Advice required pls !!!!

[stomperomper]

Hi peeps, I seldom ask for advice but this womans got me all confused !!

She finished it with me about 3 weeks ago, I said i did not want to be mates (as i have never done that) - she didnt like it but everytime I am out she always (according to my mates) seems to hover close by...

As far as I am concerned I just wish she would leave it alone, she never says anything but my mates always comment on the fact that when we are both in the same pub/club etc she always seems to be lookiing over and hovering...

Its annoying to be honest.

a - Why do you think she is doing it ?

b - Should I ask her to pack it in ?

thanks for reading and for the advice if you gave any !!!

[suffolkravas]

well mate i was in a very simillar situation recently, and im sorry but its completely up to you. cant really help with stuff like that...gotta watch as it unfolds.

[globalloon]

i might be well off the mark..

she's doing it because she needs reassuring that she didn't hurt you and wants to see you having fun (because she cares about you)... she prolly did hurt you though...

if it make you feel uncomfortable then it's well within your rights to tell her that it's bothering you... no one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable

[Raj]

If that was me I would move on and ignore her [I never go back on decisions to split up with people though]

Sounds an awful lot like what a few of my mates are going through at the moment and it sucks.
It is my suspicion that you may have been supposed to grovel at her feet and tell her you couldnt imagine life without her when she dumped you [not allow her to do so...] and beg her to reconsider...If this is the case run like f*ck and dont look back :wink: a relationship like this ends up with you constantly giving in to keep the other happy [endless emotional guilt trips] and in my personal opinion its never worth the sacrifices involved :noway:

I would tell her to get bent - it was her choice to dump you and now she can live with it. Simple as. [ I am not known for my subtlety in these matters :wink:]

[stomperomper]

i might be well off the mark..

she's doing it because she needs reassuring that she didn't hurt you and wants to see you having fun (because she cares about you)... she prolly did hurt you though...

if it make you feel uncomfortable then it's well within your rights to tell her that it's bothering you... no one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable

I understand the point you are making, however i lost my license, as a result i lost my job. I did say to her things were gonna be tough and even asked if she was sure she wanted to stick by me, but then of course when the going got tough, she called it a day. So as much as I like to see good in people, my mates have the impression that (now I have a new job and got myself sorted) she is just trying to suss me out ??

[stomperomper]

If that was me I would move on and ignore her [I never go back on decisions to split up with people though]

Sounds an awful lot like what a few of my mates are going through at the moment and it sucks.
It is my suspicion that you may have been supposed to grovel at her feet and tell her you couldnt imagine life without her when she dumped you [not allow her to do so...] and beg her to reconsider...If this is the case run like f*ck and dont look back :wink: a relationship like this ends up with you constantly giving in to keep the other happy [endless emotional guilt trips] and in my personal opinion its never worth the sacrifices involved :noway:

I would tell her to get bent - it was her choice to dump you and now she can live with it. Simple as. [ I am not known for my subtlety in these matters :wink:]

Raj, once again hun your advice is bang on, yes she is used to men runing round her like hopeless rabbits, as for me, I basically said go f##k yourself and dont ever contact me again, incidently she did ring me the other weekend, asking how i was, i just put the phone down, she called back again saying 'dont you want to talk to me', I said, no...not really...she never called again after that, but the way she seems to float around when im around, and talking loudly when i am about is very immature and irritating... i guess i just want to try and understand the reasons behind it...

cheers hun xx

[Tank Girl]

I understand the point you are making, however i lost my license, as a result i lost my job. I did say to her things were gonna be tough and even asked if she was sure she wanted to stick by me, but then of course when the going got tough, she called it a day. So as much as I like to see good in people, my mates have the impression that (now I have a new job and got myself sorted) she is just trying to suss me out ??

Sounds to me she thought the grass else where was greener and couldnt be arsed to stick with you when things were tough and now your sorted she wants you back....
tell her to go to fuck

[kelco]

I must say i agree with the others she is wanting you to notice her, hoping you will talk to her, i would stay well away.

[stomperomper]

Sounds to me she thought the grass else where was greener and couldnt be arsed to stick with you when things were tough and now your sorted she wants you back....
tell her to go to fuck

Thanks, thats pretty much what a few people have said, i dont want any contact with her at all, its her loss.

[stomperomper]

I must say i agree with the others she is wanting you to notice her, hoping you will talk to her, i would stay well away.

Oh I will, i did warn her if she called it a day it would mean no friendship - i dont think she took me seriously...


Thanks for the advice.

[tarifa]

I understand the point you are making, however i lost my license, as a result i lost my job. I did say to her things were gonna be tough and even asked if she was sure she wanted to stick by me, but then of course when the going got tough, she called it a day. So as much as I like to see good in people, my mates have the impression that (now I have a new job and got myself sorted) she is just trying to suss me out ??
i think when we really care about people we stick by them thru the crap stuff but as devil's advocate ( an there are lots of ways to look at this):

- when you were going thru this tough time how were you? how did you treat her?

- when we're going thru tough stuff, especially when it affects our self-esteem or belief etc we can be very hard to be with, its also a common practice to try to isolate oneself, push others away.

It is possible (if you were doing the above) that she backed off to let you know she wouldn't be treated badly (no-one loves a door-mat) an let you sort yourself out, hence her continued interest and overtures of friendship.

It is also possible that you were a love, that she doesn't really care an you should steer well clear.

's very hard to be objective about someone who has hurt us. Only you know (not us, not ur friends) what happened. kindest thing you can do for the pair of you is look at it honestly.

[Playground Politics]

Hi peeps, I seldom ask for advice but this womans got me all confused !!

She finished it with me about 3 weeks ago, I said i did not want to be mates (as i have never done that) - she didnt like it but everytime I am out she always (according to my mates) seems to hover close by...

As far as I am concerned I just wish she would leave it alone, she never says anything but my mates always comment on the fact that when we are both in the same pub/club etc she always seems to be lookiing over and hovering...

Its annoying to be honest.

a - Why do you think she is doing it ?

b - Should I ask her to pack it in ?

thanks for reading and for the advice if you gave any !!!

i havent read any of the other posts, but my best piece of advice, is to ask her all of the above questions, cos she is the only one with the answer

when will everybody realise that u need to talk to the other person first, altho in some cases that is not the answer

[marcusblanc]

Sounds to me she thought the grass else where was greener and couldnt be arsed to stick with you when things were tough and now your sorted she wants you back....
tell her to go to fuck


Harsh but fair! :laugh_at:

[Tank Girl]

Harsh but fair! :laugh_at:

opps!

Me thinks I was rather tired and grumpy on that one.......:wink:

(Not been sleeping well in the days :yawn:)

err.. on reflection there is always 2 sides to the story....

[stomperomper]

opps!

Me thinks I was rather tired and grumpy on that one.......:wink:

(Not been sleeping well in the days :yawn:)

err.. on reflection there is always 2 sides to the story....




Yeh the A side and the B side, both owned by ME !!!!! - To be honest I have given it some more thought, from what I have heard most of my mates are coming to the conclusion that she might still be interested and is kinda regretting the loss....

UNLUCKY !!!

[stomperomper]

i think when we really care about people we stick by them thru the crap stuff but as devil's advocate ( an there are lots of ways to look at this):

- when you were going thru this tough time how were you? how did you treat her?

- when we're going thru tough stuff, especially when it affects our self-esteem or belief etc we can be very hard to be with, its also a common practice to try to isolate oneself, push others away.

It is possible (if you were doing the above) that she backed off to let you know she wouldn't be treated badly (no-one loves a door-mat) an let you sort yourself out, hence her continued interest and overtures of friendship.

It is also possible that you were a love, that she doesn't really care an you should steer well clear.

's very hard to be objective about someone who has hurt us. Only you know (not us, not ur friends) what happened. kindest thing you can do for the pair of you is look at it honestly.

Good point, I didnt treat her badly, to be honest I was a bit grumpy from time to time, but hey, no job, no licence....

I evem offered her a get out clause if it got too much, i never expected her to take it !!!

As I knew i was being a little difficult I think I made more of an effort with flowers and shit...

If I was a love that she does not care about, why the continuous floating around when I am out ??? -

At the end of the day folks its over, I dont think I could ever trust her again, end of. I just dont want her to behave this way everytime we are in the same club /pub ?

[MrAHC]

Tell her your gay and your into a guy called Trevor!

[Tocooltom]

tell her to fuck off back to primary school, sounds like an imature man eater.
(im a rather blunt person sumtimesraaa )

[Playground Politics]

tell her to fuck off back to primary school, sounds like an imature man eater.
(im a rather blunt person sumtimesraaa )

id love to fuck ur eye pupil, im blunt as well (but not really proud of it sometimes)

[tarifa]

At the end of the day folks its over, I dont think I could ever trust her again, end of. I just dont want her to behave this way everytime we are in the same club /pub ?

if you dont trust her you got nothin, seems like you made up ur mind, things'll either calm down given time or things will come to a head, try to keep urs

good luck babe :wink:

[Playground Politics]

if you dont trust her you got nothin, seems like you made up ur mind, things'll either calm down given time or things will come to a head, try to keep urs

good luck babe :wink:

thats the one i read, but sssshhh, theres eyes everywhere :laugh_at: :hopeless:

[suffolkravas]

thats the one i read, but sssshhh, theres eyes everywhere :laugh_at: :hopeless:

its pa ra noi aaaaaaaa:laugh_at: :crazy:

[tarifa]

its pa ra noi aaaaaaaa:laugh_at: :crazy:

:laugh_at: :laugh_at: human traffic, funny film :wink:

[suffolkravas]

:laugh_at: :laugh_at: human traffic, funny film :wink:

once i figure out how to get photobucket and kodak to work ill post a pic of me doin the dodgy fuckers jungle dance(the one to the stalker) :weee: :groucho:

[suffolkravas]

http://i221.photobucket.com/albums/dd90/proppaganja/063_63.jpg there ya go tarifa :bounce_fl raaa that was taken when i was 16

[tarifa]

http://i221.photobucket.com/albums/dd90/proppaganja/063_63.jpg there ya go tarifa :bounce_fl raaa that was taken when i was 16

Ok SR but which one are you? :wink:

[suffolkravas]

the one doin the jungle dance in human traffic

[tarifa]

the one doin the jungle dance in human traffic

the one who looks like he's sittin on a chair? Cute!:wink:

[suffolkravas]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Jm7Y9HCSjxE doin that dance to that tuneraaa

[Rupi]

Sounds to me she thought the grass else where was greener and couldnt be arsed to stick with you when things were tough and now your sorted she wants you back....
tell her to go to fuck

Def agree with this! It's always the way - men seem more attractive when they're not yours... grass is greener etc. and once you can't have it then you want it! Sod's law but if that's how she played it she needs to just live with her decision, be it the wrong one! I say tell her where to go!

RP

[stomperomper]

Def agree with this! It's always the way - men seem more attractive when they're not yours... grass is greener etc. and once you can't have it then you want it! Sod's law but if that's how she played it she needs to just live with her decision, be it the wrong one! I say tell her where to go!

RP

Thanks for all the great feedback, yeh, she was out again last thurs, did the same thing. but just ignored it. Its a shame, there is nothing i hate more than being dissapointed in someone who you once thought the world of. RIP rach.

Thanks guys....

SR

[Kyle.]

Cunt Punt?? :wink:

[K_trina]

Hi peeps, I seldom ask for advice but this womans got me all confused !!

She finished it with me about 3 weeks ago, I said i did not want to be mates (as i have never done that) - she didnt like it but everytime I am out she always (according to my mates) seems to hover close by...

As far as I am concerned I just wish she would leave it alone, she never says anything but my mates always comment on the fact that when we are both in the same pub/club etc she always seems to be lookiing over and hovering...

Its annoying to be honest.

a - Why do you think she is doing it ?

b - Should I ask her to pack it in ?

thanks for reading and for the advice if you gave any !!!


Well in response to A, what exactly is she doing? Are you annoyed that she is in the same places as you? If so I'm sure she isn't doing that on purpose and it's just coincidence?

I think if you mention anything to her, you are going to look paranoid or whatever because she probaly doesn't even realise she is doing anything.

[K_trina]

@ SUFFOLKRAVAS

you look like Ed Cox