Talk to Cliffy

[GiantMidget]

Originally posted by boothy

cliffy, i'm going out tonight with a girl, its definately potential, but i only have one condom

should i:

1. only go one time (and not leave as good impression)
2. use clingfilm or a crisp packet as a subsitute
3. stop assuming that the night will end in sexy times

Well ideally you shouldn't spunk your load straightaway. You should try and make it last for as long as possible, if you feel like you're about to 'lose' it then stop, count to 10 and then carry on, fight the urge mate cos it will be well worth it and that way you won't need another rubber. Then again i would pick number 3, that way if it doesn't happen you won't care but if it does then it's a bonus innit.

[MisterDuck]

i can make that one time last, but by spendin the night together i mean entire night, which means multiple sexy times

there is a fourth option which is that i get her preggers

number 3 your right, i'm actually takin the piss wit these posts, i dont really care about sex i like her a lot as potential relationship... aaah i sound so sad when i say that!

[GiantMidget]

Originally posted by boothy

i can make that one time last, but by spendin the night together i mean entire night, which means multiple sexy times

there is a fourth option which is that i get her preggers

number 3 your right, i'm actually takin the piss wit these posts, i dont really care about sex i like her a lot as potential relationship... aaah i sound so sad when i say that!

You could get her pregnant but also you could get something else as well. I went out with this bird a while back, went bareback on her and got a std, you would never think it to look at this bird either as she was a proper good girl if you know what i mean. Anyway don't risk it mate, ain't worth it.

As for spending the night together, if it does kick off then spend a bit of time on foreplay, don't dive in straightaway, find out what she likes and have fun mate!

But if you like this girl then don't worry about the sex part just yet, just have fun together innit. Don't come on too strong as well cos sometimes this freaks girls out but most importantly don't fall into the friend zone with her, this is not what you want!! Let us know how you get on fella!

[greenelf]

Dear DJCliffy,

I made myself single again 2 nights ago, then yesterday I handed my notice in and am moving back near London, it means living with my parents for a bit while I find my own place, I wanna find some sexy people to live near who will provide hours of entertainment at no cost... Should I just open my own sex shop or would I be teh fail? I mean, I'd make some cash rather than lose it right? :D

[GiantMidget]

Originally posted by the dj

Dear DJCliffy,

I made myself single again 2 nights ago, then yesterday I handed my notice in and am moving back near London, it means living with my parents for a bit while I find my own place, I wanna find some sexy people to live near who will provide hours of entertainment at no cost... Should I just open my own sex shop or would I be teh fail? I mean, I'd make some cash rather than lose it right? :D

Moving down this way are ya, fair play! Dunno about the sex shop idea though, i mean sure they are cool and cater for alot of people with weird fetishes but you're probably better off waiting till the economy stabilizes before embarking on such a high risk venture.

How about a travelling sex shop?

[p0ly]

Originally posted by the dj

I wanna find some sexy people to live near who will provide hours of entertainment at no cost...

Cliffy is pretty damn sexy

though it's a two drink minimum so he is at a cost

[greenelf]

Haaaaaaaaaaa PW!

Yep Cliffy, I'm moving back towards your general direction... Though aren't you up near Potters Bar or something? I can't remember. And by the way, I need you to send me a text with 'cliffy' in it because my phone is at the menders (still) and I lost everyone's numbers. I'm also switching to the contract number next week, be nice to have someone else nearish by to say hello to, can't if I can't ring you til I hear yer phone ringing and know where you live... *whistle of innocence*

[greenelf]

Ooh and...

Dear DJ Cliffy,

My bed is sort of empty. This is a bit of a problem. I'm stuck with the child til wednesday, what do you suggest I do to fill it? The bed, not fill the child...

[p0ly]

blow up doll?

[GiantMidget]

Originally posted by the dj

Haaaaaaaaaaa PW!

Yep Cliffy, I'm moving back towards your general direction... Though aren't you up near Potters Bar or something? I can't remember. And by the way, I need you to send me a text with 'cliffy' in it because my phone is at the menders (still) and I lost everyone's numbers. I'm also switching to the contract number next week, be nice to have someone else nearish by to say hello to, can't if I can't ring you til I hear yer phone ringing and know where you live... *whistle of innocence*

Haha i like it! Basically i'm located right next to St Albans, But yeah no worries i shall send you a text in a minute,

Originally posted by the dj

Ooh and...

Dear DJ Cliffy,

My bed is sort of empty. This is a bit of a problem. I'm stuck with the child til wednesday, what do you suggest I do to fill it? The bed, not fill the child...

Depends what sort of bed it is, If it's a water bed then i'd fill it with water.

If it's a normal bed then you could always find someone to share it with. I got a new double bed recently, i love it, well comfy!

[p0ly]

YouTube - bed's too big without you

[greenelf]

Cheers Cliffy - it's taking you ages to get dressed, what gives? Send me the pic text already!!!

My double futon is new, only had it about 3 weeks. I love it. It's almost as good as the sofa cushions I was sleeping on for the month that I waited for it!

Dear DJ Cliffy,

It's gonna be a long weekend...

It's really gonna be a long weekend...

Fuck me, it's gonna be boring...

[GiantMidget]

Haha i'm trying to send it, keeps saying 'message failed no response' Me no understand!! I'm gonna be boring and send you it on here.

i know what you mean about the boring weekend. There's so much on and i have no money, the real kicker is i get paid on monday. So unfair!!

[greenelf]

It could be because I was on the phone...

Oops. Feel free to try again, otherwise on here it'll have to be...

[greenelf]

Dear DJ Cliffy...

I'm horny and I'M HORNY HELP!