Bullying

[General Lighting]

sorry to hear about this...

its unfortunately quite a common situation in the workplace, particularly when the manager feels threatened by younger and more capable staff.

Check your organisations "grievance procedure", and then as PaulM says write to the higher management. include statements from witnesses and factual details of the incidents.

Check also what happens to your stores CCTV tapes; they may show the two of you together and it is possible to work out from body language whether a confrontation is developing..

If you are a member of a trade union (or can join one without getting in more shit which sadly isn't the case these days for many people) get their representatives involved as well.

There is way too much of this bullshit going on in business today (it gets worse at top management level, or with some smaller organisations where the business owner is the bullying managers, and it is quite frankly fucking up Britain big time. Ever wondered why our companies like Rover, Marconi end up in such a mess, going bust etc? much of this is due to dysfunctional management keeping themselves in power at the expense of their staff..

You are totally in the right here - you are carrying out a legitimate activity which benefits society and have the full force or the law behind you.

Best of luck.....

[missMushed]

the new manager came into a really good working team, we didnt have a manager for a couple of months and had gotten use to doing everything off our own initiative. He came in and was good for a few weeks till he got to know us. Then it akll started, he became very insulting towards a gay member of staff, always demeaning him fdor being gay and giving him all the shit jobs, and then would come on to the girls. In the end i decided to leave and gave my reasons which included the harrasment we received for the new manager. All the other memebers of staff followed suit and he got the sack.

Saw him a couple of months ago all fat and ugly working in a call center! Hardly management now! hee hee!

Good luck!

[skattyasfuk]

I wish I could check the cctv tapes but unless I think she is stealing or there is a sign up I am not aloud to. That is another thing which SHE has been doing(to see if im doing my job properly) so I downloaded the data protection act and its against the law.

[sambo303]

Do as Gen Lighting says - check out your company's grievence procedure. I used this a couple of months ago at my work where I was being bullied - ignored, denigrated in front of colleagues etc by my ex-boss ( I have been promoted to her level & she hates it).

My co was really supportive. Have you got an HR dept? They will help you. Or join the union and take action!!!

I am glad my ex-boss was such a bitch - I have learnt a lot from the experience and I am a stronger, better person & manager now. See this as a learning experience & TRY HARD NOT TO LET HER GET TO YOU.

Rise above it cos u are a better person than she can be - I now laugh at my sad pathetic ex boss who is so insecure she thinks it's ok to behave like a 2 year old. Ha ha ha.

Wherever you work I'm afraid you will probably encounter someone of this ilk - you might as well use the situation to your advantage and learn from the experience. Keep in mind why you go to work - to get money to enjoy life, and pity those who only have work in their lives!!!

Good luck!

[slider]

I agree with the other folks. Don't stand for it. Your company may well have a confidential contact line so use it if you can. Otherwise talk to a union rep if you have one.

The link below will help

http://www.acas.org.uk/publications/al05.html

Don't run from the situation - it might be hard not to but some other poor sod will become the next target.

If you need help contact me.

Slider

[skattyasfuk]

Thats really helpful Thank you

[skattyasfuk]

Hi,
I would just like to say thanx for everyones advice, as always telling somebody helps!! I actually told my area manager today and she said that that behavour is completely unacepable and she is going to sort it out. So there you go the insicure bully is going down. Thank you.

[skattyasfuk]

And the weekend is here Ave IT!!

[pixiefied]

my girlfriend used to work in some data imput place, and the boss incharge there, hazel, was a proper bitch. summin seriously wrong with her. the whole office seem such a shitty place to work, it was dead clicky and the boss had her clicky reptilian mates that used to sit at the front and also used to try bullyin people. there was loads of gossip and back stabbing all the time. it was mostly middle aged woman that worked there cept for gfriend who was about 20 at the time. the boss used to pick on her really bad, not that she was bothered, she just got on with it. but she used to scream at her across the office infront of everyone if she made any mistakes. while at the same time her nephew who was apparently really incompitent got away with everything.
in the end the company closed that office down and offered everyone a transfer to another office in the next town, the boss got offered a transfer, but not as a boss, just as a normal worker. ha which she declined.
last i heard her husband had gone bankrupt and they were well in the shit.
aww shame aint it.

[Stealth B52]

Hay, i just want to make sure you've covered your back...

Once they have been employed for one month, all employees are entitled to a written statement of terms and conditions. From 1 October 2004, this statement must include details of the employer's grievance procedure. The employer can choose how s/he gives these details to the employees, for example, in the contract of employment or as a letter setting out the procedures.

Have you been employed for over a year? and do you have an employment contract?

Under the standard grievance procedure, the employee must send the employer a written statement of grievance, or a copy of it. This is known as a Step one letter. A questionnaire, for example, in a potential discrimination case, does not constitute a statement of grievance. The employee must keep a copy of the letter and proof that it has been given to the employer, for example, s/he may wish to send it by registered post, or deliver it by hand and have someone witness the delivery.

The regulations do not set out how the employee must set out the reason for the grievance. The government has produced a draft standard letter which shows that a grievance letter should be signed and should include:-


1. the name of the employee
2. the name of the employer
3. the date
4. the date of the matter the employee is making the grievance about and
5. details of the actual grievance
6. a request for a meeting to discuss the matter.

By law... you need to follow complaint procedure... Put every bit of communication concerning problems in writting as proof just in case they turn around and dismiss you for a different reason... at least that way, you could still have a case for discrimination and unfair dismissal...
Between an Employment tribunal or ACAS... i would opt for the tribunal.

[skattyasfuk]

And the bullying goes on! My next step wil be to write a letter, I have told my area manager who in turn told my manager what I had said to her.
On monday morning me and my manager had a formal discussion which is supposed to involve somebody with a completely unbiased view taking notes, my manager had a person who was completely biased and on her side take notes. I had 2 people in the interview and was made to tell them both what my problem was, the person taking the notes also got involved in the discussion and made it quite clear that she was on her side! Appaerently if my area manager saw the notes she had taken she would rip it up and say it was just "tittle tattle". Needless to say my manager is denying everything. See I dont no what to do now really because to be fair she has been kind of nice to me these past couple of days, perhaps it was a case of her not realising her actions and now she has been told she may stop. Should I go through with the complaint or should I leave it and see if it starts to happen again?

[General Lighting]

Originally posted by skattyasfuk

And the bullying goes on! My next step wil be to write a letter, I have told my area manager who in turn told my manager what I had said to her.
On monday morning me and my manager had a formal discussion which is supposed to involve somebody with a completely unbiased view taking notes, my manager had a person who was completely biased and on her side take notes. I had 2 people in the interview and was made to tell them both what my problem was, the person taking the notes also got involved in the discussion and made it quite clear that she was on her side! Appaerently if my area manager saw the notes she had taken she would rip it up and say it was just "tittle tattle". Needless to say my manager is denying everything. See I dont no what to do now really because to be fair she has been kind of nice to me these past couple of days, perhaps it was a case of her not realising her actions and now she has been told she may stop. Should I go through with the complaint or should I leave it and see if it starts to happen again?

I'd monitor the situation and ensure that she is not just being nice in the short term.

as you have already "stirred the pot" though the other thing I would do is research your employers immediate competitors and see if they are hiring (check that they do not treat their staff in a worse manner though!). do not however let on you are looking for a new job because of bullying - say its because you want to progresss in your career! If the organisation as a whole is not prepared to be progressive and accept that young people can be good workers then maybe their payback could be seeing you become a manager at a rival store - and eat away at their takings!

is there a big age / culture difference between the two of you? a lot of older people automatically assume that the youth should "respect" them and many refuse to accept that young people have minds on their own - when they stand up for themselves they often whinge about "political correctness" and "lack of discipline".

[Stealth B52]

Not knowing your situation i can only advise on what i know... How long have you been employed there? what was concluded at the end of the meeting?... have you been given anything in writing?
I would say write the grevience letter... note down everything your not happy about and requesting a metting to try to clear the air at least that way the problem might stand a chance of getting sorted... Seriously, thats my best advise to you... it won't do no harm and if things go wrong then it'll help you!

[funny cat]

hey guys, just been reading this thread, me and my workmates have just complained to higher management about our 'assistant manager'...i'm pretty freaked now though, waiting for everything to explode in our faces...we're just sick of his shit though, he slags us all off to each other, gives us all his work then skives off, speaks to us like 3 yr olds, the list goes on, basically causes a lot of tension in the team....i guess i just wait for the explosion now!! we are so desperate though..HE DRIVES US INSANE!!!!!

[General Lighting]

Originally posted by funny cat

hey guys, just been reading this thread, me and my workmates have just complained to higher management about our 'assistant manager'...i'm pretty freaked now though, waiting for everything to explode in our faces...we're just sick of his shit though, he slags us all off to each other, gives us all his work then skives off, speaks to us like 3 yr olds, the list goes on, basically causes a lot of tension in the team....i guess i just wait for the explosion now!! we are so desperate though..HE DRIVES US INSANE!!!!!

without incriminating yourself, what sort of business is this and what ages are involved?

sadly I've found this to be a commonplace situation in smaller businesses where there are a lot of younger staff - or perhaps junior staff in their 20s and someone just slightly older but who still has a "laddish (or laddette") attitude

there's a lot of competition about particularly with the constant threat of downsizing/outsourcing to most businesses, everyone is trying to fight their corner

its got to the point where I prefer to work in organisations where the managers are in their middle years and a bit more conventionally-minded in their business management methods; even if it does mean I have to wear a tie or go to boring meetings... surprisingly enough particularly if they have more secure jobs it works better as they don't see you as a threat

I'm lucky though I work in a place where I am respected and also "left to get on with my job" without micromanagement (often though because managers aren't quite sure of the technical aspects of what I do!)

it could be a lot worse though - I've become aware of an incident where a falling out over a start up business has ended up in actual violence, and it looks like not only are there injuries and prison terms for people; the whole venture may fold and everyones dreams are fucked..

[funny cat]

well we work in a college and we are all early-mid twenties, he's about 30 and he's pretty much the opposite of laddish he's a gay man that has a liking for dressing like women! i know it could be worse but it's been such a long time and it makes work such a miserable place to be, i was going home crying this time last year.....i think our boss has actually gone to talk to him RIGHT NOW............EEEEEEKKK!!!!

[General Lighting]

Originally posted by funny cat

well we work in a college and we are all early-mid twenties, he's about 30 and he's pretty much the opposite of laddish he's a gay man that has a liking for dressing like women! i know it could be worse but it's been such a long time and it makes work such a miserable place to be, i was going home crying this time last year.....i think our boss has actually gone to talk to him RIGHT NOW............EEEEEEKKK!!!!

perhaps "laddish" was the wrong term, but just because he's gay wouldn't remove his competitive mentality which is what I am getting at (this equally applies to women in management positions who often bully subordinates of both genders)

there are plenty of aggressive gay men like that in the media industry where I used to work. as a straight male I had to be careful as well if I complained about their attitude as I could be accused of homophobia/intolerance...

Everything else fits in with this situation I described earlier and its a big problem in the education sector as there are a lot of strong personalities about, and everyone is trying to prove themselves. It needs to be stamped out though or the bad attitudes can carry through to the students...

[Andy Why?]

Eyup Skatty,
make a log of her behaviour as evidence before making any complaint. Not sure who you would complain to unless it is part of a chain. Do you really have to stop there? I know it is undesirable to give in to bullies, but sometimes it can be better to admit defeat. I suffered minor bullying (they probably didn't even recognise it as bullying) in previous job as machinist (like being at school again, not that I was bullied at school). I was laid off when downturn in economy occured (1998), prompting me to follow my dream. Started media degree, after two years had to get job and am now in process of finishing degree. Every cloud etc. I'm not saying college is the perfect answer for everyone, but I've now turned 40. I presume you are younger and could well find that there are better opportunities out there.
Keep smiling and DLTBGYD!

[shortylila]

I have to say I have been bullied in more than one of my work places before. In my first ever job I had the guy who owned the places daughter as an assistant manager. I was supposed to be a trainee travel consultant .. trainee being the word but i actually ended up training myself as I was made to dust shelves and all the stuff a cleaner should do. Anything I did was reported back to her daddy. She would put me down all the time in front of clients and everyone. I just sat back and took it but one day I was taken aside and told after 11 months and 2 days that I had done a fantastic job but they were letting me go. I was ready to let it go but my dad was not. We went to the CAB ( citizens advice Bureau) and they took on my case. I ended up settling out of court and got money i could have never got in court.

I then later on worked for another company and I ended up working for a manager who worked for the above company and she treated me like crap. Well she told in front of all the call centre staff that i had done something wrong when she should have taken me into another room. I had done nothing wrong but stand up for myself about a booking worth £12000 that I had loads of work on. She then said I was spoilt just because I got a lift to work from my folks because public transport was crap where I lived. She should have known she lived in the same place as me!!!

I complained to my managing director and he did nothing but set up a meeting with my manager.. she said she would do the same again... I gave up after being upset and depressed for 4 months and handed in my resignation. Loads of people did the same but looking back it was a cop out but I happy now.

It is different with different jobs depends what you think is the best though.

If I was you I would make her life hell she is obviously jealous of the good work you are doing but unfortunatly she has friends in the right places.

All I can say is keep at it babes ... the saying is true it is easier to find a job from a job xxxxxxxxxx

[bleedinears]

[quote]Increase your self-confidence. This may reduce your susceptibility to bullying, and make you feel better about yourself all round. . Well, speaking as a guy, I always wished I'd taken up a martial art as a kid, so by the time I got into the potential bullying time in my life, I knew how to handle my body, and knew what it was like trying to shift someone else's body weight around, and how to throw an effective punch, and shit like that basically. If someone knows you can handle yourself they are much less likely to give you any shit. I started trying to build my muscles up when I was 13, and I am quite strong now, but I still need to take up a martial art because I still don't know how to use my body effectively. I'm almost 22 btw, but as I said, you can get bullied at any point in your life, if you are a quiet introverted person like myself. [quote]

It has been quite sad reading all of these posts and silverfox has actually stated a very important point, in fact all the points raised have been valid, but i was going to suggest martial arts as it not only teaches you how to use your body but also gives you self confidence and as you say if people know you do it they tend to leave you alone. I am very fearful about bullying in schools - they extent to which these youngsters are prepared to go is shocking (today hearing about a girl repeatedly stabbed in the dinner queue) But i agree with GL here these are no longer 'kids' but a by-product of our society. As you say GL they are mini consumers and all that entails. I think the only way to tackle the situation is to just take the bull by the horns and adults take responsibility for the morality that is being instilled into the younger generation. CHILDREN (which ultimatley these young scalliwags are and should again be viewed as such). As you say GL they see violence as a 'norm' and all the role models are 'gangsters' for fucks sake. Anyway this rant has come from a mum who doesn't take shit from kids!! I see so many mums not laying down the law when they are young - this is where the problem stems from - RESPECT. Most of these little shits don't respect their mum, home etc so you can expect little else. but if the adults are not correcting this they don't know any different. sorry just realised i've digressed from the subject of martial arts into a rant on discipline to curb potential bullies. But yes silverfox i think you should pursue martial arts - as i say it will give you confidence! I have be teaching my son tae kwon do since he was 3. I think it is particularly important as although not by any means small he is very soft natured (except when jumping around shouting 'london acid city ')and could easily be targeted for this reason. So positive energy on both sides of the coin - for the bullies to be shown discipline and respect (people see that as whip cracking i actually think its positive - free thinking and rebellian should come when you've learnt how to swim with the current - then you can swim against it) and for the recipiants to engage in confidence building activities..


PLUR - Doing it the old skool way x t'rah

[skattyasfuk]

Hey, I have a new job!! One that is monday to friday! 9-5 cant wait I can actaully have a social life again and begin doing proper things at the weekend! I find myself just going to the local places coz I have work the next day!! Now I can do wot I want and if I want a weekend off I dont have to take is as part of my holiday! and I get all of the bank holidays off over xmas to! Happy new year to me!!

[General Lighting]

Originally posted by skattyasfuk

Hey, I have a new job!! One that is monday to friday! 9-5 cant wait I can actaully have a social life again and begin doing proper things at the weekend! I find myself just going to the local places coz I have work the next day!! Now I can do wot I want and if I want a weekend off I dont have to take is as part of my holiday! and I get all of the bank holidays off over xmas to! Happy new year to me!!

excellent news - it was such a shame you missed out on some of the parties in our area... I could never hack weekend working again (even though in IT it pays overtime rates) as I feel I work hard during the week and value my free time..

is it in retail as well? if its in the same product field you can also still get back at the woman who bullied you as you know your former employers strengths and weaknesses and can use them to advantage to take business from them (without giving away signs of obvious "industrial espionage")

[skattyasfuk]

No its at an estate agents im an admistrator so wont have to work weekends and I have also taken a £1,500 wage drop but my happiness and time are more important to me than any amount of money someone will pay me!
Im only going to be doing that for a while though (until next summer) as im hopefully going to be a childrens entertainer(redcoat,blue coat) at one of the holiday camps in England Butlins, haven etc! This is something I really want to do and of coarse it will be a 7 day a week job with rubbish pay but its something that I will love doing! Bouncing about like a looney on stage and having lots of fun!
Yep last weekend will be the last weekend I will ever have to work in a mindnumbing job watching a load of mindless shallow zombies walking about coz they cant think of anything better to do on a sunday! ahhhh man I have so many things planned for MY weekends and MY time!

[shortylila]

Congratulations on the new job babes you well deserve it. I work in an monday to friday 9-5.30 job and I swear to god I am never going back to working weekends! I am so much more relaxed since I got this job although I am the only girl working with a sex craved youngster and a deaf old bastard also a manager that dont know his arse from his elbow but still i get by and so look forward to the weekends.

It dont matter whether you have something on at the weekend or not you still look forward to it. I actually look forward to doing nothing but relaxing at home and staying in bed all weekend with my fella.

I hope things work out for you babes and follow your dreams... I plan to do that soon and try and get out of this so called great business people call travel... is not as good as you think .. in nearly 8 years the only perks of the job I have had is free pens and free scotrail travel ... yee haaa!!


Anyway babes good luck to you and glad things are going great finally for you.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[General Lighting]

IME the industries everyone wants to be part of are usually the worst for inter-colleague rivalry and destructive competitiveness if not actual bullying -
for 3 years I worked in the TV industry - although bullying wasn't that bad lots of the engineers all competed with one another rather than worked together (wasn't helped by modern business practices where organisations are encouraged to compete across business units for limited resources and work, and those who do not get enough are downsized)

I used to get service calls from one part of a national broadcaster saying a piece of equipment (which I had personally tested before despatch) was faulty; only to receive a further call an hour later from a very sheepish engineer admitting that another region had sabotaged the equipment because they had a similar bit of kit and wanted the work...

a few years ago, when me and my friends tried to do legal radio stations and raves the politics and backbiting was horrendous -there were near fights as stressful situations developed, and it was worse because everyone was supposedly friends so there wasn't the social barrier which would have prevented you kicking off at your normal workplace because you would have been disciplined or arrested...

its got better now but quite frankly IMO only because wider society wants to destroy the rave scene and people have been forced to work together...

on the garage/grime scene where there is more of a commercial ethos sabotaging of rival events is commonplace, anything from hoax bomb calls to staged fights, CS being let off, DJ's being beaten up and stabbings/shootings.

today I work for a public sector organisation, writing programs to and scripts to produce financial reports. this work is often boring; but everyone in the team is really sound, its such a boring job no one wants to take it off you unless they are really desparate....