i dont drink as much, still some .. but hey.

ive decided to carry on with this diary not on a daily basis but weekly, i feel then it would be easier to go through and see a pattern .. this is more self help than anything but as previously mentioned if it could help anyone, id be happy ..

catch you all on the flipside, tommo :D


:group_hug:group_hug

[p0ly]

get out the mega drive and invite some people over.

raaaraaaraaa

[DIONYSUS]

good to hear your sortin it out mate, see you at glade! :bounce_flash: