Major age difference =/

[hyperSkunk]

ok well...ive liked this girl for quite awhile now, we have stayed good friends for the past two years, we like each other equailly but theres a few issues which i just cant seem to get around..........

well for starters im 20 and shes 15......it wouldnt matter so much if i was like 25 and she was 20.........but i think she is very mature for her age though and thats probably y i like her compared to alot of females my age.

another major problem is that shes one of the my best friends little sister.....and i think he may have a little hint in the back of his mind that we like each other, but i remember the very first time her and i met, we were sorta talking and hugging and whatnot, and he got really pissed off about it and basically dragged her home without saying a word.......and bcuz most of my other friends have grown up with her and her brother since childhood, there all basically close, and they basically wasn't all for the idea of me and her hugging and stuff...........one of my friends basic words were ''go near her and ill break you're legs''............not very supportive coming from a friend that i've known all my life........

so ive just posted this on here just to give people a view of the situation im in at the moment and its really hurting to know that im going through all this because i dunno wot 2 do. should i tell my friend that i like his sister? i did say to her though because she is at that age where shes got exams and shes reli bright, i wouldnt wanna go out with her until after her exams have done....but then i might be off to university at that time.........but bleh........

...........any view or comments would be much appriciated, thanks for you're time.

/Hyper

[lilmstrixta]

same age difference between me and my fella except he's 27 im 22 though my mate kev's girlfriend was 15 when he got with her and he was 21.

I personally would talk to her brother both of you maybe tell him you both have feelings for each other but haven't done anything yet as you don't want to upset people or you know something long those lines, but i guess at the end of the day you just have to do what makes you both happy.

[General Lighting]

with a girl <16 there is always the risk of a bloke (even in his own teens) both being subject to vigilanté attacks and unwanted attention from the authorities, especially with all the nonce/grooming hysteria (bear in mind loads of offenders are being nicked who are only in their 20s)

Society always tends to blame the bloke as well even if both partners are equally willing.

The law does appear to be actually being enforced these days, perhaps as a backlash against "childhood ending too soon"

ironically with older people no one gives a shit, there are 10-20 year age differences amongst middle aged/elderly couples or even those in their late 30s/early 40s...

[MrAHC]

Its still illegle though its not a major age diffrence if she was a couple of years older at the end of the day shes still a school girl.

A bloke who was driving for our crew last year was trying to make a point that age dont matter if a girl had passed puberty the sick fucker is 42..:you_crazy:you_crazy

He dont drive for us no more and aint welcome at our partys!!!!

[General Lighting]

Its still illegle though its not a major age diffrence if she was a couple of years older at the end of the day shes still a school girl.

there is also a worryingly unclear bit in current British law. The age of consent may be 16, but youths aged 16-18 are still classed as children so an angry parent can still claim that their youths are being groomed if they don't approve of the relationship with an older person, even someone just slightly older (it might be difficult to get a case through Court but cops can act on suspicion..)


A bloke who was driving for our crew last year was trying to make a point that age dont matter if a girl had passed puberty the sick fucker is 42..:you_crazy:you_crazy

He dont drive for us no more and aint welcome at our partys!!!!
too right. if cops so much as suspect any sort of "child protection" issue amongst an "alternative group" they can actually use this as an excuse to override all sorts of human rights/privacy protections and justify intense surveillance...

the cops in the East of England region (as well as NHS/Social Services) are hinting that they are looking into this aspect of the club/party scene (particularly due to the young age of many people attending raves these days). all these agencies work together and exchange data nowadays.

[MrAHC]

there is also a worryingly unclear bit in current British law. The age of consent may be 16, but youths aged 16-18 are still classed as children so an angry parent can still claim that their youths are being groomed if they don't approve of the relationship with an older person, even someone just slightly older (it might be difficult to get a case through Court but cops can act on suspicion..)

too right. if cops so much as suspect any sort of "child protection" issue amongst an "alternative group" they can actually use this as an excuse to override all sorts of human rights/privacy protections and justify intense surveillance...

the cops in the East of England region (as well as NHS/Social Services) are hinting that they are looking into this aspect of the club/party scene (particularly due to the young age of many people attending raves these days). all these agencies work together and exchange data nowadays.
I've been made to look the bad guy in this as well! But his comments and other circumstances dont make for happy reading. Its best to nip it in the butt before theres anymore evidence.

We had a case like this in Cornwall in 97 where a guy whod actualy been on the travling and festival scene for years was grooming young lads on sites and though he'd been fucked off from one site he'd go to the next as information was not shared.

He finaly got caught bang to rights and got his justice traveler style. I still feal that the law should of been brought in on this one.

Your point on party goers age is a good point...

[hyperSkunk]

yeah its just the akwardness between me talking to her brother because we're really good friends...........but me and this girl have talked about alot..........like the fact that she is under 16 so i said to her i would be adult enough to not have sex with you until you're at the right age or ATLEAST until she is ready...but that is the least of my worries..........i would like to wait until she is a little bit older but im just afraid of loosing the spark between us, like the fact that i won't go out with her probably will give her the impression that i don't wanna go out with her at all.

not trying to be big headed but we're very grown up and i think she is quite mature for her age so i dont think me and her would be the problem...........its the issue of getting around her brother.......as well as my friends.........

[lilmstrixta]

well its like everyone has been saying because she is under 16 it wouldn't be her that would have to press charges it could be her parents, but like i said before its something you want to do and you don't think either of you could wait a year or two then best to sit down and talk to the family imo.

[MrAHC]

yeah its just the akwardness between me talking to her brother because we're really good friends...........but me and this girl have talked about alot..........like the fact that she is under 16 so i said to her i would be adult enough to not have sex with you until you're at the right age or ATLEAST until she is ready...but that is the least of my worries..........i would like to wait until she is a little bit older but im just afraid of loosing the spark between us, like the fact that i won't go out with her probably will give her the impression that i don't wanna go out with her at all.

not trying to be big headed but we're very grown up and i think she is quite mature for her age so i dont think me and her would be the problem...........its the issue of getting around her brother.......as well as my friends.........
sack it off pall, wait till shes over 18 you'll just make problems otherwise.

[Elect The Dead]

Around summer time last year i was getting very suspicious that a mate of mine who is a year younger than me was seeing my little sister who was 15 at the time..... He is one of those very secretive people so i didn't tend to ask questions because i knew he would just lie if it were true.... until one day i was almost certain he was seeing her..... So one night me and him had a night in with a few biscuits, some weed and the laptop with unlimited films, music etc..... I wouldn't normally do something like this as im a nice guy and respect peoples privacy but he left the room fto take a piss and i opened up his msn list just to get my facts right and then saw my sisters addy..... I waited till we was both extremely buzzing to confront him because i knew then he would open up and tell me everything without hesitation, I just turned round to him and said "is there something you need to tell me mate" and straight away he knew what i was talking about and responded with "is it time to have a man to man talk" and we talked for hours about it..... I was a bit annoyed that him and her had kept it from me for so long but i was ok with the fact that they were together aslong as my sister was happy.... their not together now, i think the whole age thing is what made things difficult.

[hyperSkunk]

thanks for all the replies, more than i expected lol.

yeah i think that i'm just gunna wait a few more years, ya never know she might find a nice guy her own age, and vice versa............but if we truely do like each other then i guess we can make something happen in a few years time.

i suppose during the meantime, i just wanna stay good friends with her but not mislead her in any way, and maybe try and have a good talk with her brother, i said to him we needed a night in with a half dozen bottles of wine, some good music and perhaps some blapping on the good o xbox 360 ;) lol. maybe if that night comes i might feel abit more comfortable talkin 2 him about it.

thanks for all you're support, i feel a little more comfortable talking about it on the net tbh instead of to one of my so called 'friends' , theres only one of my friends who ive actually spoke 2 about this and she cheered me up by saying ' i hope it grows into something good'

[lilmstrixta]

hope it works out for you hun and it turns out to be worth the wait, you never know you may find someone else when you least expect it

[hyperSkunk]

hope it works out for you hun and it turns out to be worth the wait, you never know you may find someone else when you least expect it

cheers m8 =) well unfortunately, you cant get everything you want in life, so im just gunna have to face the facts that we cant go out, even if it means at the moment, and to be completely honest, shes a really smart girl, in year 10 and already doing some GCSE's so i wanna see her do well. ya never know, we might just be extremely good friends, i find it easy to talk 2 her and we have lots in common. except she dont like dance music, shes more of a emo/rocker :P lol

[lilmstrixta]

ahh the great music divide lol well if she is worth it like i said she will still be there in a couple of years time

[Elect The Dead]

Yeah hang in their mate, your both still very young and have plenty of time for things to change, she may even come to like diffrent genres of music as she gets older. I went through a "rude boy" phase back when i was in school and then came to realise i looked and acted like a twat :wink:

[hyperSkunk]

Yeah hang in their mate, your both still very young and have plenty of time for things to change, she may even come to like diffrent genres of music as she gets older. I went through a "rude boy" phase back when i was in school and then came to realise i looked and acted like a twat :wink:

lmao, i remember them days, good old high school..........i was searching through my C.D collection i had found in the loft and found some of the rarest shit ever...........so solid crew.............now thats what i call music 50......maroon 5's album.........my god, i was a proper chav back them....well wot we use 2 say 'townie' :P

though i am passionate about my music i love everything from rock/metal/emo/acoustic to dance/jungle/breakbeat/techno.but to find them old C.D's bought a sad look on ma face hahahaa

[Playground Politics]

except she dont like dance music, shes more of a emo/rocker :P lol


get rid of her! hahahah

[hyperSkunk]

get rid of her! hahahah

hahahahaha :P

keeping it mutal might be a good thing, last night we wasn't exactly best of friends.............so after all, going out might not be the best idea, but i still wanna meet up with her and discuss the whole 'wait until ur older' idea.

[rach]

if its meant to be then you'd never loose the spark no matter how long you wait for each other, and if you truly want to be with her bady enough then you'll find courage in that to be able to be honest enough with your friend, at the end of the day, never ever throw away a good friendship, and although he may not be happy at first, it might take time to come round to the situation, but he'll respect you for the honesty give him. talk to him first.

i personally dont think age difference is a problem, my boyfriend is 8 years older than me, but be prepared that most people in society might find it a problem, especially before she turns 16

good luck with what you decide to do
:group_hug

[General Lighting]

this whole thing is also a big dilemma for blokes who are a bit older but look younger (like myself) - I don't mean to boast but many people think I am about 19-23 when they first meet me in real life..

so I do get a fair bit of attention from younger girls, but sometimes i feel uncomfortable as I have to be careful what I say to them and how I act - its fucking annoying as i am a perfectly normal red blooded hetrosexual male and there are of course times Ive seen some fit but young girls and wanted to flirt a bit but I feel you have to check yourself to avoid potentially uncomfortable situations (so I'm a bit shy around girls/women)

also many already have boyfriends anyway who are a bit insecure/jealous..

I'm always totally honest about my real age though (although there are times when I have been tempted to lie a bit :wink:)

Also a lot of younger lads have their own "moral codes" and are prepared to take matters into their own hands, there is a lot of stigma in wider society about 30 something blokes even hanging about with groups of younger people these days - people think they are drug dealers or want to get with young girls (recent media coverage and current moral panics in our region don't help either)

mind you even 20 something lads are being suspected these days and the "old style morals" are coming back whether we like it or not it seems..

[lilmstrixta]

I don't know if its just me but i tend to go for lads that are older, by quite a bit i might add and when i was 17 i was with someone who was 26 which is still quite an age difference. i think its sad cause there are some nice older guys out there that genuinely fall for younger girls and vice versa its just sad that we live in a world with pedophiles and groomers.

[hyperSkunk]

yeh deffiently, i mean if you're 20 going out with a 30 year old, people would see that as 'cool' but if you're like around my age and like i said going for someone abit younger than me, people tend to frown upon that.

though i was quite pleased with myself yesterday, i had talked to one of my m8s girlfriends who is like a really good m8 of mine too, and ya kno, because of the whole 'my friends will be pissed off with me for liking her', she was being incredibly supportive, saying that she will be behind me 110% percent if anything did occure between us.......that she would stand up to my friends and to be honest........give me moral rights as a human for allowing me to see someone who i care about.........as well as that, my friend who i had been speaking too..........she is this girls brothers best friend................and she explained to me about how he was incredibly arrogant and neive towards her when she started to go out with one of our friends.........and she said that if he is going to be like that towards me and his sister, it will be akward but you just have to grow to accept it.

and i spoke to her on the phone last night with her friend as well, that gave both of us a boost of convidence because we only speak over msn quite alot because she lives not-so-near.......well....just see what happens i guess .........and you're right.....if you do truely like some1, you won't loose the spark.

[JonnyQuest]

ask her out,
YOU CAN SQUARE IT WITH JESUS LATER

im kidding but wait dude cause otherwise her brother is likely to cave your head in

[hyperSkunk]

come believe in jesus and get a free playstation 2!!!

[Tek Offensive]

theres a couple from my village that had that kinda age difference, only she was 16 when they started goin out,

obviously was a good thing for them though cos she just had her 21st last weekend and theyre still very happily together. up to you ennit, maybe better to wait tho

[darkstar]

there is also a worryingly unclear bit in current British law. The age of consent may be 16, but youths aged 16-18 are still classed as children so an angry parent can still claim that their youths are being groomed if they don't approve of the relationship with an older person, even someone just slightly older (it might be difficult to get a case through Court but cops can act on suspicion..)


I'm assuming when you say British you actually mean English law mate ?

The age of consent is 16 years old throughout the UK.

In Scotland only someone 14 years old or younger is considered a child ( a minor in legal terms ). Anyone over the age of 14 is not a child under Scots Law.

In Scotland anyone who is 16 years or older is an adult and their parents have no control or legal jurisdiction over them.

Hence what you say cannot occur in Scotland.

:wink:

[hyperSkunk]

yeh well i don't care about that anymore..................i was wondering why i was single in the first place, women just fuck with my head too much and i spin into a spiral of out of control depression.............she hasn't been speaking to me for like a good 2 weeks.............and shes already found someone else to 'flirt' with...............so i think i'm gunna give this one a miss....

thanks for all you're help people, much appriciated =) such a nice community on here.

btw anybody got any remeedies for abit of headache? =/

/Hyper

[DJCliffy]

btw anybody got any remeedies for abit of headache? =/

/Hyper
Yeah come partying mate! That'll take your mind off it my man:love:

Also go to a strip-pub. It helps but i don't know why?! :weee:

[hyperSkunk]

Yeah come partying mate! That'll take your mind off it my man:love:

Also go to a strip-pub. It helps but i don't know why?! :weee:

yeah boy gunna try goin out this weekend if the norfolk piggys dont ruin things up again!!!!

strip pub, sounds good wheres ya local :P lol

[technofreak52]

you should just ask her out. age means nothing. there is 10 years between me and my boyfriend. I was 17 when we started going out i am nearly 20 now so it can work. fuck what other people say, its there problem. if it makes you happy go for it.

[hyperSkunk]

you should just ask her out. age means nothing. there is 10 years between me and my boyfriend. I was 17 when we started going out i am nearly 20 now so it can work. fuck what other people say, its there problem. if it makes you happy go for it.

i would if she was over 16 and out of school, thats the thing...............but ive also realised that because of the age gap............i've found out that im abit more mature than her, yeh i know, mite sound big headed, but she is just soo immature and i thought females grew up faster than blokes.

[DJCliffy]

yeah boy gunna try goin out this weekend if the norfolk piggys dont ruin things up again!!!!

strip pub, sounds good wheres ya local :P lol


Yeah man try ur luck innit!

Regarding the pub, We got several strip pubs round here and every payday we visit em! Tomorrow we're gonna explore a new one that we've just discovered! :love:

[MrAHC]

you should just ask her out. age means nothing. there is 10 years between me and my boyfriend. I was 17 when we started going out i am nearly 20 now so it can work. fuck what other people say, its there problem. if it makes you happy go for it.aye but this uns under 16.

[hyperSkunk]

well on a happier note, im going back to college in september and hopefully to uni next year, plenty of punani!!!! ayeeeee!!!!

[DJCliffy]

well on a happier note, im going back to college in september and hopefully to uni next year, plenty of punani!!!! ayeeeee!!!!

Good ladraaa

[hyperSkunk]

bring on the weekend, i have 20 dollar gunna get myself a 1/2 of mudd and im gunna get wankered!

:bounce_fl:bounce_fl:bounce_fl:bounce_fl:bounce_fl

[DJCliffy]

bring on the weekend, i have 20 dollar gunna get myself a 1/2 of mudd and im gunna get wankered!

:bounce_fl:bounce_fl:bounce_fl:bounce_fl:bounce_fl

safe matey i'm gonna do the same. Although it might be prudent to buy a g of mud cos i don't think half will last that long! (Not with my mates neway!):love:

[hyperSkunk]

safe matey i'm gonna do the same. Although it might be prudent to buy a g of mud cos i don't think half will last that long! (Not with my mates neway!):love:

yeh boy, see im going with a different set of m8s, fair enough they make a spliff n pass it round but when it comes 2 muddma, we all buy our own, you'd b surprised how far a half g does 1 person, get ya gurn on!!!!!! i would get like 8 pills for about £20, but i dont do pills anymore, too much shit is put in em.

[Sini]

Good to see your spirits are still high hyperSkunk =]
I'm still shaking my head at the word "punani" haha

[hyperSkunk]

Good to see your spirits are still high hyperSkunk =]
I'm still shaking my head at the word "punani" haha

thank you, to be honest, i think it helps talking to people you don't know(my friends), like on here, you can tend to talk about unlimited things and not have worries. but cheers, i am abit happier, ive got the biggest cuppa tea ever XD

i apoligise madam!! lol it just came to me, and plus im almost 21, ive gotta be a teenager for another few months still ;) :weee:

[jack_daniels]

i didnt think a lot could be done if the under age person doesnt give a statement and the other person is under the age of 21

[One.badgerinpink]

my blokey istwelve years older than me and we dont find it a problem...apart from that i look younger than the 23 that i am......i still get id'd for cigs.......dont think it matters apart from the fact that she isnt 16....thats a problem....apart from it being illegal...im sure it would raise a few eyebrows and get tounges wagging...

[hyperSkunk]

well im forgetting about her now anyway, she hasn't spoken to me in well over a month, hasn't texted me, nothing. so her loss!!! chin up!! =/

[lilmstrixta]

well im forgetting about her now anyway, she hasn't spoken to me in well over a month, hasn't texted me, nothing. so her loss!!! chin up!! =/

im sure you'll find someone else hun like you said chin up

[hyperSkunk]

im sure you'll find someone else hun like you said chin up

cheers m8

i've had enough of women atm anyway, sorry :P:laugh_at:

[lilmstrixta]

not like you men are much better either lol

[DJCliffy]

not like you men are much better either lol

Not bigging myself up but i am!!!! :love:

[lilmstrixta]

Not bigging myself up but i am!!!! :love:

pfft im sure you are for the first 6 months all men are then it just plummets down hill and all you want to do is watch sky sports news and smoke weed pmsl

[DJCliffy]

pfft im sure you are for the first 6 months all men are then it just plummets down hill and all you want to do is watch sky sports news and smoke weed pmsl

Well i don't watch sky sports news or smoke weed! :weee:

[lilmstrixta]

Well i don't watch sky sports news or smoke weed! :weee:

well i guess you could be the exception to the rule lol

[hyperSkunk]

pfft im sure you are for the first 6 months all men are then it just plummets down hill and all you want to do is watch sky sports news and smoke weed pmsl

sky sports news has ogtta be the worst channel ever made, id rather watch the al-jazeera network..................''oh no hes scored a goal.......lets watch that again.................and again...................and again......now from a different angle...................and another angle *10 minutes later* and another angle...............one more............you just can't keep youre eyes off the FRECKIN ball' lol

i do like havin a kick about, i just think football is far, far over rated and too much nowadays, it's taken far too seriously, i mean football firms WTF ''yeh im gunna smash ya face with a bottle cuz my football team scored a goal'' :you_crazy:you_crazy:you_crazy

[DJCliffy]

well i guess you could be the exception to the rule lol

I reckon i am you know! :love:

[hyperSkunk]

pfft im sure you are for the first 6 months all men are then it just plummets down hill and all you want to do is watch sky sports news and smoke weed pmsl

one spliff or two??? :weee: can i have both?

[lilmstrixta]

you can have as many as you like lol

[e_babes]

I don't understand why men (or boys) about 17 - 19 seem to end up dating a girl arround 14 or 15. I'm not aiming this at anyone but I think its wrong.

You should wait until she has left education - people have enough on their plate going through puberty!!

Sorry to piss on your fire