Drugs or Her!

[Jimmytheduck]

My long term girlfriend and i have been arguing on and off for the past few weeks and it boils down to this:

Drugs or her.

She thinks that if i do them I'll mess up my family life and get in trouble with the law. she also hates the idea of drugs themselves as the poison the body. I've been told it comes down ive got to lost them or her.

Now i know it should be an easy decision, but they're a big part of my life. i don't do them casually but just at free parties and big events to blow of some steam but i can;t make that clear to her! to her they only appear as a threat and she wants that to change even thought it means me changing who i am.

Any thoughts?

[photographthesun]

poison ay? tell her your leave her unless she cuts out all the salt and alachol from her diet.

I guess only you can know which you love more, but you are young and what not so theres plenty of time for mistakes. Good luck

[DJCliffy]

Don't do drugs in front of her, have nights out just you and your drugs. Then have nights just you and the ball and chain.

[MisterDuck]

have you said this to her? if so what was the reaction?

the approach to communication is key!

[Dom_sufc]

She sounds either misinformed or narrow minded really. If she means alot try and use some convincing arguments on the principles of drugs and try and compare them to things she takes/does in her life that are equal or worse than drugs. Things like coffee, chocolate, alcohol, smoking. All these things are useless for the body and we only do them for their mind altering abilities! Mind altering including the feelings from them... Explain how drugs are just an extension of these which happen to be illegal for one gay reason or another.

Don't give into what she wants though. If she can't accept the above then I doubt you 2 could be very compatible in the long run anyway! Giving up recreational things for partners seems stupid to me. Course there's exceptions, like addictions and what not.

[Jimmytheduck]

Don't do drugs in front of her, have nights out just you and your drugs. Then have nights just you and the ball and chain.

That's what I've been doing for a while now, but she will eventually find out as we share a large amount of friends.

I will try and argue with her i guess although with this one it will be hard ^^

Thanks for advice everyone. I'll let you know how it goes.

[General Lighting]

this is very worrying considering jimmy's young age - presumably his partner isn't much older... when I was that age many more girls tolerated a drug using bloke or were even attracted to them (OK it was during the first days of the rave scene)

normally though a girl so young is anti-drugs either because her family have made her that way and/or someone else close to her has had bad experiences because of the actions of a drug user - not just the obvious things like death and OD but a drug user what was a bit snappy on comedowns or robbed from the family home...

these days particularly in SE England its not just media hype any more, families form their views about drugs from personal experiences...

I know women in their 30s and 40s who even if they don't do as much themselves still respect their partners right to get high provided that partner contributes to the household

its worth trying to have a indepth chat about the real reasons behind her views and reassuring her that your own use will not be problematic..

[MisterDuck]

i think things might have changed GL

the majority of girls i know my age are anti-drugs, its very annoying

it could be because the way people use certain drugs has changed? i don't know

[General Lighting]

i think things might have changed GL

the majority of girls i know my age are anti-drugs, its very annoying

it could be because the way people use certain drugs has changed? i don't know

sadly this must be the legacy my generation left behind then - a lot of girls will have been told stories or even experienced older siblings or relatives going through hell with problematic drug use or they are environments such as the workplace or peer groups where their friends/colleagues tell them horror stories (many of which aren't exactly untrue even if exaggerated)

my own sister is in her mid 20s and not 100% anti-drugs (she is relatively anti-prohibition) but she now works at NHS and it has changed her views about people being given "100% freedom" with alcohol and drugs

where I work now every one of my younger work colleagues has either had something stolen by a drug user or had a friend/relative physically attacked by one (not even robberies, just random attacks), and bear in mind coke, K and steroids are the most popular drugs in this region..

[!sinner69!]

Be open with it...i tried that do my own things and that just messed everything up...cause when people are against drugs they often cant see a middle way, sorry to say...so IMO this will be an ever returning problem...deal with it now...or it just get worse, you might end up alone but then you have been true to yourself and honest with your GF....

[p0ly]

i think things might have changed GL

the majority of girls i know my age are anti-drugs, its very annoying

it could be because the way people use certain drugs has changed? i don't know

you've been meeting/hanging around with the wrong girls! :laugh_at:

[MisterDuck]

you've been meeting/hanging around with the wrong girls! :laugh_at:

maybe so :wink:

im not talking about posh up-their-arse girls or owt, the lasses i'm mates with are right-on down to earth people, i think its more like GL ses from relatives/mates bad experiences. dont get me wrong they'll have the odd spliff but anythin more is dangerous territory

also it's most, obviously i know quite a few girls well up for the whole package :wink:

[p0ly]

there are alot of DRUNKS ARE BAD girls about, but you'll see them in the shitty comercial clubs pissed out of their brains! hipocrites