It's hard getting your life back after smack

[p0ly]

what if u like drawing raccoons though =O

hahaha

[dollydaydream]

Originally posted by p0lygon-Window

what if u like drawing raccoons though =O

hahaha

Then ur fuked !!
DDDxx

[p0ly]

Originally posted by dollydaydream

Then ur fuked !!
DDDxx

u still doing good DDD?

[dollydaydream]

Im real good mate,finished the detox few months back and things are goin good.Not fuked up once and have no intentions of ever visitin that hell hole again.thanks for askin.
DDDxx

[joshd96320]

Originally posted by p0lygon-Window

what if u like drawing raccoons though =O

hahaha

draw a gnome

[p0ly]

Originally posted by dollydaydream

Im real good mate,finished the detox few months back and things are goin good.Not fuked up once and have no intentions of ever visitin that hell hole again.thanks for askin.
DDDxx

yeeeey

[dollydaydream]

Originally posted by joshd96320

draw a gnome

I HATE gnomes
DDDxxx

[p0ly]

you havent thought this through josh!!!!!!

[joshd96320]

i dont think anything through

[the1log]

I spent today out in town with a mate visiting flea markets etc. Bumped into a few junkies I know and they wanted me to buy a guitar off them that they had probably just nicked as it was still in the box and unwrapped.. I'm glad that i've stopped doing it cos stealing is the next step down for me now that i'm unempolyed. I've worn myself out quite well today so I should get to sleep ok. hope everyones doing ok anywayz.

[joshd96320]

good to hear your keeping strong :)

[DaftFader]

yeah glad you can see what could of been if you carried on down that road ... stay stong and rise above mate

[vincentx90]

as some of you already know, i was addicted to smack and whatever opiates i could get my hands on for a good few years. I got addicted to various other drugs during that period but nothing compared to the hell of opiate addiction/widthdrawal.

I'm 112 or so days since i stepped off opiates (finally subutex after methadone etc.).

It is still a struggle. But being on opiates is an even harder struggle. It sucks. It's horrid. It destroys relationships, families, friendships. You loose any sense of emotion and feelings towards yourself or others.

It's just such a horrible way to live. Don't go back there man!

...But if you have slipped up, don't beat yourself up about it, just have another brave go at getting clean and having a real life back with real feelings and real love and seeing the world for the beautiful place it so often is.

My heart really goes out to anyone struggling with opiate addiction. It really is a downright evil hook.

Personally, rightly or wrongly, I desperately need some weed to just help me through the last bit of my PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome). I really need that hour or two where I can get a break from this constant recovering but still opiate sick mind.

Instead i'm drinking alcohol and taking far too many sleeping pills. Surely I would be better off and safer with a little weed :(

Problem is i've moved down to Kent and have no contacts here and am scared of going out looking on the street for fear of being ripped off/mugged/etc...

Come on BMA get prescribing THC for opiate detox!!! I'm serious man, i'm in a state without any escape 24/7 from my opiate withdrawal twisted mind which is so painfully slowly returning to 'normal'.

[vincentx90]

people do say, get out as much as possible, and yes, up to a degree this helps but the w/ds have given me agoraphobia and I can't walk out of the house on my own, i have to wait for a flatmate to walk with me.

also with my autism (aspergers) i can only deal with a certain level of mild human interaction a day otherwise i start to get ill with stress...

and meanwhile the NHS does fuck all to help as usual, except putting me on methadone in the first place, which was the worst experience of my life, second only to the subutex and it's (also) protracted withdrawals.

[joshd96320]

dont try and substitute your old addiction with a new one... its not worth it! for something to do, try and beat the top scores in the partyvibe arcade :P

have a barbeque etc, get cooking! takes time, its fun and really rewarding!

your doing really well, you know its hard, we know its hard, and everyone knows you can do it :)

[p0ly]

i know to a degree how you feel about the weed but maybe it's a good thing you can't get any..... that's if u stop abusing the sleep pills and alcohol

[vincentx90]

i'm sorry guys but total bullshit....

if you think weed is a problem drug for anyone who has been an opiate/H addict and is going through withdrawals then you just haven't ever experienced it for yourself.

those two drugs are so far apart they might as well come from different planets

i have spent 116 days fighting my mind that it really is worth living and that this awful anhedonia will end eventually, this is HELL

if a bit of cannabis reduces that suffering then so be it!

instead, i am harming myself with increasingly large doses of alcohol and sleeping tablets, now i've progressed from scrumpy/beer/wine to vodka and sleeping tabs, the tabs downed with vodka

a few quids worth of cannabis would have taken me out of the anhedonia (look it up on the internet), and enabled me to cope through the worst times.

noone can understand just how bad opiate withdrawal is unless they have been through the full-on experience themselves, people have even been known to hang themselves etc...

i've resorted to self harm on some occasions to just see if i can feel ANYTHING at all..

[p0ly]

maybe if u weren't constantly suffering from alcohol/sleeping pill hangovers you wouldn't feel too bad that you need even more drugs to cope......

[JamZandwich]

BINGO!

[dollydaydream]

Originally posted by vincentx90

i'm sorry guys but total bullshit....

if you think weed is a problem drug for anyone who has been an opiate/H addict and is going through withdrawals then you just haven't ever experienced it for yourself.

those two drugs are so far apart they might as well come from different planets

i have spent 116 days fighting my mind that it really is worth living and that this awful anhedonia will end eventually, this is HELL

if a bit of cannabis reduces that suffering then so be it!

instead, i am harming myself with increasingly large doses of alcohol and sleeping tablets, now i've progressed from scrumpy/beer/wine to vodka and sleeping tabs, the tabs downed with vodka

a few quids worth of cannabis would have taken me out of the anhedonia (look it up on the internet), and enabled me to cope through the worst times.

noone can understand just how bad opiate withdrawal is unless they have been through the full-on experience themselves, people have even been known to hang themselves etc...

i've resorted to self harm on some occasions to just see if i can feel ANYTHING at all..

I do get you on the weed bit,i find it hard without it,feel like my head will explode because the raw feeling i get is just too much,im strung out,highly emotional and a right bitch.But i have fought the sleeping tablet thing because i know i will not be able to stop taking them once i start,i do drink but im totally aware of when and how often because this would end up being another addiction.So the weed does for me just what i need at the mo,not a perfect solution but one that given time i can also overcome !!!!
DDDxx

[the1log]

Well I can't smloke weed anymore anyway, since I got hooked on smack I got really parranoid that everyone was looking down on me for being on gear and all the other little things in my life that I was worried about would come out to scare me. I don't wan't to get hooked on booze either cos my Dad was a full blown alky \nd it eventualy took his life when I was 16.

On another note I've failed myself again. I got my bennifits paid on friday and I went on a crack, smack and valium binge.Well as far as £101.90 can take you. Well i'm back to day 1 again bollox

[joshd96320]

man you were doing so well l;(

[dollydaydream]

Just dont make this the excuse to carry on taking it !!!!
xxDDDxx

[the1log]

I can't I ain't got no more money :(

[dollydaydream]

lol good,day 2 will soon be here then!
xxDDDxx