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  #26  
Old 04-04-2006, 10:49 PM
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Thought i'd start by first saying hi all xx

Personnal i've never cheated and probally never will... i say probally as nothings 100%... and you never know, i've still got a good few years to mess up in but realistically...

Is there really any point?... and if so? is it for a selfish reason?... and who does it benefit? for how long and come on girls... lucky if it's more than 5 mins...
I so know that someones going to respond saying they've got a man that goes all night and my only responce is... well babe, best hope i don't meet him xx

Is there any point iin cheating purly because the eventually out come will lead to someone getting hurt and others lying...
And when it's as easy as sending a text to break up, is it worth putting yourself in a situation where your in the wrong?

Just hearing and seeing others making that chioce and seeing the upset, confusion and hurt caused... damn it would deverstate me to do that to anyone.

But then if it was ever done to me... and i know double standards... the male female thing... what ever!

I do think that women as a whole that it different... it wouldn't be the fact that someone cheated... it would be the fact that they tried to lie to hide it... and more of them with holding information that the other person should know to be able to make the right chioce for them and there lifes...? But then... i don't know.. that is coming from someone that doesn't do relationships... way over my head!
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  #27  
Old 04-04-2006, 10:56 PM
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why no relationships then?


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  #28  
Old 05-04-2006, 12:25 AM
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NO RELATIONSHIPS

Well it's a personnal chioce i've made for myself for reasons almost like a path of life i want to follow or create...

Being honest... I'm not relationship material and i just wouldn't put the effort or time in that it take to have a happy and peaceful relationship...

I do see the pros in relationships... like comfort, closeness/ warmth etc.. but i also see the cons...

And as i said... i've decided that i'm not that type...
Especially when i can pick and choose which parts i want and which i don't...
I'm not one to deal with dramas... problems yes, dramas no... so in not having a relationship with someone i don't need to take notice or consider what they think before deciding what i want to do... especially if it's upsetting or effecting them in some way.. i.e there emotions or deciding to go out with the girls instead of staying in!...

Bottom line is i'm very selfish and i don't like to compromise...
I found away of not getting stucked in a situation where i have to.
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  #29  
Old 05-04-2006, 10:29 AM
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at least your honist:) i appreashate that..
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  #30  
Old 05-04-2006, 01:02 PM
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I was cheated on in both my long term relationships, after being faithful to someone for 9 & 7 years it makes you wonder wtf, especially when they disrespect you by going with your mates. I guess it sorta helped knowing that they both wanted me back, as the grass wasn't greener on the other side, but yeah sod that i was so outta there. I wouldn't like to think i would be able to cheat on someone, cause people do change and fall out of love but i think i would give them the respect and finish with them first before moving on. I'm a pretty open minded person and love sex but the thought that my partner wouldn't be able to approach me to let me know they were contemplating on being with another person is beyond me. Being single and having fun for now suits me, sod being tied down by jealous people. I aint a jealous person and hope i never will be.
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  #31  
Old 06-04-2006, 02:40 PM
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People cheat for a few different reasons...

Usually selfish reasons... they go on to lie about it.. for more selfish reasons!...

The over all point is that they want what they want and they don't care who they hurt as they are thinking about their self's needs...

I say don't care because if they did... Well i don't know, i've already stated that i don't do relationships but come on now...
How could you forget that you have a partner????... ain't washing...

Some just want out of a realtionship, they haven't fully considered why or if it's an actually relationship/ partner issue... that are making them feel that way.. this is the:- The grass is green syndrome...

Yeah... you've all heard of it... bloody amusing! Purely as i hope you all know, thats never the case...would be nice if it was but it's just a trap... and an added complication, but i'll tell you what if i ever shame myself by falling in that hole, then i would admit it... Damn.. you guy's would be the first to know... can't say better than that!

But then i suppose that if a relationship is going bad... cheating partner has personnal/ issues that need to be communicated... I suppose the harder they find it to discuss something ie their concerns or something or possibly everything with their partner... that situation might send them looking or becoming attracted to someone thats more attentive in the areas that there lacking from their partner at that time..
And at that point i suppose it's where things could seem greener... but take my advice,... resort to just smoking it... leads to a peaceful life.

But i also thik that at the point of the cheating... the cheater has some sort of issue that they can't or won't for some reason communicate in words or actions... The trigger...

Because unless someone is cheating from the start of the relationship then is wouldn't be a standard behaviour pattern for that person.. so possible something would of had to of trigger the cheating reaction?

Women can be difficult to talk to at times but then again, when men are spoken to they don't always try to understand... instead, most men like brushing problems under the carpet and forgetting... problem is, women never forget... and the longer either partner is feeling something is up that communication is failing over, i just see an issue like that starting to create a negative reaction towards and from the partner...

Isn't it just really bugging when you know 100% that someone isn't telling you something or everything?... or things just arn't adding up...?

But i am only speaking about a standard relationship... nothing with if and but's...

Suppose some people react instantly or without thinking to their emotions...
Where as others would take time out to consider their emotions and what they really feel...

A problems only as big as the parts that you take into consideration.

But bringing my thoughts to an end.. realistically any one can do what they choose to do even if that means they are going to emotionally hurt someone else... adding lies to the mixture!...
Ask your self one question.. is that really the type of person you want in your life or to share you life with?
Someone that lies and cheats?... now sugar!.... thats one deal that anyone should be over the moon in turning down xx Just think liability!!! XX
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  #32  
Old 19-04-2006, 02:15 PM
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I have had 2 relationships,the first was for 2 years with the father of my little girl and i was completely faithfull and to my knollege so was he.The second was with the ex,who i was with for 2 n half years.Again i was completly faithfull but my ex wasn't.No reason for it except he was a bastard and deffinatly had grass is greener syndrome.But after we split i was talking to one of my mates n the ex ended up sparking him because he was jelous!

Some people just want to have there cake and eat it!Ive now been single for 6 months and the ex is still trying it on even tho he has a pregnant missus!

The sayings is deffinatly true tho once a cheat always a cheat!
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  #33  
Old 19-04-2006, 03:10 PM
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yes very true!
as a young lad i knew that my dad cheated on my mum and vowed never to do that to anyone!

I have never ever considered it but hav had it done to me and know it hurts badly!

jst life suppose


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  #34  
Old 06-06-2006, 02:21 PM
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Unhappy

Quote:
Originally posted by BioTech
I've never cheated/been unfaithful. I guess that makes me a bit less of a lad. I've considered it and had many chances to do so but just don't think I could deal with the guilt to be perfectly honest.

I've been cheated on before though. Luckily it wasn't a long term relationship but it still pissed me off something proper.
Well hello Bio-tec!!!
No Bio - tec it makes you a real man and it makes you unique as there isn't alot of people who can say that, so you are a rare accurance. well done for being different.

Seriously I have never cheated on any one, been unfaithful or kissed anyone else while I am in a relationship.

If you don't want a relationship then don't have one. I f you do have one. I don't know why people think they can have there cake and eat it, how dare you hurt and humiliate somone else. They say they don't want to hurt you by spliting up wid you but thats just pussy. Lying to your partner then makes it worse and then trust is lost and respect for you from others is lost.

I understand how it can happen but I do not accept that it is right or fair.

Ive been cheated on but it is against my morals completely so I will not do it. As you said Bio -Tec my I can't deal with the guilt and regret. To reck someones self confidense and make them insecure.

Do to others as you would like them to do to you.


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Last edited by Dutti B; 06-06-2006 at 02:31 PM..
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  #35  
Old 06-06-2006, 02:34 PM
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Have never cheated..have been with the same man in 19 years..

Have been cheated on before,hurts like hell,couldent do it to another..

we have split up now,but not because any of us cheated,at least not

that i know of..
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  #36  
Old 06-06-2006, 05:29 PM
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As for cheating i dont think i could live with myself, im a person thats tends to get very involved with another and if you dont have trust in a relationship then you dont have a relationship.


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Last edited by raverbaby; 06-06-2006 at 05:36 PM..
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  #37  
Old 06-06-2006, 06:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dutti B
Well hello Bio-tec!!!
No Bio - tec it makes you a real man and it makes you unique as there isn't alot of people who can say that, so you are a rare accurance. well done for being different.

Seriously I have never cheated on any one, been unfaithful or kissed anyone else while I am in a relationship.

If you don't want a relationship then don't have one. I f you do have one. I don't know why people think they can have there cake and eat it, how dare you hurt and humiliate somone else. They say they don't want to hurt you by spliting up wid you but thats just pussy. Lying to your partner then makes it worse and then trust is lost and respect for you from others is lost.

I understand how it can happen but I do not accept that it is right or fair.

Ive been cheated on but it is against my morals completely so I will not do it. As you said Bio -Tec my I can't deal with the guilt and regret. To reck someones self confidense and make them insecure.

Do to others as you would like them to do to you.
well said :)

Sadly I think there are way too many people around who see relationships as a competitive power struggle.

Cheating in relationships is part of this (they are also the same sort of people who rip others off in business deals, who grass on others to bring them down as well when they are caught by cops but are guilty as hell themselves..)

They get off on playing with peoples emotions, and having power over them; also some people enjoy driving a wedge between others/ spreading hate and/or are always jealous/dissatisfied.

the predatory competitiveness is sometimes associated with "lad culture" but I've seen girls do it as well.

It makes people like me who try to be decent initially mistrustful, wary of strangers and virtually beleiving real love no longer exists in this world apart for from a few very lucky people..

Incidentally this may seem like "soppy hippy stuff" but I've always believed that because I live alternative/extreme lifestyles I have to have more real honesty and integrity in my life to "balance" some of the things I do or have done in my life (like drugs, crime, lying constantly to my relatives when I was younger about raving).


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  #38  
Old 06-06-2006, 07:24 PM
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I was going out with a guy when i was 17 - 20! it was long term, i was faithful to start with, i went to ibiza on a girls holiday, like you do, he was apparantly cool about it, i went over there just partied and that was all. He cheated on me whilst i was there! I came back, knew something was wrong straight away and rumbled him! BASTARD!!!! then we stayed together for about another year or so! i cheated on him after this time! and i really dont agree with it! all i can put it down to is that i was trying to get him back! good job i left him, as ive just heard that hes just been locked up for being violent and beating someone to a pulp! which incidently is the reason i got rid of him anyway!! there, this is the first time i have ever opened up about any of it!!! know it sounds a bit matter of fact, but if i dwell on it too much, ill prob get too emotional!
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  #39  
Old 06-06-2006, 07:28 PM
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Never, which can't be said for the other half. Not only that but it was a lot closer to home than just shagging a mate, i'll say no more on that subject. I have had 'offers' whilst in a relationship but my immediate instinct was to say I have a girlfriend. Even though I have been cheated on I still don't think it's any excuse for me to do the same.
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  #40  
Old 06-06-2006, 07:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by triix
I was going out with a guy when i was 17 - 20! it was long term, i was faithful to start with, i went to ibiza on a girls holiday, like you do, he was apparantly cool about it, i went over there just partied and that was all. He cheated on me whilst i was there! I came back, knew something was wrong straight away and rumbled him! BASTARD!!!! then we stayed together for about another year or so! i cheated on him after this time! and i really dont agree with it! all i can put it down to is that i was trying to get him back! good job i left him, as ive just heard that hes just been locked up for being violent and beating someone to a pulp! which incidently is the reason i got rid of him anyway!! there, this is the first time i have ever opened up about any of it!!! know it sounds a bit matter of fact, but if i dwell on it too much, ill prob get too emotional!
blah

guys like this are not worth having; well done for getting away before he hospitalised you [well i hope you did] and well done for getting away at all

move on and find a nicer guy; you should never let a person abuse you be it mentally, emotionally or physically; you are worth far more than being someone's whipping post


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  #41  
Old 06-06-2006, 07:40 PM
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thanx, yeah i did, he did threaten me, more verbally than anything else and hit me once. Once was enough, i finished him after that glad i did now! hes just had this outburst about seven years later!! im chuffed, that could of been me he had beaten to a pulp!
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  #42  
Old 06-06-2006, 08:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by triix
thanx, yeah i did, he did threaten me, more verbally than anything else and hit me once. Once was enough, i finished him after that glad i did now! hes just had this outburst about seven years later!! im chuffed, that could of been me he had beaten to a pulp!
hope they throw away the key
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  #43  
Old 06-06-2006, 08:08 PM
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so do i, but hell prob only get a year you know what the justice system is like!
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  #44  
Old 06-06-2006, 08:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by triix
so do i, but hell prob only get a year you know what the justice system is like!
rarely systematic and not very just
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  #45  
Old 06-06-2006, 08:37 PM
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exactly! put it this way, it hasnt done me any favours!
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  #46  
Old 06-06-2006, 09:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by triix
exactly! put it this way, it hasnt done me any favours!
i agree with you on that; its done no one i know any
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  #47  
Old 06-06-2006, 10:03 PM
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I've always been faithvel to my loved ones.
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  #48  
Old 06-06-2006, 10:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by scifiphoto
I've always been faithvel to my loved ones.
well done;
i only two-timed a person once and that was to take up with the person i am still with now 12 years later; as soon as i could i finished the previous relationship so as not to be in that position
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  #49  
Old 07-06-2006, 01:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by triix
thanx, yeah i did, he did threaten me, more verbally than anything else and hit me once. Once was enough, i finished him after that glad i did now! hes just had this outburst about seven years later!! im chuffed, that could of been me he had beaten to a pulp!
you did the right thing there and got out

there should be no tolerance whatsoever for controlling/lying/predatory behaviour in relationships.

Sadly a lot of cheats are also bullies as well, both to their partners and also to others they can overpower (you will often find these types go down not just for domestic violence but also for deceptions which turns into violent robbery when someone stands up to them)

it is not manly, it is fucking pathetic and something which must be purged from our so-called "liberal Western society" before we have the right to call ourselves that.

I hope it doesn't affect the way you look at other potentially decent blokes though. I meet far too many girls these days who have been messed around by previous men (often at a young age) and their trust/self-esteem has been so destroyed that all their future relationships never last..

also I get the impression some lads today (not all though) have the same attitude to girls as my fathers generation did - as if womens emancipation never happened or has been slapped down by a 90s post-modernist backlash...
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  #50  
Old 29-06-2006, 12:20 PM
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i was with one lad for almost 18 months and towards the end he got to be a propa bag pill-head - like 20 a night, so i went off him and got with like 4 different lads towards the end of going out with him, i know it was wrong and i wont do it again with ma current bf x
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