ok i have a question

[tarifa]

if a person is involve in an unconventional (tho stable) relationship do they have the right to bring children into it?

[twelve10z]

Unconventional how (Same sex?)

The argument would be positive Female and Male role models. If there was regular support via extended family then the answer would have to be yes.

Homophobic views could cause a problem for children at school.

[tarifa]

3 people rather than the conventional 2

[twelve10z]

Same Sex?

[tarifa]

mixed.

but the specifics arent really important its the theory.

i recently had this conversation with a very good friend who has whole heartedly (?) and non-judgementally (or has he really) supported the relationship, but when the possibilty of kids was introduced to the equation he really turned on me.

He's a good friend but he had some serious feelings about having kids in an unconventional set up. They differ from mine and i didn't appreciate the manner in whih they were delivered, but i don't just write things off before consideration.

so am interested in others opinions

i think its an interesting question

[spark_plug]

how exactly would it work? i think you'd really struggle with a child understanding it

[globalloon]

as long as a child has all their physical, emotional and developmental needs met who has the right to judge their parents' choices?


how exactly would it work? i think you'd really struggle with a child understanding it

i think it's other adults who would struggle. children are very accepting.

[General Lighting]

so am interested in others opinions



as long as you don't mind your own kid doing the same when he/she grows up then IMO there isn't a problem with it...

[tarifa]

this was my thinking, kids are bouncy and tend to pick up on the attitudes they grow up with.

if they witness stability, honesty, openess etc they grow up understanding those concepts.

Surely it doesn't matter how the family is formed but that its a happy one?

his attitude is that its all very well when they're younger but as they grow up it'll cause them all sorts of problems, having to deal with it themselves, the attitudes of people (kids and teachers) at school, possible social ostracisation, the fall out if the relationship goes tits up etc

my view on a break up is that all relationships are at risk of that

It is funny tho, I am questioning it deeper, the concept that choosing a route in life for yourself is one thing but that bringing a child into that ife is a different matter

[General Lighting]

I think junior school will be fine but high school might be a bit more problematic

Younger children are as globalloon said diverse/accepting but its at the danger years of 11-16 when pre-teens/teens can become a lot more angry and reactionary, and tend to pick on people who are in any way different than them

Its not the 80s any more either when despite thatcho a lot more unconventional lifestyles were tolerated, there has been a backlash and I think we have gone back to the days "before political correctness"

[tarifa]

Younger children are as globalloon said diverse/accepting but its at the danger years of 11-16 when pre-teens/teens can become a lot more angry and reactionary, and tend to pick on people who are in any way different than them



yeah and it can be a nightmare age without added difficulties

its a difficult one.

one argment is that the best thing any child can have is happy stable parents who genuinely want and love them

another perspective is that as an adult you must think about the situation u are bringing children into

[globalloon]

another perspective is that as an adult you must think about the situation u are bringing children into

that sounds like giving in to peer pressure to me

there's a load of anti-immigration bullshit in the media and the streets. does that mean that me and my immigrant wife shouldn't have kids?

[spark_plug]

this question has really got me thinking and i'm even debating with myself about it.

i guess it also depends on what society you bring the child up in. one of my very good friends' dad is gay yet he was one of the most popular guys in school and everyone loved him.

where as at the school i was at people were tortured for being gay or having learning difficulties
but my friend was brought up in a society that was a lot more cultured that my up-bringing

[Jeg_Hersker]

Wow. I think you should get married. Married is when you love someone, not if they are legal to the country. I think that state and politics should stay out of personal lives...

We should be like this: :group_hug

And, it should be okay if someone is gay. It's not like they're pushing it upon other people. Look past the prejudice...

[tarifa]

that sounds like giving in to peer pressure to me



dunno, maybe, but i've always been pretty stubborn an done exactly what i wanted to so far so . . .

possibly more due to my personal sensitivity to the whole kid question. For my own reasons i take it very seriously (maybe a bit too, not sure). For me the biggest mistake in life is to bring kids into this world and fucking them over. an no i'm not bitter and twisted jus would rather not have kids at all than seriously bugger them up u know?

an thats utter b*****ks about you guys not havin kids. hmmmmmm maybe u have a point

[Tank Girl]

I personally think as long as the child or children have a careing, loving, supportive environment, when their physical, emotional and spiritual needs are met - that is a good place to start.

Think of all the children with one, two or three or four 'parents', significant others, step parents etc, think of the kids in care with 'gaurdians' foster families, the system as their network - all can have advantages / disadvantages.

Life is tough and sometimes its made even tougher, - we never know what is around the corner and cant always put off making decisions for the 'greater good' we can only deal with what happens as and when sometimes - and school is harsh and unforgiving anyway - for all sorts of reasons people / kids will find to bully others - if its not an 'unconventional' set up its the colour of your hair or the wrong trainers.....

[DJDANIEL]

Wow. I think you should get married. Married is when you love someone, not if they are legal to the country. I think that state and politics should stay out of personal lives...

We should be like this: :group_hug

And, it should be okay if someone is gay. It's not like they're pushing it upon other people. Look past the prejudice...

I'm legal in this country.am here for 5 years and i was trying to say that is hard for me to write.I can speak werry good and more then happy with that :wink: