Talk to Cliffy

[DJCliffy]

Seeing as PartyVibe is now one of the leading forums in sex and dating, relationships etc, I am going to offer my services to those that need advice in such areas. I shall strive to deliver honest frank advice in the only way i know how.

Talk to Cliffy is here for you.


(Disclaimer - Some advice will be of a humorus nature. Please don't be offended and please know i don't accept cheques)

[DaftFader]

who ever made this a sticky needs shooting (in the nicest way possible) .. only bad things can become of cliff with power

[p0ly]

dear sir master cliffy, i need your advice!! i met this gnome in b&q and we hit it off real good. so basically we got chatting and of course my home address came up, i didnt know what to say but i gave my correct address and hoped id be left alone............ this gnome has been stalking me everywhere! what shall i do?

[Angel]

Got a problem too

My bf lives in London, and I really miss him a lot some nights alone in bed

Do you have private sessions about 10pm

[DJCliffy]

Originally posted by p0lygon-Window

dear sir master cliffy, i need your advice!! i met this gnome in b&q and we hit it off real good. so basically we got chatting and of course my home address came up, i didnt know what to say but i gave my correct address and hoped id be left alone............ this gnome has been stalking me everywhere! what shall i do?

Well polygon there are many things that you can do. My own personal advice would be for you to plant several anti-personnel landmines in and around the spaces on your property where a stalker would most likely watch from. Invest in a night vision enabled M107 .50 Caliber Long Range Sniper Rifle. Install two high powered spotlights to blind your target and then take him out. I hope this helps.

[DJCliffy]

Originally posted by Angel

Got a problem too

My bf lives in London, and I really miss him a lot some nights alone in bed

Do you have private sessions about 10pm

I do.

[Angel]

I'll send you my mail

Do you use webcam too?

I really really miss him

[!sinner69!]

Originally posted by Angel

I'll send you my mail

Do you use webcam too?

I really really miss him

this is love by proxy...HA HA!

[DaftFader]

angel i though we were suposed to be keeping this a secrit

[DJCliffy]

Originally posted by Angel

I'll send you my mail

Do you use webcam too?

I really really miss him

Aww why don't you fly over and see him?

(I don't have a webcam, not after someone hacked into my computer and starting watching me, he made me call him dave, I didn't like it)

[Angel]

will you stop following me DF..

i told you i dont love you no more..

Cliffy on the other hand


























*Angel should log off for today before giving herself problems*

[Angel]

Originally posted by DJCliffy

(I don't have a webcam, not after someone hacked into my computer and starting watching me, he made me call him dave, I didn't like it)

LMAO

[DaftFader]

Originally posted by Angel

will you stop following me DF..

i told you i dont love you no more..

Cliffy on the other hand


























*Angel should log off for today before giving herself problems*

cliffy is bad enough when he only using one ay his hands let alone two ..

[Angel]

you guys are soooooooo silly

[DaftFader]

Originally posted by Angel

you guys are soooooooo silly

so you were being serious?

[Angel]

Originally posted by DaftFader

so you were being serious?

[p0ly]

Originally posted by DJCliffy

Well polygon there are many things that you can do. My own personal advice would be for you to plant several anti-personnel landmines in and around the spaces on your property where a stalker would most likely watch from. Invest in a night vision enabled M107 .50 Caliber Long Range Sniper Rifle. Install two high powered spotlights to blind your target and then take him out. I hope this helps.

i took your advice and i came into some problems. the first one is i now have a dead postman on my front garden the second is i thought i saw the gnome sneaking around near my house so i used my m107 on him....... it happened to be verne troyer!

[MisterDuck]

cliffy, i have relationship problems. the problem is i have no relationship. i would love a relationship mainly for the regular sex and financial leeching. however when i tell girls this they call me a horrible shallow human being. could you find me a rich, attractive girl who is not intelligent enough to notice thousands of pounds going missing each week?

[DJCliffy]

Originally posted by p0lygon-Window

i took your advice and i came into some problems. the first one is i now have a dead postman on my front garden the second is i thought i saw the gnome sneaking around near my house so i used my m107 on him....... it happened to be verne troyer!

Well the postman might be a problem. I'd get yourself some lime and a wooden handled shovel. Take the body out into the woods and dig a hole about 8 feet deep. Line it with the lime and throw the postman in. I saw this on the sopranos so it must be how you dispose of bodies. Verne troyer you should turn into a living statue to ward off any future gnome attacks. hope this helps.

[DJCliffy]

Originally posted by boothy

cliffy, i have relationship problems. the problem is i have no relationship. i would love a relationship mainly for the regular sex and financial leeching. however when i tell girls this they call me a horrible shallow human being. could you find me a rich, attractive girl who is not intelligent enough to notice thousands of pounds going missing each week?

I can help you here. Find yourself a singles night where the male population is minimal. Find a rich lonely old spinster who smells slightly of wee. Approach said lady and woo. Within 6 months you'll be written into her will. Then you should enrol her into various extreme sporting activities. Sooner or later you'll come into a substantial amount of money.

[p0ly]

Originally posted by DJCliffy

Well the postman might be a problem. I'd get yourself some lime and a wooden handled shovel. Take the body out into the woods and dig a hole about 8 feet deep. Line it with the lime and throw the postman in. I saw this on the sopranos so it must be how you dispose of bodies. Verne troyer you should turn into a living statue to ward off any future gnome attacks. hope this helps.

i have a little bit of trouble with the postmans body... the land mine made it blast into pieces and his arm seems to be on someones roof across the road! how should i go about getting it back?

[DJCliffy]

Originally posted by p0lygon-Window

i have a little bit of trouble with the postmans body... the land mine made it blast into pieces and his arm seems to be on someones roof across the road! how should i go about getting it back?

Get yourself a hunting eagle to retrieve the arm.

[DaftFader]

i have a problem .. i have 6 toes ... but one is on my left hand so i kainda have 6 fingues .. 2 of witch thumbs .. but one thumb is biger and smells of cheese .. what should i do ?

[p0ly]

Originally posted by DJCliffy

Get yourself a hunting eagle to retrieve the arm.

thx cliffy, uve got me out of a sticky situation

[DJCliffy]

Originally posted by DaftFader

i have a problem .. i have 6 toes ... but one is on my left hand so i kainda have 6 fingues .. 2 of witch thumbs .. but one thumb is biger and smells of cheese .. what should i do ?

Join a travelling circus. Become part of the freak community. You'll soon become a legend and have your pick of the hairy woman.