Friends... Really JUST friends?

[Stealth B52]

We're talking about the safety of children and the comfort of parents to leave their children in such a place....

If they didn't clear a check i would be happy leaving my child with them, in my view to an extent... And those little bit's of crime here and there... well maybe they were shop liftting because they had no money, kids are hungary, it's cold and raining and the electric has run out, no friends or family to help?... they can't work because they've got no-one to have the kids...

Maybe they saw shop lifting as their only option at that time to solve their problem but giving the people a chance to change and improve is the goal... their lifes, situations, views, optionions... the way things are...

Some people just need more help and support, you know, some people just need someone to talk too?... Now, i so don't think thats to much to ask from anyone... some people at times are just so lost, confused and down... usually the effects after a seriously event in their life, they just need a little help but their your let down by people, agencies and the councils etc around them... they know they can't help there selfs... and there so clearly asking.

There would be Registered Child Minders, how ever many needed in law at all times taking care of the kids so first of the parents who want to work can without leaving their self's skint with normal charges, a small charge which could be covered completely by the Government/ Council would be great as it would mean the place wouldn't need constant large amounts of funding each year to operate... While the children are on the premises, and off course all parents would know that people are training on there children to recieve a NVQ 3 qualification or something in child care, which in one way it would cut down on the amount of paid staff the place would require and hopefully benefit all invoved?... A little bit of a group effort and it could work! I think worth a try!

But i so don't know where we would stand with that... suppose it depend how much we can do or get around... Their training in childcare, not actually doing the caring? Or i suppose they could volunteer and under take the course... I don't know... not thought of it to the extent, not that complete... i got distracted by the youth launch and a couple of other projects... just need more time... i have all the information or at least access to it and gaining contacts to be able to pull it off. with some luck!

But i know 100% that it would be as much as possible wihin the law...camera's and all...

And at work... bless... we're there to deal with problems... not the other way around. Work is so big enough to deal with issues when they become serious concern it's self... no, it's fantastic how it is.. No, great, from when i started, it was a cold horrible dark and negative place, not the staff, the surroundings and the way people where, there coming in with problems to sit in a quiet waiting room thats all dark and just ooh... are damn it was near depressing... i started on reception... From day one i change that place, music! i found a radio and put radio one on, lifted my mood and got chatting to everyone that came in, about all sorts, biscuits to the kids and tea for the old people while they waited... Eventuallt i think it stated costing them to much in teas, they put a tea/ coffe machine in reception... but the atmosphere improve.. it's not work, it's going down for a chat.. No i've changed my job since then but still to sit in a room taking on and dealing with someones problem, just coming out and hearing some music and having them to take the piss... moral is at it's best there, which shows in the amount of people willing to give up there time.


"Criminal Behaviour" - Life is criminal... your'll have to explain your view on Criminal slightly more... now's there's criminal which is just so not right and sometimes pure evil but on a hole i think and so believe that pretty much everyone is involved in some type of Criminal behave... in Law. It's all criminal...

And your view on 30, 40 year olds is a new one to me and appriciated... it's another option/ view on things for a group of society that i've not really considred.

"major civil conflict"

Yeah, i like that... sound about right.

[General Lighting]

I'm glad to see that your plans would give a pragmatic view towards those with a "non-blank" CRB file!

I understand why the CRB procedure is needed (IMO its actually needed to protect kids against middle englanders with dark pasts and dark values than petty "criminals") but its presence (particularly showing up minor stuff like cautions) deters a lot of people from voluntary work because they would have to get this extra file produced about them and their past, there is always the danger once the info is "out of the bag" other prospective employers could find out about it and it then affects your future for potential paid work.

The section of society which mostly owns private business believes in the "best of the best" and that there are "plenty of surplus people" - and for many business owners there is "no such thing as rehabilitation".

A recent news report said that 40% of employers would refuse to employ an ex-offender, even if their conviction was spent.

Ironically, many of these self-same business owners indulge in questionable ethical practices themselves; defrauding customers by selling sub-standard items, not delivering on time or to acceptable quality levels, and in particular evading the correct taxes (which pay for public services) or not complying with environmental legislation (Britain is in many respects a nation of "del boys" rather than "small shopkeepers")

As for crime, my definition of it is a simply behaviour that hurts another individual in some non-trivial way, not the political dogma of a nations laws...

for instance someone who uses physical force for reasons other than self-defence is definitely a criminal, as would be someone who drives at 60mph through a school zone at 3:00pm - or a person who breaks into a well-run ethical local business or a private home and steals a computer or trashes the place...

but not someone who takes drugs paid for with their own money, recovers an obviously abandoned computer from a disused building or drives at 85 in a 70 zone when traffic is light and weather conditions good..

[Stealth B52]

At time it can be classed as discrimination... not getting a job because of your record... but as with everything else there's a positive and a negative out come every time... in a way it does more good than bad?

Oh and you can still do voluntary work with a dirty criminal record... Go on... go down to your local voluntary bureau and find some way of helping your community... it'll do your soul the world of good

Business is a hard place... and no one trusts anyone... and faith and belief is almost dead... a leopard doesn't change it's spots...no faith, no-one really believes it can happen?

To people certain things are acceptable at certain times or situations in their life's... Business people seem to thing white collar crime is almost acceptable, but a crime is a crime... so shouldn't it all be acceptable if part is ok? all or nothing, no double standards and different rules for different people? why come down worse on people who want to smoke, there not ripping anyone off, paying their taxes, chilled at home... not in an office somewhere letting their greed for money consume them.

Your version of crimes is straight forward...

"a person who breaks into a well-run ethical local business or a private home and steals a computer" my ex husband done that to where i work, bloody twat! i swear it was to bug me... I always said he needed capping... Yeah... somethings are just wrong.... everyone knows there wrong... but some legally wrong things should, at least, be just be accepted as the norm.

[Dr Bunsen]

Lost a good friend some time ago when things got confused and haven't seen them since... shame really!

[vicky]

Originally posted by Site

Lost a good friend some time ago when things got confused and haven't seen them since... shame really!

what's the story there? - if you want to share it...

[Dr Bunsen]

It was just one of those things. There's nothing to tell but I'd still rather not go into on a public forum... :)

[globalloon]

Originally posted by General Lighting

out all the ravers I know who are parents (a fair number, nowadays) I only know of one who is in what I would call a conventional family with both parents present

would that be me? or can you make it two?

i know many proper party heads with well cared-for children and rich family life

(one question though, what do you do about people who won't "clear" a CRB check?

the results of CRB checks are only relevant if the crime is relevant: certain crimes carry penalties beyond prison (like crimes against minors)

Of course you someone with a history of domestic violence or other violent crime is not acceptable;

i know a very nice man who did 8 years for arson. i know another very gentle person who did 14 years of a 15 year sentance for murder, then lived a responsible, crime-free life under an assumed name for almost 20 years. he's now doing another 4 for escaping, thanks to a star reporter.

both of these people committed acts that they were deeply regretful of

the 'arsonist' had lost both of his (foster) parents in the space of a month and set fire to the curtains by his bed in a children's home, where he was taken after his foster father was killed in a car crash

the 'muderer', aged 21, was sleeping rough in London in the late 60's. one night, after being given acid he was approached by a man who tried to have sex with him. he hit the man, who fell and hit his head on the road and died as a result of the injuries.

the results of a CRB check would give you only dark names for people who have already been punished

it's not a good way to judge people

a persons background is a lot more complex than a record

and that's all i'm going to write tonight

(while listening to Orbital)

[Stealth B52]

Something and nothing!

Funny things arn't they... and usually mean the other...

Swear, i am miss negative... but i still think that even after a situation, and i might even consider going as far to say ever sitation... given enough time and space, and enough effort put into communicating and understanding.. straight up honest talk... it can be over come...

But it's always important to remember that talking and chatting are two different things...
I think that if feeling are mutual and there is enough care respect and love between people in relationships and friendships then anything is possible...

I am negative, most male friends i've had and have got have tried it on... told me that there in love with me and all that but, the ones i haven't been able to get over are the ones that have made it an absolute no go situation... Sadly to say last week i broke up a friendship and will not have any communitaction with this person purly because the situation he put me in... he had a partner and has been putting pressure on me telling me that he doesn't like the thought of me with anyone else, emotional blackmail, i don't play games and am always to the point... i had a blow up and explained the game to him and everything that i found unacceptable and as far as i'm concerned... i can't accept someone as a friend especially as i know how he treats his girlfriend, time and time again, i've said i don't want to hear it... so being honest i'd dealt with it long enough.... i lost all the respect that i had for him

But on the other hand... i had another friend about 6 months ago write me a love letter, 5 pages, but we were both single (i always am) and he wasn't disrespecting anyone... thats want made the difference for me... i think if i did have a partner and someone tried it on then that would also be fully unacceptable... in the first blokes case... i think because it wasn't me that had the partner then i saw it as not my problem and over time it was... well just unacceptable and i think things like that are totaly unfair on all involved and for someone else to put you in it that...!

But suppose now when we do end up talking months or yeasr down the line, the boundaries are set... they now without a doubt fully understand whati see as being acceptable and unacceptable!

I know, i always talk shit... but if your not going to talk... your quite likely to read this... and if any scenerio rings true then or even not... then just remember... true friends, they hold a part of your soul as you do there's and there's nothing like a complete soul... could tring to make contact be the worest thing in the world?... i think not... in fact sweetie, i know not!

Go on... give us a big SMILE xx

[devang]

The prime fact is that the males gets attracted with women sexuality very fast, like by seeing her skirt, the colour of her skit, her shape of body, her cut (want me to explain?), and sometimes just the eye gaze! but they do get attracted sexually first towards a woman and then the rest of the feelings like friendship, love or whatever comes.

what exactly you mean by asking for being JUST friends? Can't you be friends even with your dance or sex partner? you can for sure. Friendship means sharing your stuffs with other person, no matter male or female. As long as you can share, you are friends. But when possesions strikes on either of the person, friendship starts losing its meaning.

And never stuck to few people for making friends. Try to find new and new people, after all sharing emotions never ends. So keep on making new friends. If you get frustrated sometime, just tell yourself that there are many new and finer people are waiting for your friendship.

Voila... shall we dance then now? ok I'm jumping.... how about you?

[TK-421]

i've mostly always had female friends.. men half the time are assholes.. always thinking with there gonads, drinking beer and driving around in there suped up novas ( wankers ) , and singing stupid songs when drunk on mass and picking a fight with anything that moves cause they think they are hard!

women are complex but most of the time much more fun as friends.... i have male friends but women can talk better:) but its nice to have a guy to chat so after the women just so u can turn back into being a man...

unless like me you also have female friends who act like dudes sometimes.:)

but in answer yes you can have long standing friendships with women ( and hot ones to ) that even though you wonder hummm would she be a really good bonk? , you respect them as friends and don't want to ruin it...

thats my 50p

[Angel]

Is it worth it ? you risk to loose a good freind...What the heck..Maybe it is,dont know..have never tried your choice

[kirsti]

i think you can be friends with the opposite sex, the only mate i have which i have never and wouldnt dream of doing anything with is some 1 i grew up with all the way thru school and he lives 5 mins away from me now, both of us feel the same and would never see each other in a sexual way at all, its wierd cos i have other friends who i havent fancied but have had feelings for, like i want them to like me like it is a game of attraction, i wouldnt ever take it to far as i am in a relationship but still its nice to feel wanted, lusted after, k x

[Agent Subby]

Originally posted by BioTech

I've got a few female friends who I'd call 'just friends' but i'd be lying (and most males would I think) if I said that the thought has never run through my head. I think it's just natural to run thoughts like that through your head, but it doesn't mean that it would be an ever present thought in my mind at all.

Ditto

[mr-t33]

There's only 3 ways a guy can legitimately be a girl's friend:

1) He's gay
2) He's not attracted to you
3) He's dating someone higher up on the ladder

If your guy friend doesn't fall into one of those categories, chances are he'd love to bang you at any given moment.

[Angel]

Originally posted by mr-t33

There's only 3 ways a guy can legitimately be a girl's friend:

1) He's gay
2) He's not attracted to you
3) He's dating someone higher up on the ladder

If your guy friend doesn't fall into one of those categories, chances are he'd love to bang you at any given moment.

:)

[TK-421]

no i really dont agree with that statement....

i for 1 am not gay,

2, i was attracted to a few of my female friends but its a respect thing something that a LOT ok MOST of the younger generation just dont have!

3, i was in love with my wife so the thought of ANYTHING never even crossed my mind as being faithfull it the most important thing in any relationship...

and trying to say that someone is dating somone higher up the ladder? well thats you might just as well get out the darn catalog and pick a bloddy woman.... jees/

women are people,, they are the only sex that can actually reproduce, they are FAR more loyal as friends than men, yes sometimes they screw with your head and really lay it on the blokes but so do guys!

Ive been out of the dating scene for a while but now im divorced its hard trying to get in to it again as ALL the people are into speed dating IE go out and have a fun night then go home for a quick shag to see if your compatable.. WOW no thx.. what happened to all the talking for a month and getting to know someone....

my best friends are woman and i respect them far to much to even considder sleeping with them and ive seen them naked! humph! its just a no go you dont think of TRUE friends like that!

most the the younger men in the pubs/clubs/raves/parties now a days just treat women like a peice of ass and its disgusting!...bah.. now i need a coffee... rave on!

or shold i say rant on...

[Raj]

i think it is possible to have friends of the opposite sex you dont ever sleep with/ shag

its not very likely that the thought never crosses your mind- thats a genetic drive
its what you do about it that is the point - i do nothing about it and my friends all have a similar attitude to me which helps

we do tend to deal with it as an up front issue and get it out of the way nice and early; its not unknown for several people to end up asleep in a heap at parties due to advanced wreckage status and this is totally safe for everyone involved

it does require emotional maturity and respect for the other people which is sadly lacking in many folk - to the point where they will even make advances on people who are obviously part of a couple

this can be really annoying when your partner is standing next to you as you are peeling off the unwanted propositioner - fortunately my partner trusts me implicitly and vice versa - otherwise many arguements would have ensued from both sides

i dont get this behaviour at all - you tell them point blank you are not interested and they just carry on being endless about it - why can they not just take the hint and p*ss off when you make it clear you are not interested? i get royally fed up of having to rescue or be rescued from people who know who my partner is or to rescue my friends, who are in relationships, from unwanted sexual advances from random muppets

its just so bloody RUDE when the muppets wont take the hint and persist in hassling the obviously uninterested party

* Raj stops ranting [at least for a bit anyway]

[TK-421]

raj do me a favour dont rescue me.. im in need of a good woman :) if you see a acceptable female chatting me up JUST LET THEM lol...

as i trust your judgement :) and yes i know DUMP MY EX lolo...

[Raj]

Originally posted by TK-421

raj do me a favour dont rescue me.. im in need of a good woman :) if you see a acceptable female chatting me up JUST LET THEM lol...

as i trust your judgement :) and yes i know DUMP MY EX lolo...

you are definetely available mate and i would just egg them on

i wont rescue you unless she is a total disaster area

[Angel]

Originally posted by raj

you are definetely available mate and i would just egg them on

i wont rescue you unless she is a total disaster area

LOL

[Angel]

Originally posted by raj

i wont rescue you unless she is a total disaster area

I guess i have no chance here

[Raj]

Originally posted by angel

I guess i have no chance here

get yourself over here and find out

[TK-421]

WOOT potential date

[Angel]

Originally posted by raj

get yourself over here and find out

I would just love to visit..

Cold shower,cold shower,cold shower

Damn Raj dont say somthing like that,i am human you know..

[Raj]